Monthly Archives: June 2009

Star Trek: Countdown – Review

June 30, 2009
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So I finished Star Trek: Countdown in a day. It was a short breezy graphic novel that connects the dots between Star Trek: Nemesis and the new Star Trek movie. While not a terrible read, it wasn’t particularly good either, and certainly not worth the $17.99 asking price. It was fun to see members of The Next Generation crew again, but we didn’t learn anything we didn’t already know, besides one or two “Anakin built C-3PO” moments that were a bit too far fetched for my taste, and only appeared to be done because it would be cool, rather than feasible or add to the story. The artwork was flat and uninteresting and there was hardly any action whatsoever. Honestly the best part of the book, and the only one that got an emotional response from me was the afterward, written by the new Star Trek screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, who also created the story for this graphic novel:

The notion that we’d be called to serve Star Trek is something we never dared dream. This book has had particular meaning to us in that we fell in love with Star Trek through the characters of The Next Generation. The longest summer of our lives was waiting to find out how Captain Riker and the amazing crew of the Enterprise were going to defeat their former Captain, Jean-Luc Picard after his transformation into Locutus of Borg.

We don’t expect to ever feel the same level of anticipation again, but perhaps we can create some for new fans. That is the intention of this book… to take a ride with a beloved crew that no one believed would ever match the original and to pay homage to their stewardship of a thing called Star Trek. Their journey now takes us back to the beginning.

I think it affected me so much since I hope to someday get called into action in a similar fashion. Perhaps to reboot the Star Wars franchise from the dark wretched depths of awfulness? Of course that would depend on whether or not I’m too busy building my own franchise with Super Viagra and Vagina Girl.

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The Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl! – As the Night the Day

June 29, 2009
By

asthenightthedayposter

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For more Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl CLICK HERE!

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Fate of the Jedi: Outcast – Review

June 26, 2009
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So I finished Star Wars: Fate of the Jedi: Outcast Aaron Allston today. While not the flat out disappointment that the last few have been, it wasn’t nearly as good as it could have been. I mean, the premise for a great book was all there. The Galactic (I originally wrote Galactica, oh BSG how I miss you!) Alliance holds the Jedi Order responsible for the turning of Jacen Solo and all the destruction he caused, so Luke Skywalker is exiled and each of the Jedi are now shadowed by government officials. Interesting! Luke and Ben Skywalker use their exiled time to track down the places Jacen visited for the five years he went exploring before turning to the Dark Side. Also interesting!

But did all of this amount to an interesting read? Heck no. Luke and Ben spend most of their time on the boringest planet imaginable, investigating a mystery that I couldn’t care less about, that leads up to absolutely nothing. Han and Leia are given the most obscure (and boring!) side story for the sole reason of having nothing else for them to do. Hey writers, if you have nothing for your characters to do, don’t include them! Your readers could handle a Star Wars book without Han and Leia. They haven’t been interesting since the Yuuzhan Vong invasion anyway! The only interesting storyline (which was only interesting because it was the only one that included some action) was about Jaina and Jag (the only two interesting characters left in the series since they insist on killing off all the good ones for emotional impact) trying to break out a prisoner from Galactic Alliance custody.

The problem that I’m having with the Star Wars Expanded Universe lately is that the writers are so insistent upon giving Luke, Han, and Leia starring roles. And while as a non-reader, you may think that statement is blasphemous, if you read The New Jedi Order series, you would know how right I was. It was the NEW JEDI ORDER series. It passed the Star Wars torch onto a new generation of interesting and exciting characters. But with the Legacy of the Force series, they reverted back to the same characters who have run their course. They need to leave the older generation back at the Jedi Temple and let the new characters grow and expand the way they did in The New Jedi Order. Otherwise they’re gonna end up with a series full of stale 80 year old characters, and no readers.

Next up is the graphic novel Star Trek: Countdown, which connects the events of Star Trek: Nemesis with the latest Star Trek movie.

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Let’s Start an Oscar Campaign: Leonard Nimoy for Best Supporting Actor!

June 24, 2009
By

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What is Oscar buzz? Where does it come from? Who is to decide who gets it and who doesn’t? Every summer there is inevitably a summer blockbuster movie that garners Oscar buzz even though it is far from the typical Oscar fare. People thought Christopher Nolan would get nominated for Best Director, or that Wall-E would get nominated for Best Picture. But these nominations didn’t happen. Oh yes, some of the blockbusters manage to get a token nomination. Heath Ledger had Oscar buzz even before he passed away and The Dark Knight came out in theaters. But these incidences are few and far between.

