Jun
10
You may have seen these already, but Green Porno is a compilation of hysterical educational videos staring Isabella Rossellini teaching us the mating habits of various insects. Below are some of my favorites:
Bee:
Praying Mantis:
Snail:
Check out the official Green Porno site to see the rest!

June 10th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
I love these too. I think the bee is my favorite though : )
June 10th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Mmmm, Isabella Rossellini one of the sexiest women on the planet. I loved her in Death Becomes Her.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
John, yep, she defined how to wear a necklace in that movie.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
bernd: YAY! Someone else who has actually seen that movie! “Keep your ass handy.” “Now a warning… *NOW* a warning!?!” And my personal favorite: “I’m a girl!” Love that movie.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
John, my quotes may be a little wobbly but: ‘She’d go to the opening of an envelope” and Madeline’s and Helen’s nicknames for each other: Mad and Hell.
I also remember Merryl’s transformation in front of the mirror fondly.
As Merryl comedies go I prefer ‘She-Devil’.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
My anus would be on top of my head…unfortunately.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Well, I have seen Death Becomes Her but it was a long time ago, so no quotes. I love her too. Those are hilarious.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Death Becomes Her is a GREAT movie! I fell in love with Isabella Rossellini because of it! And my love for her has only grown now that she’s humping insect puppets.
But seriously, anybody who hasn’t seen Death Becomes Her needs to see it right now.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
First time a saw Isabella was in Blue Velvet. That was such a creep-fest. And a naked Kyle MacLachlan (or so) did not make up for all the weirdness. But I still loooove that song, especially when she sings it.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:59 pm
I think I too would die without my penis, just like the bee.
HUGS…
June 10th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Okay, these things are just a smidge less weird than Blue Velvet…but if any of them had Dennis Hopper in them, then it would surpass Blue Velvet.
Death Becomes Her: “Do you know what they do to soft, fat, bald Republicans in prison, Ernest?”
BWAHAHAHAHA…
June 10th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Polt, only a smidge less. Of course I started commenting without having watched the vids. Now I have and wish I hadn’t. Gay sex seems positively wholesome compared to what is going on in the insect world. Maybe if a snail had someone else’s anus over her head, she would not complain. As long as it were squeaky clean, I wouldn’t.
June 10th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Gay sex?! VOMZ! Where’s my wedding ring?!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
The phrase of the day is sequential hermaphrodite.
June 10th, 2009 at 11:24 pm
josh, is the wedding ring supposed to protect you from gay sex? Btw, it is completely enough to use an enema, you don’t have to induce vomiting to get a clean ass
June 10th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I want a husband!
Boo waiting!
June 10th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
bernd: I’m not sure, but I think vomiting is a good way to protect you from gay sex. …well, maybe not ALL gay sex. There are freaks out there, and then there are FREAKS!
HUGS…
June 11th, 2009 at 12:01 am
Lol. Yeah, these vids are pretty funny.
I haven’t seen Death Becomes Her. I’ll add it to my loooong list.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:14 am
Holy Crap Batman, that was funny.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Jay Brannan is coming to LA! I have to call the box office tomorrow because convenience fees and processing surcharges amounting to 60% the listed ticket price is outrageous.
June 11th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Oh wow, those are gold Jerry! GOLD!!!
June 11th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Only someone with pure awesomeness like Isabella could have pulled these off so well. She rawks out.
June 11th, 2009 at 1:17 am
I posted the bee one a couple of weeks ago, don’t remember where I first saw it. I absolutely love her, though. And yeah, the animal world is pretty kinky. Season 2 is most excellent, too. I especially like the whale one.
June 11th, 2009 at 1:26 am
When you mentioned green porno at first I thought you were going to talk about this, but Isabella is better by far!
Loved Death Becomes Her! “Look at me! I’m wet!”
June 11th, 2009 at 7:58 am
Okay, I know this likely won’t surprise anyone but I have the book “Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to all Creation” by Olivia Judson.
Here’s a couple of sample questions (written like Dear Abby): My name is Rob and I’m a bedbug. I’ve read that if I have sex with my friend Fergus, he’ll deliver my sperm when he next has sex with Samantha. Is this for real?
I’m a spotted hyena, a girl. The only trouble is I’ve got a large phallus. I can’t help feeling this is unladylike. What’s wrong with me? Can anything be done? Signed: Don’t Wanna Be Butch in Botswana.
Then the answer goes on in a combination of science/Dr. Abby. It really very funny and for those who love biology and animal sex its a good read.
June 11th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Never heard of the book, Tam, but it sounds like I’d enjoy it. I’ll keep an eye out.
I too (everyone stay calm) saw and loved Death Becomes Her. Shocking, I know.
I haven’t seen the second batch of Green Porno yet but I read somewhere that the shrimp one (or maybe it’s the squid one) is supposed to be really good.