May
4
This is paraphrased from a couple conversations me and my Mom had over the past few days:
Mom: I realized today that you’re going to be in San Francisco on Mother’s Day.
Craig: Oops, sorry about that.
A few days later…
Craig: I might go see Star Trek after work on Friday with the TV Group.
Mom: You can’t, you’re gonna be in San Francisco next weekend.
Craig: What?! Noooooooo!
Yeah, she wasn’t crazy about that.
May 4th, 2009 at 5:21 am
Your coming to SF? Are you planing any events to meet all the SF bloggers?
May 4th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Bring her to SF with you, and take her to a movie to celebrate Mother’s Day.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:24 am
I would love to meet up with SF bloggers, but I’m going with a few friends and I wouldn’t want to deviate from the group, since we’re only going for an extended weekend. I’ll be tweeting the whole time though, so maybe something can be arranged on the spot.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:25 am
A paraphrased recent conversation of my own with my kids:
Kids: “We love you, Dad.”
Me: “Hey, guess what? I’m quitting my job to do freelance! I’ll be home all summer!”
Kids: “What?! Noooooooo!!!”
May 4th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Thank god you have your mom to keep your life together. When you move out you are going to be so screwed.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:42 am
She might not have been crazy about it, but you can’t possibly tell me that she was surprised.
You should have all of your Commenters send her a card (e-card?) for Mother’s Day.
May 4th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Too funny! My hubby and kiddos just remembered that it is Mother’s Day this weekend too
May 4th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Yeah, you might want to be a bit more subtle with that, Craig.
Great idea, Xi_Heather!
May 4th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Damn, it’s quiet this morning…
May 4th, 2009 at 8:40 am
A buddy of mine thought yesterday was Mother’s Day, so he got up early, made breakfast, cleaned the house and when his wife woke up, she was all “what’s this all for?”
It was pretty funny. Because now he has to do all that over again next Sunday…
May 4th, 2009 at 8:42 am
I don’t remember if I posted this yesterday or not, but I finally got the comments section working on my blog. Apologies to all those folks that attempted to post, but couldn’t.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Craig: At least she knows her place.
Dave S.: Are you really quitting your job or were you giving your kids a hard time?
May 4th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Yup, I’m quitting my job.
It’s exciting and scaring the shit outta me at the same time. 
May 4th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Mother’s Day is not a big thing in my family. I might or I might not phone my Mom. If I remember. I forgot her birthday last week, fuuuuck. She might forget mine tomorrow. Not on purpose, we just kind of get busy and have a life. I don’t even send a card. Hmmm. Maybe we’re just lazy … and cheap.
For me vacation ALWAYS trumps something like Mother’s Day. It may not trump the new Star Trek movie though.
Dave: Good luck and hope you can find something you love to do.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:32 am
It’ll allow me to pursue a freelance career where I will likely make a bit more money, and also allow me to more actively chase down some opportunities for modeling, which have increased a bit due to Equus. (I even got a request to be a stripper at a club downtown)
(I think I’ll skip that offer…)
Hopefully it’ll all work out.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:39 am
Craig: One advantage of being 1500 miles away is that my mom doesn’t expect me to do something on Mother’s Day, although it would be nice if I could.
Dave S.: I’m sorry, but I’m not getting up at 5:00 in order to keep you company in the mornings.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Tam: On my mom’s birthday last month, I was at work when suddenly I became horrified as I realized the significance of the date. At least, I was able to call that evening.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Dave: Awwww. Come on. I’ve always wanted a stripper friend.
As I pointed out to Polt, you make more money as a stripper in Canada though as our smallest bill is $5. Kind of hard to stick $1 coins in the g-string.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Dave S.: You didn’t tell me they had strip clubs in Columbus! Shoot, I coulda gone there while you went to that retirement party!
As this post is titled, it’s all about priorities! 
HUGS….
May 4th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Ryan: I MEANT to call that evening. I thought about it several times during the day, then though I better wait until about 9:00 in case they went out to eat and then …. sigh. Oh well, she was fine with that and I called her the next morning. Most of the time her and my step-Dad forget about their anniversary until the week after. D’oh. Seems like my whole family is a bit slack on the big celebration thing.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Tam: the strip clubs I go to in Canada, they aren’t wearing g-strings.
HUGS….
May 4th, 2009 at 9:44 am
The Ryan with the Breakfast Scone: Hey, if you did, you wouldn’t miss out on all of the fun we’re having! Well, okay the fun *I’m* having. Commenting to myself. Over and over again.
[Insert snide Jonah comment here.]
May 4th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Tam: I always send my family member birthday/anniversary cards…but I always forget and send them late. My cousin, who’s birthday in August, got his birthday card in October last year. Better late than never, I always say!