So far, none of the Summer movies this year have generated any false hope Oscar buzz. Well maybe Up, but it’s pretty much a given that it won’t be nominated for Best Picture, but will win Best Animated Feature. I mean, how could Wolverine not be generating Best Picture buzz? It’s a travesty! I kid, I kid. But let’s face it, Oscar buzz comes out of nowhere. It’s like this made up thing that the studios create to collect even more buzz for their movie. But they don’t really care about the nomination itself, they just want the buzz to boost ticket sales.

Well screw them!

I say we should grab the bull by the horns and create some buzz ourselves. The person I elect to generate Oscar buzz for is Leonard Nimoy. Did you hear they’re already talking about nominating him for Best Supporting Actor for his portrayal of Spock in Star Trek? No? That’s because they’re not. I’ve searched the internet high and low and nowhere has anyone even dared mention that he should get nominated for an Oscar. Is it because he’s undeserving? Or is it because the Hollywood media hasn’t told us there was buzz for him?

So what we need to do is start putting this idea out into the world. If you have a blog, do a post about it. If you’re talking about movies with your friends, throw in the possibility of Leonard Nimoy getting an Oscar nomination. If people don’t believe you, you can tell them you heard about it on a big time Hollywood website. I mean, if Hollywood says it’s buzz, it’s buzz, right?

But I’m not just doing this to make some statement against Hollywood or the buzz creating machine. I really do think Leonard Nimoy should get nominated and if we build up enough buzz, the thought may enter the social atmosphere and the minds of those ridiculous Academy voters. Here are some reasons why I think an Oscar nomination is not only deserving, but possible:

Leonard Nimoy IS Star Trek: He may never have had first billing, but Leonard Nimoy is the epitome of Star Trek. The hand salute that he devised himself has become a symbol of the franchise to the point where the entire cast of Star Trek gives the salute at red carpet events, regardless of never playing Spock themselves:

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Shouldn’t the man responsible for creating and carrying the franchise trademark all these years get the most Academy recognition when it comes roaring back to life on the big screen? Everyone I talked to is ecstatic about Leonard’s involvement and performance in the latest Star Trek movie. Of anyone they could have brought back, Leonard Nimoy was the man for the job. And who’s favorite line isn’t: “Since my customary farewell would appear oddly self-serving, I shall simply say good luck.”

A Short and Sweet Performance: The Academy loves these types of performances! The shortest performance time to win a Best Supporting Actor Oscar was for Anthony Quinn for about nine minutes as Paul Gaugin in Lust for Life. Judi Dench won an Academy Award for about ten minutes of screen time as Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love. Hell, Anthony Hopkins won Best (NOT SUPPORTING) Actor for his role as Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs with a mere sixteen minutes on screen. And you can’t tell me Leonard Nimoy’s performance wasn’t as good as Alan Arkin’s in Little Miss Sunshine. I mean, did Alan win just because grandpa was a heroin addict and that’s supposedly edgy? Come on! Just like these previous winners, Leonard Nimoy made the most out his limited screen time and gave us all the wise Vulcan we’ve known and loved all these years, but in a way that is relevant and exciting in this new generation.

You may just say that those nominations only happened because these people were highly regarded in Hollywood and in the Academy. So that’s why I present the following point:

Street Credibility: Everyone knows the Academy likes to stick with the same usual suspects. James Spader, anyone? How about anything directed by Clint Eastwood? Well did you know that Leonard Nimoy was nominated for an Emmy every season of the original Star Trek series? The Academy loves him! They just haven’t had enough reason to nominate him for something lately. Now’s their chance!

The Sentimental Nomination: And lastly, I pull out my final card. It’s a bit of a last resort sucker punch, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Was The Departed really Martin Scorsese’s best job directing? Or was it just because the poor man was let down so many times in the past? Let’s face it, Leonard Nimoy is 78 years old. How incredible would it be to give him his first Oscar nomination so far into his career? It’s exactly the type of stories Hollywood loves! I know I’d need a tissue box on Oscar night!

So what do you think? It can totally happen, right? Well I can’t make this buzz strong enough on my own though. I need your help to put the word out there. Start blogging about the possibility and get the word out there, and together we can make this happen.

