1. Pour candy out of an M&M’s bag into somebody else’s hand. It’s just so awkward. How much do you pour in? If you don’t pour enough, it’s insulting and you seem cheap with your candy. If you pour too much, you each go “Whoa!” but then you never get the excess candy back. It’s a lose-lose situation.
2. Tell people the time. No, I’m not trying to keep the time from you, but reading an analog clock on the spot always freaks me out, and I always stumble as if I’ve never read a clock face before. And exactly how precise do I need to be? Will a quarter-to suffice if it’s really twenty-to?
3. Talk on the phone. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. I will text message you till the cows come home (where did those damn cows go anyway?) but talking on the phone limits my ability to multi-task. I’m not even that crazy about instant messaging anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I was on AIM (best screenname ever: YodaLeiaHeeHoo). The instant gratification of chatting is not something I’m willing to provide, especially when there is so much good television to be watched.
4. Laugh at your stupid jokes. If I hear “Looks like we got on the local.” on the elevator one more time, I’m going to blow my your brains out. Especially if you’re on the floor above me and you say this as you stop on my floor to pick me up on the way down. I’m terribly sorry to inconvenience you, your highness! And seriously, we’ve all heard it a million times. Be original!
5. Wait in line behind kids to get my haircut. I spend $12 on my haircut at a local unisex barber and it take about 10 minutes to do me (LOL: do me) but when I walk in and there is a mom there with her 17 children, I go insane. Sorry Mommy Bloggers! But seriously, waiting behind your kids drives me crazy. They take just as long as adults, if not longer, and they always travel in packs.
HAHAHA…looks like someone is in need of some couselling…as soon as I get out of it myself I’ll let you know. I can’t handle people that sneeze more than once and if they don’t cover their mouth I just about lose my head.
I rarely talk on the phone and chat even less. Nor do I text. Oh wait, I have no friends. Issue resolved. But its true, that is the best screen name ever.
I’m old and crabby now so I hate to do everything. Except read. I need to win the lottery, move to a tropical isle, hire cabana boys to do all my work and serve me drinks and read until I die. Why? Why are the fates against me and won’t make my one dream come true? Sigh. Rant over. Have a lovely day.
1. Pour them into a bowl or eat them alone in your room.
2. Don’t wear a watch or keep a clock anywhere you might be asked.
3. Just turn the phone off unless you need it.
4. Just slap ‘em. And I’ve never actually heard that one on an elevator, but I’m not a city mouse.
5. Go to a more upscale salon, especially if they throw in a good scalp massage. Pamper yourself and avoid the Pampers crowd.
I agree with all of these except the last one, because when i get my hair cut (like 3 times a year) I never wait behind kids.
And if you love texting, and I love texting, why do you never text me??
I hate talking on the phone, it is never convenient. I’m not a fan of the instant chat for the same reason.
I’ve never heard the elevator comment.
I hate having to get gas for my car. It isn’t the money, it all comes down to always needing gas at the most inopportune times.
Lastly, I hate folding clothes and ironing. I do both, I just don’t like it.
I do, however, like wishing cool people happy birthday. Happy Birthday Tam!
That M&M thing is *so* true!!
Some things I hate to do:
- Being around someone that I want to go out with. I turn into a blathering idiot. Or super shy. Or a super blathering shy idiot.
- Talking about the weather in the elevator.
How could I forget? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAM!
Enrico: Email me for my cell number.
Dammit, john — I totally forgot that it’s Tam’s birthday. And the date’s printed on my calendar! I have no excuse!
Happy Birthday, Tam! Since this is Star Trek week: Party like a Spock star!
OK.
And although I already said it on Facebook, Happy Birthday Again Tam!
Biggest pet peeve: people who don’t give you the acknowledgment wave after you let them in in traffic. This angers me to no end.
biggest pet peeve in the world. No stall doors in bar bathrooms. And since I spend most of my life in bars this does happen more than it should. When I’m standing not a problem but if i have to sit in there I would like a little privacy, please.
