1. Pour candy out of an M&M’s bag into somebody else’s hand. It’s just so awkward. How much do you pour in? If you don’t pour enough, it’s insulting and you seem cheap with your candy. If you pour too much, you each go “Whoa!” but then you never get the excess candy back. It’s a lose-lose situation.
2. Tell people the time. No, I’m not trying to keep the time from you, but reading an analog clock on the spot always freaks me out, and I always stumble as if I’ve never read a clock face before. And exactly how precise do I need to be? Will a quarter-to suffice if it’s really twenty-to?
3. Talk on the phone. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you. I will text message you till the cows come home (where did those damn cows go anyway?) but talking on the phone limits my ability to multi-task. I’m not even that crazy about instant messaging anymore. I can’t even tell you the last time I was on AIM (best screenname ever: YodaLeiaHeeHoo). The instant gratification of chatting is not something I’m willing to provide, especially when there is so much good television to be watched.
4. Laugh at your stupid jokes. If I hear “Looks like we got on the local.” on the elevator one more time, I’m going to blow my your brains out. Especially if you’re on the floor above me and you say this as you stop on my floor to pick me up on the way down. I’m terribly sorry to inconvenience you, your highness! And seriously, we’ve all heard it a million times. Be original!
5. Wait in line behind kids to get my haircut. I spend $12 on my haircut at a local unisex barber and it take about 10 minutes to do me (LOL: do me) but when I walk in and there is a mom there with her 17 children, I go insane. Sorry Mommy Bloggers! But seriously, waiting behind your kids drives me crazy. They take just as long as adults, if not longer, and they always travel in packs.
