Puntabulous

GUEST POST: Bringing Back Puntabulous Does the Movies!

Enrico from Hotel Tuesday here. When I first started reading Puntabulous, I was so enthralled by Craig’s witty posts that I went far back into Puntabulous history and some old posts. Along the way, I stumbled across this, one of my favorite posts. Not only was it short, simple and funny, but it mentioned Kate Winslet AND I LOLed at Susannah’s comment, which totally made the post pointless.

So anyway, Craig decided that no one liked these entries or something and stopped making them. Whenever he mentions these old entries, I often bug him and tell him to start making them again because I enjoy them.

So when Craig asked for guest bloggers, I figured I could use this opportunity to rally support for the return of Puntabulous Does The Movies!

Here are some examples of Puntabulous Does the Movies that Craig has recently missed out on:

Here is Craig when he was cast as Miley Cyrus’ love interest in Hannah Montana: The Movie.

When shooting began, Hannah’s signature blond wig was often missing from the set. When Miley caught Craig wearing the wig, she had him fired.

Craig was the original actor hired to play Mr. Brown (Madea’s boyfriend) in Madea Goes To Jail.

He was let go when everyone finally realized he wasn’t black.

This is Craig when he briefly played the role of Carrie Bradshaw’s assistant in Sex and the City: The Movie.

But after replacing Sarah Jessica Parker’s wardrobe with only argyle-patterned clothing, he was fired. He was replaced by the equally sassy Jennifer Hudson.

And who could forget Craig’s recent role as Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen?

Unfortunately, Craig was cut from the movie based on audeince reaction during early screenings of the movie. The director later revealed: “All you could hear were gasps when Craig appeared in his full-frontal pose. The women were over-excited and the men looked really uncomfortable. It was such a sight it made it difficult to concentrate on the plot, so the decision was made to get rid of him.” A ‘lesser’ actor was hired to replace him.

Now do you see why Craig needs to bring back PDTM? If he doesn’t, you guys will always remember these poor excuses as the last installments of PDTM, and they deserve better. And did you ever realize that the tag “movies” leads to the link “http://puntabulous.com/category/puntabulous-does-the-movies/”? I say it’s time to make that link actually take us to Puntabulous Doing the Movies! Now who’s with me?

RANDOM | Craig | May 11, 2009 5:00 am

87 Comments

By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 7:27 am

Dr. Manhatten. Funny. Sure, I’m all up for Paint pictures of Craig doing anything (or anyone).
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 7:36 am

The funniest thing about that old Puntabulous post was that Craig got only a single comment. Now, those few words would have us Puntabupeople going on for *hours*…

Enrico: Awesome. Loved the Hannah Montana panel. Hilarious. And you’re right — Craig should bring these back!
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 7:38 am

Enrico: You shouldn’t have worried! Michelle M. set the bar pretty high, but you hit this one out of the park! The Doctor Manhattan scene is pretty funny, but I like Craig in jail better, his expression is awesome.
By David, May 11, 2009 @ 8:31 am

Enrico: YOU should be doing these. You definitely have a knack for them. These are very clever.
By hayden, May 11, 2009 @ 8:49 am

Well done Enrico!
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 9:20 am

hehehehe, Enrickyricardo, great job! I mean you’re no Craiggers when it comes to MSPaint (but then who is?) and you’re a pretty damn good artist in your own right.

I would have thought Craiggers would have been PERFECT for Dr. Manhattan considering how freakishly tall he is. But yeah, Lil Craiggers (Not-So-Lil Craigger (?)) woulda been too much of a distraction, you’re absolutely right.

Since they did a crappy offshoot of the X-Men with just Wolverine, perhaps they could do an offshoot of the Watchmen, with Criaggers as Dr. Manhattan called “Dr. Manhattan Does Dallas”?

HUGS…
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 9:49 am

Polt: Who’s Dallas? Do we know him? Is he cute? Does he have good hair?
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 9:50 am

And let’s not forget the time where Mr. McAnally was cast as a Star Trek villain.

“Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaig!”

Shatner had him fired during the first rehearsal after Craig offered him Ex-lax, foolishly forgetting that that was his normal acting style…
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 10:09 am

Funny Dave.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 10:24 am

Polt: If not Dallas, then at least Long Island.