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The Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl! – As the Night the Day

June 23, 2009
By

asthenightthedayposter

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For more Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl CLICK HERE!

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Up – Review

June 22, 2009
By

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Okay, so you would have gotten the next installment of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl today (I had over 20 of the panels competed!) but Dad got a margarita maker for Father’s Day, and you know how that goes. So instead you have a review of the movie me and Michelle saw this weekend — Up. It was so good! But man, oh man, was it heavy! I was pretty much crying the entire time starting from the amazing and adorable pre-movie short Partly Cloudy, to the end credits. Michelle compared it to The Notebook and I couldn’t agree more!

What are they trying to do to us? More importantly, what are they trying to do this generation of kids! The girl behind us was hysterical crying for about 75% of the movie before her Mom (finally!) took her out of the theater. You know how kids movies have scary moments that last for about 30 seconds before they start throwing pies in faces again? Well these scary moments were lasting for 15 minute stretches! But just because it was sad doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun, silly, and adventurous just like other Pixar movies because it certainly was.

But have I mentioned how sad it was?

I was trying to think of other tragic movie moments in children’s movies (the cliché being Bambi’s mom) and I have to say, I think the most tragic for me was the Swamps of Sadness scene in The Neverending Story. “Come on Artax! Don’t let the swamps get you down boy! Artax! Artaaaax!” Seriously, that was ridiculously sad. Or maybe it was when they killed Optimus Prime. I still haven’t gotten over that one. Now I know it was just to sell more toys, but that doesn’t ease the pain, in fact, it might even make it worse. What’s your saddest children’s movie memory?

Oh, and as a final note, this is the first post written on my shiny new 13″ MacBook Pro. Yup, that’s right, I’m a Mac user now! It’s a good thing I’m so superficial because right now I absolutely love it — solely for the fact that it’s so shiny and pretty — even though I have no idea how to use it. It took me about 20 minutes to make the top header you see there. And why does my delete key think it’s a backspace? This is gonna take some serious getting used to.

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Why Jennifer Garner is Way Cooler than Keri Russell:

June 19, 2009
By

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J.J. Abrams is pretty much responsible for launching the careers of both Jennifer Garner (Alias) and Keri Russell (Felicity). Before Star Trek came out, and they were both promoting other projects, each of the women were asked if they would join the cast of Star Trek and don Vulcan ears if Abrams asked them to. Please compare their contrasting answers below:

Jennifer Garner:

Abrams is currently busy on another high profile project. Only preliminary casting announcements have been made for Star Trek, but Abrams always throws his regulars a bone. Garner would put on Vulcan ears for him if he wants.

“Absolutely. Anything J.J. asked me to do ever, that’s a clear ‘Don’t even worry, the answer’s yes.’ I owe him.”

Keri Russell:

Though Russell hasn’t decided when she’ll return from maternity leave, she can be confident that there will be at least one person waiting for her. ”I love working with Keri,” says Abrams. ”There’s hardly any [project] that comes around that I don’t wonder if she would do it.” What about his upcoming Star Trek reboot? Would he consider casting the former Mouseketeer as a hot Klingon? ”That’d be awesome!” Abrams says, laughing.

It might take a little convincing, though. In the park, [Keri Russell] wrinkles her nose at the idea: ”I’m not that nerdy!”

Ouch! “Not that nerdy?” Not cool Keri Russell! Don’t get me wrong. I still like her, and Waitress was a great movie, but I don’t appreciate the “Star Trek is too dorky for me” attitude! I wonder if she’s changed her tune after Star Trek became such a huge (not to mention “cool”) success!

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Wonder Woman – Review

June 18, 2009
By

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Netflix #66 – Wonder Woman – Suggested by Michelle M. (Okay, maybe she didn’t suggest it per se, but since she loves Wonder Woman so much I’ll give her credit.)

Whatever Jason Segel! I’ll watch a Wonder Woman cartoon if I want to! So DC Comics has been doing these direct to DVD movies, and their latest iteration was Wonder Woman. The last one I saw before this was Justice League – The New Frontier, which you may remember was a bit of a letdown. Now I may get a little flack for saying this, but I have to say Wonder Woman was way better than The New Frontier. The story was bigger, and yet somehow more concise than The New Frontier, and with less characters to focus on it was able to tell a more engaging story. One thing that really stood out for me was the great dialogue, which had an adult flair to it and helped earn the movie a PG-13 rating, such as the following exchange:

Ares: You seem as eager to meet me on the battlefield as you once did in the bedroom, Hippolyta.
Hippolyta: I only hope you prove more skilled in this arena, Ares.