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 9:45 am
Oh, and Craiggers, I think you’re priorities are in the proper order. Mother’s Day comes EVERY year, but this Star Trek movie’s only going to premiere ONCE! You’d think your mom would understand that!
HUGS….
May 4th, 2009 at 9:47 am
Polt: I have too many cousins to keep track of to do that.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Polt: The bars around here generally have strippers on Sunday nights. It’s known as “Church” and folks tend to bar-hop on that night. I’ve never been to a strip club, so I have no idea if there are any in the city. I assume there are.
Tam: 5 bucks a pop? That *would* make me consider it! LOL
Okay, maybe “pop” was the wrong word…
May 4th, 2009 at 10:11 am
OH NO!
May 4th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Polt: There are other places to tuck a 5.
Dave: You’ve never been to a strip club? Ever? Wow, who knew such innocence still existed. Or maybe I’m just totally perverted. (Okay, I only went once, to each kind.)
May 4th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Tam: Oh, I don’t know if I ought to be called “innocent”…
May 4th, 2009 at 10:31 am
…as my blog will likely prove as time goes on…
May 4th, 2009 at 10:41 am
The talk about strip clubs reminds me of the scene from Six Feet Under where the stripper outs David to his business associates.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:51 am
Have to confess I’ve never been to a strip club for a work related function. That would be too weird. “Congrats on signing the contract! Look at the ass on that one!”. Ummm. No.
Although some of my friends who worked in Asia have told me some amazing stories of what passes for business meetings over there.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:53 am
I’ve never been to a strip club period.
May 4th, 2009 at 10:54 am
So what’s a strip club like? Is it like in the movies and such?
May 4th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Dave: It was like the movies. The guys anyway. The one for the girls was not really a strip club so much as a bar with strippers (to our surprise). Imagine a movie but with everyone completely disinterested in the poor dears. There were no dollar bills being tucked that day.
My distant cousin was a stripper for years. But I think most of her tips went up her nose. Not pretty (although she was).
May 4th, 2009 at 11:05 am
I’d never been to a club til I went to Minneapolis a few months ago. It was cool; they played Britney twice.
As for Mother’s/Father’s Day, maybe it’s because I’m not a parent yet, but I think they’re kind of silly. Love your parents all-year round, show them that they are appreciated, etc. I feel like they’re such random holidays. Like Flag Day.
May 4th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Up her nose, Tam? Well…I guess you did say there were other places to tuck a 5!
May 4th, 2009 at 11:19 am
A conversation I just had:
Mom: I realized today that you’re going to be in San Francisco on Mother’s Day.
Craig: Oops, sorry about that.
Brad: Shit, Mother’s Day is this week?!?!
May 4th, 2009 at 11:31 am
Enrico! You’ve been to a strip club?! Good lord! Paradigm shift!! Arrgh!!
May 4th, 2009 at 11:31 am
If you try to see Star Trek in San Francisco, the Metreon will be your best bet – but get your tickets online in advance. It looks like they’re even showing it in IMAX (and that tickets are still available as of right now).
And if you have a chance, you should totally check out Borderland Books (http://www.borderlands-books.com/), my all-time favorite bookstore, which stocks nothing but sci-fi, fantasy and horror.
May 4th, 2009 at 11:44 am
Tam: When I worked in sales one summer, going to a strip club was a possible reward for a good day. Thankfully, they were nice enough not to go while I was there. We would go to normal bars instead.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
WHAT?!?! We’re talking about strip clubs?! How did I miss the word “strip” over and over?? lol!
No, never been to a strip club…. as a visitor.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Enrico: I was figuring that you weren’t talking about Deja Vu. What club did you go to?
May 4th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Ryan: Hmm… don’t remember. Spin? I think it was called Spin. We went to a few and didn’t get in (Aqua was one I remember). No strippers at the one I went to, but random ladies did stand on platforms in the center of the dance floor and dance provocatively!
May 4th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
OH! And a strip club was right down the street from us and it had the best title ever: The Dreamgirls!
I kinda wanted to go just for the name!
May 4th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
“No, never been to a strip club…. as a visitor.”
Naughty naughty boy.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Enrico, more and more, I have an overwhelming urge to corrupt your young soul. Seriously, I want to kidnap you, drag you to Vegas, and expose you everything from Long Island Iced Tea to “lights out” night at the bathhouse.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Tam: My Spanish is a bit rusty, but I got the impression that he treats his room as a private strip club.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I’ve never been to a strip club either. I knew someone who waited tables in one for a couple of years. She wore jeans and a club t-shirt to work every night and made a ton of money in tips. She was/is a beautiful woman and was asked on multiple occasions to strip, but always politely declined.
Dave S.: Excellent for you! We have a friend who models for Abercrombie and Fitch and he has said that the money is good.