Tam: What constitutes “good hair”?
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 11:09 am

John: Well for Polt it seems to need a lot of body. I’m still trying to work it out.
By Mark, May 11, 2009 @ 11:20 am

Enrico: Great job!

Tam: Polt likes a lot of body? He’d Love me.
By Chris D., May 11, 2009 @ 11:22 am

Great post Enrico! Craig should totally bring back that feature. It is fun.
By Mark, May 11, 2009 @ 11:24 am

Ooops, you meant hair body…I’m stupid.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 11:24 am

Enrico: Wait . . . Craig isn’t black?

Tam: Matt Dallas:
http://www.showbitch.net/img/cart/2009/05/01/matt_dallas8.jpg
By Chris D., May 11, 2009 @ 11:25 am

I think Polt likes “hair things”, but I don’t know if any one has ever been able to define that. Maybe body is important to a good “hair thing”.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 11:33 am

Ryan: Why is he slimey? I think Craig’s standards are slightly higher than slimey confused nakedness.

Chris: You’re right, the “hair thing” is such a mysterious state of being. I’m telling you, mousse is a wonderful thing.

Mark: From what I read you are getting less and less body by the minute. Hope you are feeling better.
By Mark, May 11, 2009 @ 11:34 am

I’m trying, but I can’t keep up. so I’m going nite nite.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 11:36 am

Tam: I don’t know. I think it’s from Kyle XY, and I don’t watch that.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 11:38 am

I have to admit, I am completely confused by the “hair thing”. When asked, he sent me a photo, but I still couldn’t figure it out.

Tam: mousse may be wonderful, but wax is better (at least for me).

Mark: You aren’t stupid and like Tam said, you are the shrinking man! Congrats so far! How are you recovering?
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 11:43 am

John: I use both. With fine hair the more product the better. You have to blow dry with mousse though unless you like super crunchy hair which is kind of gross IMHO.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 11:50 am

Tam: I have the opposite problem, I have more hair then I need and now that it is so gray, it grows out rather than down. I’ve fixed that by getting the Anderson Cooper cut.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 11:53 am

Ohhhh. Anderson Cooper. *dreamy sigh*
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 11:56 am

Tam: I’ll give you that, but any similarities between he and I end there. Lord knows I’m not inviting anyone to a gun show.
By Mark, May 11, 2009 @ 12:05 pm

John: I’m really doing great, the only problem I have on the cognitive/aphasia tests is with opposites, and short term memory. I can answer the opposite questions, but it takes me like 5-10 seconds instead of instantly. And I tend to forget, not so much in the last few days. My neurologist is really happy and so am i. just waiting for the new pathways to kick in.
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 12:08 pm

That’s awesome to hear, Mark!!! Glad things are going so well.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

Mark: Excellent news. I hope I wasn’t prying. I didn’t know what procedure you had done (and don’t need to know) but was hoping that your recovery was going smoothly, which is sounds like it is. I hope things only continue to go well.
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 12:17 pm

Who on Puntabulous is a computer expert?
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

Dave S.: I’m no expert, but I have some resources, what you got?
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 12:23 pm

john: Actually, I really don’t need any help. I just need to know who on here might be an expert. Why, you may ask? It’s a secret.
By Mark, May 11, 2009 @ 12:24 pm

John: youre not prying. I just have trouble remembering who I told my first day out of hospital. I was in an auto accident and had a “CHI”, (closed head injury). I was out for a few days but it was really minor as far as damage is concerned. I’m really lucky! The damaged neural pathways that are messed up should reconnect in a month or so. Sorry this took so long to send but I have to think about everything i type and reread it before i send.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

Dave S.: Gotcha. Many of my good friends work in IT, so I have a pretty good network to help answer questions. I’m so not an expert, so I am of no interest for your future secret plans.

The day you need to figure out how to tell someone bad news, figure out if they are clinically mentally ill or how to fire someone, then I can be helpful.
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 12:28 pm

Damn. I’m glad of your luck, Mark, and that you’re still with us.

And I mean that.
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 12:30 pm

john: Hmm… Interesting… I may have a use for that information… [thoughtfully smoothing my nonexistent mustache...]
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 12:31 pm

Mark: No worries at all! I’m just glad you are doing well and that the prognosis is so good.