Oh snap! There was also a great recurring bit about the word “crap”, which was also super fun. The action was also really well done, and the incorporation of the Greek Gods into a comic book story was pretty flawless and a nice change of pace from comic book movies trying to be all “real” and “gritty” lately. The voice work by Keri Russell, Alfred Molina, and Rosario Dawson was all adequate, but the real stand out was Nathan Fillion as Steve Trevor. Is there nothing that man can’t do? So if you’re a fan of Wonder Woman and cartoons, be sure to give this one a shot!

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Things I Miss About Being a Kid:

June 17, 2009
By

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Dear Adulthood. You suck big time. Like, major suckage. Here are the things I miss about my childhood:

1. Summers off. Can you imagine having the entire summer off? With zero responsibilities whatsoever? You could get up and eat your bowl of cereal in front of the television while watching cartoons and The Price is Right till your heart’s content. Then you get to high school and suddenly you have a job, and even though you’re off from school, it only means that you can work more hours serving crappy food to the scum of the universe.

2. Legos! Seriously, I had the most awesome Lego castle when I was younger. Like, if you think your Lego castle was awesome, I can guarantee that mine was ten times more awesome. And no, it wasn’t one of those that you bought in a box and put together by following the instructions. It was one I made myself full of my own imagination and secret rooms and hidden doorways. There was even a village! With a baker! And hidden under the oven was a secret entrance into the castle! I would spend HOURS tinkering with that castle. Could you imagine doing that these days? Who has time anymore?

3. No Dating. Remember when everyone outside your circle of friends was icky? But soon puberty hit and you wanted to tap every ass in sight and our lives have been crap ever since. Now we go on dates and chances are if you like the person, they assume you have the bubonic plague and are never heard from again. Did I mention that’s the lesser of two evils? Most of the time the dates are so bad, that their only redeeming value is that they give you stories to tell your friends.

4. Eating whatever you want. This was a luxury I was able to enjoy until recently. Even throughout college my 6 foot 4 frame held a mere 170 pounds. These days I’m pushing 200 and I may or may not have a muffin top.

5. Ignorance was bliss. Terrorism? Politics? STDs? We were clueless! I hardly knew the Persian Gulf War was even going on! And it’s not like I was four years old at the time. I was nine! And I will never forget the time our health teacher had us read silently to ourselves about erect penises being inserted into vaginas. Shudderz!

What do you miss about being a kid?

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A Mountain of Knowledge

June 16, 2009
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When we’re born, we’re given a bucket and sent up a mountain. While we’re climbing this mountain we meet people along the way who upon meeting us, pick up a handful of dirt from the ground and put it into our bucket. As they release the dirt from their hand they teach us something. The lessons at the base of the mountain are the basics we learn growing up. “Two plus two equals four,” one will say as they empty their fist. “Treat others as you would want others to treat you,” says another.

And as you climb this mountain and you get older, and you grow, the lessons become more complicated. “Life isn’t fair.” “People only say ‘life isn’t fair’ when they require your life to be unfair.” “Never buy an Apple product without checking tech blogs to make sure a new version isn’t coming out in a month.” And we continue to climb the mountain and the lessons become even more complex and timely. “A lot of countries hate each other and the people who started it are long dead.” “People on the news like to yell a lot, trust yourself and your opinions.” “Wear a condom.”

But eventually you reach the top of the mountain with all your lessons in your bucket, and you empty that heavy burden on top of the mountain. You take your place on top of the fresh earth and wait for the next generation of climbers to pass your way with their buckets in hand. Now it’s your turn to place a handful of dirt in their bucket. What you teach them is up to you, but it is your responsibility to make this a taller, stronger mountain.

Each generation’s bucket is bigger than the last because the mountain is ever growing and there are more people to meet and lessons to be learned along the way. Because of this, with each passing generation the mountain gets harder to climb, but when you get to the top, you’re standing on an even greater wealth of knowledge and experience. And while the lessons you learned along the way may not always be exactly what you wanted to hear, the view from the top has never been better.

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