Bradford: Oh yeah, THAT is annoying. Is it so hard to raise a hand to acknowledge my existence?
Thanks everyone. I’m not dead yet so I guess the day is going well. I want to party WITH the Spock star. Mmmmmm. ::gazes dreamily off into space::
Jonah: Totally with you there. How hard would it be to install a door?! I’m totally pee-shy, so I always head to the stall at a bar, but without a door, it does me no good! Ack! I’ve learned to just not bother…
Jonah: If you started carrying a man-purse you could keep one of those little solar blankets that fold up tiny and some tape in there and then quickly make yourself a curtain. Or start wearing dresses and go in the ladies. We ALWAYS have doors.
Tam: Zachary Quinto shares my April 1st b-day.
So I really could party like a Spock star on my birthday!
Oh, another thing that I don’t like to do:
(unless they’re creative.) (which they usually aren’t.) (because I’ve heard just about all of them in my 41 years of existence.)
Listen to all the lame April Fool’s Day jokes when people find out the date of my birthday.
Hey, Happy Cinco de Mayo for any celebrants here. No clue what that is, but any reason for margaritas works for me. Actually we’re going for Mexican tomorrow (no time tonight) so I’ll have one then.
Dave: Its because they know what boys get up to behind bathroom stall doors. Naughty naughty.
When I went to that club in Minneapolis, against one of the walls was a string of stalls with see-through doors. They weren’t even in an enclosed bathroom space, just against the wall for all to see. But the people who used them took advantage of this fact o_O
Oh, and I tried to go into one just to make a phone call (I needed quiet) and the bouncer actually pulled me out of it and told me it was for girls only X |
Lame.
Tam: Happy Birthday and Cinco de Mayo! Now you have me wanting a margarita, and I’m not even at work yet. That’s not good.
Craig: So you weren’t really a bit tipsy, but having trouble multitasking instead?
The candy bag thing sounds like a problem, but I don’t usually carry bags of candy around. I never have heard the elevator thing, but I rarely use the elevator. The last time I was on an elevator was mid-March.
Ugh. My parents and brother want to take a family vacation. I’m not going to use a week’s vacation to spend 24/7 with my family in a place where I don’t really want to be.
Craiggers: I’ve heard tell that being “jess a lil bit TIPsy” helps one with #3.
Tam: When you’ve won the lottery and are going to that isle with cabana boys, don’t forget to take your Toronto buddy with ya, kay?
Yeah, no stall bathroom doors DO suck…but they do that cause, like Tam says, of what we boys can get into behind said bathroom stall doors.
Tam, happy birthday, babe! You’re card was mailed this morning, so you’ll get it, oh, I don’t know three weeks from today or something. Maybe you can just celebrate until you recieve the card?
Oh, and shameless plug time: Tam and I got some gifts for some of you over at my blog….
HUGS…
Cupcake: Ya know, I think you’re correct, it probably wasn’t the ‘jess a lil bit TIPsy” that was the problem, it was the multitasking. He said he had been undressing while we were talking, so undressing, on the phone AND TIPsy, well that mighta been just enough to throw Craiggers off a bit.
HUGS….
Ryan: I’m with you. I love my parents and usually I don’t mind vacationing with them but they want me to go to Texas next year and I want to go to San Diego.
Maybe I can drop the kid off over Texas somewhere and keep flying. They want to see her anyway, not me. I’m not dumb, I know how that works with Grandparents. Thanks for the wishes.
Ryan: My mom, sister, brother-in-law, nephews, niece, me and my kids are vacationing together in Michigan next month. And I can’t wait!
And as far as Polt’s gifts go, I got the best one(s).
Dave S.: We never vacationed with extended family, but I think having more people around would probably help.
Tam: You should totally come to San Diego.