Jere: “Lights out” seems like it would be a little scary!
May 4th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I worked at a strip club (or male erotic dance revue) when I was 22 years old. I did everything from working the light/sound booth, to taking money at the door, to fill-in emcee (the audience hated/loved me and my awful introductions: “Coming out next, a guy so big they named him after a state, give it up for Montana!” “He’s a pleaser not a teaser, get ready to be conquered by Cesar!”). The show manager used me as the test model when training new guys how to give lap dances. Oh, the good old days…
May 4th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Ryan: You could be right on that one.
I’m feeling so dirty now with all these clean living men who’ve never been to a strip club. I thought it was in the man-code somewhere you had to go at least once. There’s still time boys.
May 4th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Jere: Funny. You have a way with rhyme.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Jere: Hilarious. You’ll have to come up with an intro for Spike. LOL
john: Modeling is okay, but I’ll never make much money. The modeling world is extremely age-discriminatory, regardless of what you look like, and I’m just too old to be able to do anything other than small stuff on the side. And my look is very niche, which doesn’t help, either.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I’ll have to add myself to the list of those who’ve never been to a strip club. No idea what goes on inside those establishments. I haven’t even been to a bar in over 10 years.
jere: No chance on you writing a short book of poetry called “Introductions”?
May 4th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Jere: I now expect your next blog post to be a video of your days as a test model. I also expect you to really take me to Vegas (that’d actually be really cool!)
Dave, I meant to ask you what’s up with “Spike.” Were you influenced by Buffy?
May 4th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
FDot/Jere: Or rather “Introdicktions”…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Yeah, it’s from back in the day when my hair was bleached and spiked. Shortly thereafter, Buffy started and inevitably the name Spike got transferred to me. I’ve had the nickname ever since.
I still have friends who use it.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
If I were introducing someone named Montana you can bet a Hannah Montana reference would slip in…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Or Banana Montana…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Ouch. I apologize for that one.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Dave S.: Notice how Montana’s banana is pointed, making it perfect for inserting into one’s mouth. Proof that God designed him.
May 4th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Ryan: LOL I think that’s biblical…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
My LORD, what’s up with you people? No strip clubs??? I mean I expect virginal Enrickyricardo to have been to one, but the rest of you???? Crimeny, this past trip to Toronto was the first one in the 16 times I’ve been there that I did NOT go to a strip club there. But I was going to strip clubs in DC since I was in my mid 20’s.
Honestly, the first time in one, I was kinda blown away.
Me: My GOD…they’re naked.
My friend Mark: Yeah, it’s a strip club.
Me: Totally naked.
Mark: I told you they stripped naked here.
Me: Yeah, but it’s like the difference between hearing about a bloody murder and actually seeing the bloody murder scene! Seeing is so much more….visual.
Mark: I guess.
Me: Naked…they’re really…naked.
but after that, it becomes kinda blase.
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Obviously, in the post above, I meant Enrickyricardo to NOT have been to one.
And Enrickyricardo, get a passport, I might just have to swing by NJ next time on way to Toronto and kidnap you and show what life can REALLY be like.
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Ooo, Dave S., you’re are going to get autographed copies of any catalogs you’re in and send to me, right? And an autographed program from Equus is on it’s way here with my Torchwood DVD’s, right? I’ll just put the program and the catalogs next to the autographed Instinct issue I have from last October.
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Jere: You were an auditioner for lap top dancers??? Geez Louise, how do I get a job like that????
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
Now I’m being kidnapped by Jere AND Polt? Anyone else wanna help me live out my dream of traveling the world? lol
May 4th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
Enrico: If I had money, I’d consider it.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Ryan: Excellent Banana Montana reference.
Strip clubs do get kind of old very fast. I was pretty young when I went to the male one. It was my good friend’s Mom’s birthday. Riiight. Anyway, first guy “WOW!”, second guy “Neat”, third guy “That’s nice”, fourth guy “Can we get some more beer over here?” fifth guy “Do you mind? I’m trying to talk to my friend.”
May 4th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
One of my friends once objected to Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels for movie night because it was pornographic. At first, I thought she might be referring to the guy getting killed by being bludgeoned to death with a dildo. It took my at least ten minutes to remember the strip club scene.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
Ryan: Is Guy Ritchie not brilliant!? I love that guy’s movies.
Snatch was amazing.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Dave S.: I love and own both.
May 4th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Surprisingly, I too loved “Snatch”. Who’da thunk it, eh?
Never saw the two smoking barrels though.
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Ryan: I own both as well. Incredibly fun movies.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Dave S. Congratulations on the freelancing thing. Now that you’re working from home, you’ll be able to comment more. And Banana Montana…Bwahaha!
I want to take Enrico to Disneyland and buy him a balloon.