I had a suspected CHI about 12 years ago. I was injured during a restraint, when my head and the patient’s head collided. They thought I cracked the back of one of my sinuses. Luckily, I didn’t have a fracture.
By Craig, May 11, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

Mark: Glad to hear you’re doing well.

Enrico: Great post! Welcome to the world of off topic commenting!
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 12:49 pm

Craig: You say that like it is a bad thing.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

Dave: No computer expert here. Just so you know. I can however tell you to call 944-HELP and “maybe” a tech guy will help you or maybe he’ll give that ultimate tech advice “reboot your machine”. Yeah, thanks for that Mr. Expert. (Yes, I’m bitter.)

Mark: How scary. Glad you are going to make a full recovery.

Craig: We started on topic, sheesh, give us some credit.
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 12:59 pm

Thanks everyone!

Dave S. – I tried to make Craig with the Hannah Montana wig not look like you… not sure if I succeeded.

And Matt Dallas is in Katy Perry’s “Thinking of You” video (I love that song/vid!)
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 1:00 pm

Enrico: Oh, well if he’s not slimey that would be an improvement. Not sure I’ve seen that video.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 1:18 pm

Tam: You can find a lot of non-slimy pictures on Google.

Enrico: My entire knowledge of Hannah Montana comes from a Robot Chicken parody (http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951e5ec5d3011e5fffcec3008a).
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 1:24 pm

Ryan w/ cupcake – Lol! I saw that episode (I love RC!) and it was a great spoof. I love the ending and the Lindsay Lohan cameo.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 1:26 pm

Cupcake: I’m liking you more and more! That was AWESOME! The end comparison to that Zoey 101 whore made me snort! Lohan’s cameo was great too. I missed that episode.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 1:28 pm

Enrico: I’m waiting for them to announce a fifth season.

Also, guess whom I’m listening to right now.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 1:31 pm

john: I can’t remember the details of the clip. My computer at work doesn’t have sound, so I will have to re-watch it when I get home.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 1:32 pm

Shoot, that video link doesn’t work here. Have to wait till I get home. We aren’t Hannah Montana fans at our house. Certainly not the TV show anyway.
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 2:08 pm

My God, there’s 6 comments, I leave to do laundry and now there’s 46!! WTF!!!

Well, anyways, let’s see if I can catch up…

Tam: Obviously I meant the town Dallas, but hell, I knew a guy named Dallas once and if Craiggers wants to do him, I’m selling tickets and popcorn to the event cause that would be AWESOME!

Tam & john & anyone else: hairthing’s don’t necessarily involved a lot of body (although them being attached to a HOT body is defiinitely a plus). Basically, it’s just long-ish, well maintained, well styled hair on a guy. Could be anything from an emo combover over the eyes, to a long mane of blonde hair. similar to what Justice Potter said in the Supreme Court pornography case “I can’t define a hairthing, but I know it when I see it!”

HUGS…
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 2:09 pm

john: I sent you a photo of a hairthing? And it didn’t help with the explanation??? Hmm, I’ll have to try harder then….

HUGS…
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 2:10 pm

Mark: Glad to hear you’re doing so well! Keep improving!

HUGS…
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 2:18 pm

Polt: The Justice Potter explanation actually cleared things up considerably. The photo you sent made sense to the extent that it was a scantily clad Asian guy and I could see what you liked in him (other than *you* in him).

I think I was confused that a hair thing was a specific cut/style rather than an overall quality of hair care and styling.
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 2:23 pm

Ryan con la magdalena: Britney?? Miley?? Kate??
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 2:24 pm

john: *SIGH*….I think you people are reading WAAAAAYYY too much into this whole hairthing deal. Cripes, don’t you people know me well enough by now to know how shallow I am??? I don’t put a lot of thought into things, I’m just not that deep!

Longish hair+cute guy= hairthing.
not-longish hair + any guay= NON=hairthing

Course, there is the corallary about bald black men, but I’m not going into that until you’ve grasped the basic hairthing theory.

HUGS….
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 2:26 pm

Magdalena Hagdalena Uka Taka Waka Waka Oka Mocha Polka was her name.
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 2:26 pm

Sorry. That just kinda popped into my head.
By Michelle M., May 11, 2009 @ 2:27 pm

Cuppers! You stole my line “Wait . . . Craig isn’t black?”. Damn, that’s what I get for getting up so late.