1, 2 & 5 LOL
3 Completely agree with you
4 – I’ll have to remember that. I’m guilty of using that elevator comment myself. Although it’s usually in an apologetic/don’t worry about it way if I/they hit the wrong floor, causing a false stop.
my own pet peeve: Places that do not have enough stalls in the women’s bathroom, like the movie theater or Applebees (Lowes bless them has an unexpected 8). Also liked that there was no line for the ladies room when I saw Pet Shop Boys at Hammerstein ballroom and super long line for the men’s room.
And Happy Birthday Tam! Hope you have a great day and do something fun!
When it comes to time, just mess with people. Tell them it’s “1 hour and 24 minutes past 3pm” or something like that.
Happy Birthday Tam!! I assume your local town has declared it Tam Day or something equally important?
FDot: Yes, I’d be receiving the key to the city if our mayor wasn’t busy in court defending himself against influence pedaling. Really, he is. Sigh. So this year I’ve been passed over yet again. Perhaps next year they’ll name the new football stadium after me.
Tam, I hear Sears in Toronto is starting something The Tam Ames Memorial School Of Mannequinn Placement.
HUGS…
Polt: It’s probably still there, due to it’s brilliant, Tam-altered staging…
And is it quiet around these parts, or is it just me? Only 30-something comments and it’s already noon.
I know Spike300′s been slow today too…
I’m never going to live that down am I?
Tam: LOL There’s an entire community here that will make sure that that never happens.
Okay, off to find a sunny place in the sun to read my book and eat my lunch. My birthday treat to myself. Be back. Post lots so I don’t have to work kay?
Aww, Dom Delouise died.
You verbal communication-phobes blow my mind. Who doesn’t like to talk on the phone? What, so you can’t watch TV or text 3 people simultaneously if you’re actually communicating one-on-one with someone? Ye Gods. No wonder social skills are on the wane. Texting is not talking to someone. Texting is mailing extremely brief letters really really fast. Conversation requires listening and give and take. Hands down I’d prefer to talk to someone on the phone (if I couldn’t meet them in person) over texting.
The stupid jokes in elevators thing I totally agree with.
Well that didn’t work out. “Hey are you going outside to eat? Can I join you?” Ummm. Sure. “Crap its cold out here. Let’s go inside.” Yeah sure. It was cold and I had a very enjoyable lunch with my coworker, I like her a lot but I got one sentence read. Oh well, I had a lovely oatmeal raisin cookie.
Go Kitty: That’s sad.
You seem to have missed your cup a’ coffee this morning
Kari: So true! Sooooo sleepy. Having an afternoon coffee as we speak.
I had too damn much coffee last night, then totally couldn’t sleep. Finally fell asleep on the couch at around 2am. Then my alarm went off at 4:30.
Now I’m majorly dragging…
David: It’s not really a verbal-communication phobia, (for me at least), it’s just I think phone conversations are very impersonal (as strange as that sounds). I just have a fear of telephones, it’s a very awkward way of communication. I could shoot the breeze for hours with a friend face to face but not over the phone. I play off their facial gestures and enjoy conversation in person. Also I tend to communicate with my body a lot, my hands especially, and I can’t do that over the phone. I guess that’s why I enjoy texting more, because there is that added tactile component.
Some people just aren’t made for phone conversating…mwomp mwomp
#1 – Just sort through and give them the red ones.
#2 – Tell them it’s time to get a watch (a joke which is probably someone’s #4).
And Happy Birthday Tam!
I say screw your parents and come out and party with me and the Cupcake.
If the fates turn and grant your wish, take me with you!
Hey Craig. I see Fringe has been renewed for a second season. Are you still off it or have you been secretly watching it? I suppose I could catch up on Space where they play it 4 times a week it seems but I still find her irritating as hell.
Tam: I shall never understand TV execs.
Cupcake AND Michelle M. are in San Diego???? Wow, now that’s perhaps the only thing that would make me want to visit Southern California.
HUGS…
Tam: No, I haven’t been watching. I figured if I heard it got better I would catch up on DVD. But it still doesn’t strike my fancy.
Polt – what about the shirtless cuties on the beach?