Tam – glad you’re not on top of the birthday thing because yours is TOMORROW and your card is sitting next to me : ).
Xi_Heather, I like your ecard idea.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Craig – too bad you can’t go on a guilt trip, since you’ll need your bags for San Francisco : ).
May 4th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
I like the e-card idea too. Now let’s see if Craig wants to share his mother’s e-mail address with all of us….
Michelle M. – Please?! I’ve never been there!
May 4th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Enrico: If the balloon comes wrapped in foil, watch out.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
You are so bad Ryan.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Jere: Those introductions were hysterical!
Dave S.: Banana Montana was pretty awesome!
I never really got the appeal of strip clubs. I’m supposed to give you money for shaking your junk at me, but I can’t touch, all I can do is look? I can think of more productive ways of spending my money.
Polt: The guys strip totally naked? Um, do I wan to know where they collect money? Seriously, do they have wrist bands? I think I would have been completely shocked if I walked into a bar and saw Montana’s banana and yellowstones flopping all over the place.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Tee hee Ryan.
Enrico – We’re on!
May 4th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Tam: I’m not the one talking about lights out.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Ryan: I’m not even sure what the hell that means, but I think I can imagine. I have a good imagination. Oooooh. Scary. Okay, I’m done imagining now.
May 4th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Dave S. – Got a comment in on your blog, but honey, no one will want to leave the home page…
May 4th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
john: in DC, they wore socks. You just slid the bills in the socks, then they’d squat down and talk to you for a bit, or whatever. Legend has it that there was one dancer who was so well endoweled, when he was squatted down, he’d stir your drink for you. Never saw it myself, I’m just sayin….
Wow, Vegas, Toronto, DIsneyland….sounds like Enrickyricardo’s gonna get passed around between us like a drunked sorority girl at a frat party!
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Cupcake: You are on a roll today!
May 4th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
I really hope we’re able to meet while you’re here. It would seriously suck if it didn’t happen.
That being said, my band is playing in San Francisco Friday night if you’re looking for something fun to check out in North Beach. No cover charge, and if you tell them you know the band you’ll get adoring looks from the crowd. http://www.totaleclipseband.com/about
(Maggie McGarry’s on the corner of Grant Ave and Green Street – show starts at 9:30pm or so.)
May 4th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
I’ll be working, but my mother doesn’t expect too much and will be happy with a phone call. Maybe you should work on lowering your mom’s expectations.
May 4th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Hmmm. This is post 89. Are we aiming for 100 tonight?
May 4th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
I can’t leave it at 89. I have to round up to 90.
Where’s Mark today? I can’t believe he missed the stripper discussion. Sigh.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Jester: Would love to get together while I’m in San Francisco. I’ll stalk you on twitter the entire time.
I’ll give my Mom’s email to whoever wants to be in charge of the ecard.
May 4th, 2009 at 7:48 pm
Craiggers, I don’t want to be “in charge” of it, but I’d certainly send Mama Craiggers a Mother’s Day ecard!
HUGS…
May 4th, 2009 at 7:58 pm
Yeah – I don’t wanna be in charge either. I nominate Jonah.
May 4th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Michelle: Evil, you are evil.
I can’t even get my own mother a card, e- or otherwise so I don’t think I’d be good to be in charge.
May 4th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
I think Craiggers should be in charge of it, after all, it’s HIS mother! He should send her email to all us Puntabulaters (?) and have us send ecards.
And think we can get the count here up to 100?
HUGS….
May 4th, 2009 at 10:52 pm
Michelle M.: You are the best non-sibling-twin I have (n)ever had.
May 4th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
john : ).
Okay, here’s a mother/stripping fail to combine some of today’s topics and get us up to 100.
http://failblog.org/2009/05/03/parenting-fail-9/
May 5th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Enrico: It overshadows everything?
May 5th, 2009 at 12:39 am
Jeez, her shoes don’t even match.
May 5th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Me for the win at 100? Or will Ryan beat me?
Why am I not asleep when I have to be up in about 5 hours. Someone hit me on the head. I can sleep easy now knowing we reached or surpassed 100 posts.
May 5th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Tam: I’m still up because I’m making barley for breakfast, but I’m a couple time zones over.
May 5th, 2009 at 12:59 am
Tam – I hadn’t noticed that. How tacky. Now go to bed.
May 5th, 2009 at 8:03 am
Yeah, I’m with Polt; we should flood her inbox. But I don’t think Craig wants to just spread around her e-mail address. Maybe we can send them all to Craig and tell him to pass them on.
Ryan: Yes
May 15th, 2009 at 5:21 am
[...] as you know I didn’t get to see Star Trek on opening weekend. It was my most anticipated summer movie and I missed it. Luckily time spent with my friends is [...]