Enrico – this is hilarious. I’ll praise more later, but I have to see a man about a car. Too funny!
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 2:29 pm

Polt, john: See, I always thought the hairthing was an actual, y’know, *thing*. Like a barrette is a thing, or a ponytail holder is a thing, or a lice egg is a thing. I didn’t realize your thing was a “thang”…

I’m *so* much less confused now.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 2:30 pm

Enrico: Britney. If U Seek Amy isn’t as clever as I’d hoped. It would have been better if the innocent reading made grammatical sense.

Michelle M.: I was going to nominate him to be Colbert’s new black friend.
By Jonah, May 11, 2009 @ 2:42 pm

Stop doing research for spikeless on puntabulous!
By Jonah, May 11, 2009 @ 2:43 pm

that last comment was for Dave S
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 2:44 pm

Ryan: Does Colbert need a new black friend? I’m still wondering if Hungary named that bridge in Budapest after him. Or that space station module.

Polt: But bald and black is so much easier to understand. http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y9/ipol28/Hotblackguy.jpg A hair thing (or thang) is so subjective.
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 2:45 pm

Polt: Don’t worry, I didn’t lose sleep or anything, I’m just trying to understanding the all seeing purple eye of Polt. I also admit that much of my confusion was due to the comments about bald black men because that really doesn’t seem like it qualifies as a hair thing. I think I understand it all now. Not sure I could pick one out in a line up, but I get the concept.

Dave S.: To use a phrase I know you will understand: “Whatchoo talkin’ about Willis?”

Michelle M.: Oh, I hope it is about getting a new one and not about repairing an older one.

I’d like to take this opportunity to make a post related comment and say how much I love Enrico’s barn drawing and the thing in Sarah Jessica Parker’s head. Which despite *not* being a hair thang, is a hair thing and is done quite well.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 2:51 pm

John: It looks like a gigantic drangonfly crashed into her head and she just left it there, which is so something SJP would wear (in character or not it seems).
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

Tam: It totally does! I think hats are cool on people that look good in them. I’m not familiar enough with SJP’s wardrobe choices in or out of character (I’ve never seen Sex in the City) but I imagine a good hat might help balance out her nose.

I don’t have a hat head. I look like a 12 year old if I put on a baseball cap.
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 3:04 pm

I thought the thing in SJP’s head was reminiscent of Shaq(etc)’s lightning bolt hat-thingee from the Project Runway challange, and I just assumed Richard Parker helped Enrickyricardo on that shot.

HUGS…
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 3:06 pm

And john: my head’s too big to wear a hat. Honestly. I have one baseball cap (with Church Street in Toronto on it, of all things) that I can wear. everything else is too small.

Ask Tam or Dave S., they’ve seen me. they’ll tell you i have a HUGE head.

(and come on now, we’re all too mature for the avalanche of forthcoming comments that I know will inevitably ensure, aren’t we?)

HUGS…
By john, May 11, 2009 @ 3:09 pm

Polt: I won’t take the bait, but will say “big hat, big head, big brain”. You are so screwed when the zombie apocalypse happens.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 3:12 pm

John: Funny.

I’ve never seen an episode of SATC either. No interest but I’ve seen enough pics of the costumes.

Polt: Your head is in proportion to your size. You are tall, big hands, etc. If your head was too small you’d look like that shrunken head guy in Beetlejuice (which is probably spelled wrong but I’m too lazy to google it.)
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

Why is his head so big? Whyyyyyy is his head so big?

I couldn’t resist the Zim quote.
By Tam, May 11, 2009 @ 3:17 pm

Damn Ryan, do you have all the episodes memorized?
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

Tam: Last week, I was using a list of quotes to find appropriate ones. Today, that quote came to mind immediately.

If I had searched today, I would have chosen: Did you summon a Big-Head Demon to give you a big head? Man, that is a REALLY big head!
By Dave S., May 11, 2009 @ 3:32 pm

Jonah: If you knew why I asked my computer question, that would mean that you actually visited my blog. Is this a confession?
By M. Nicodemus, May 11, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

Wow! I am late to the party again. Let me see if I can catch up…

Enrico: Great job on the post! I would have definitely paid extra to see Craiggers in Watchmen

Mark: Glad to hear things are going in the right direction, get well soon!

Dave S: Why yes, I am a fully accredited computer geek; B.S. in computer engineering and way more years experience than I like to admit in tech support, software development, and satellite data communication. Why do you ask (and don’t say because your computer’s built-in cup holder broke)?

Ryan: LOL @ big head quote! GIR always makes me laugh.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 4:47 pm

M. Nicodemus: I was going to watch all of Invader Zim again, but the second season of The Wire has caught me.
By M. Nicodemus, May 11, 2009 @ 4:53 pm

TRWTC: I haven’t seen The Wire, what network is it on? I am desperately trying to catch up on Supernatural. I am four episodes behind, and I can only watch when my wife isn’t home (she doesn’t do scary well).
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 4:56 pm

SJPs hat is actually inspired by that hat she wore to the London premiere of SATC: The Movie. Guess no one picked up on that? lol.

Did anyone pick up on the quote about Craig’s penis being too big? Anyone??
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 4:57 pm

M. Nicodemus: The Wire was on HBO. It finished its fifth and final season this past winter. I am watching the series again. I am also watching the second season of Supernatural, but The Wire is more awesome even if it has less eye candy.
By Xi_Heather, May 11, 2009 @ 5:09 pm

Enrico, fabulous post! The Carrie Bradshaw one is my favorite.

Mark, I’m really glad that your recovery is going well. That stinks to have to undergo everything, but I’m glad it’s looking so good.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 5:12 pm

Enrico: I was not aware of SJP’s fashion choices at the various movie premieres. However, I did catch that you made Craig’s censor bar bigger than the one you used for yourself.
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 6:24 pm

Ryan – No way! My (angled) censor bar went to my BENT knee, meaning that if I were standing straight up, it would go down farther than Craig’s. Until Craig finally compares censor bars with me, mine gets to go lower.
And SJPs hat was big news! Apparently the other girls were annoyed that she stole the attention…. I always hated when tabloids said the girls were fighting. I don’t believe any of it!
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 6:47 pm

Enrico: It looks like Craig’s censor bar goes to hid mid-calves. However, the two of you could settle this by submitting photos. Of course, any photos should have reference objects.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 11, 2009 @ 6:49 pm

Enrico: You seem to enjoy Dollhouse. I haven’t seen it. What do you like about it?
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 7:11 pm

TRWTC: Everything! Well, to start, I love the premise, the idea that these people/dolls are walking around and can be virtually anyone. Not sure if you know the premise, but the Dollhouse is an organization that implants personalities into ‘blank slate people’ known as dolls. So if you need a…. spy that knows French and also mows the lawn, you can pay lots of money and get one. Anyway, Helo goes about trying to find the Dollhouse because he feels like the dolls are still real people and by turning them into the blank slate dolls, those who run the Dollhouse are basically committing murder. You get to see both sides and I love when shows do that-you don’t know which side to be on since you see into both sides so well.
I love the cast and how the doll actors are able to play so many different roles. Being that it’s from Joss Whedon, I also love the dialogue and the characterization. Honestly, a lot of this doesn’t kick in until a few episodes into the season, but when it gets good, it stays consistently good and gets better and better.
I also love twists, and this show is full of them.
This may be the only season, so you should go ahead and watch as the season was only 12 episodes long
By Enrico, May 11, 2009 @ 7:12 pm

Oh, and I ask Craig to compare all the time. He never complies.
By Polt, May 11, 2009 @ 7:22 pm

Enrickyricardo: you could just send your photos to me for analysis. I have quite a bit of experience in dealing with what you’ll be comparing!!!

HUGS…
By Michelle M., May 11, 2009 @ 8:27 pm

john – new old car. And it was a waste of time. Thing looked like it was in a demolition derby. Or maybe it hit Mark. Did I just go to far?

Mark – so glad you are with us and am hoping you are feeling 100% very, very soon.

Snickers, that was excellent – and I totally got the SJP hat. PDTM was hilarious and if Craig doesn’t bring it back (maybe he’ll pass the torch) and it will be HTDTM.
By Ray, May 11, 2009 @ 10:42 pm

Oh, Susannah! (oh don’t you cry for me) I have a mental picture of her with her lips pursed, furiously typing, brow furrowed.

Yay, Carrie got the acorn hat!! Very good suggestion and post, Enrico. I will be looking those posts up.

Polt says “…with Craiggers as Dr. Manhattan called “Dr. Manhattan Does Dallas…” Oh, my!