Jun
17
Dear Adulthood. You suck big time. Like, major suckage. Here are the things I miss about my childhood:
1. Summers off. Can you imagine having the entire summer off? With zero responsibilities whatsoever? You could get up and eat your bowl of cereal in front of the television while watching cartoons and The Price is Right till your heart’s content. Then you get to high school and suddenly you have a job, and even though you’re off from school, it only means that you can work more hours serving crappy food to the scum of the universe.
2. Legos! Seriously, I had the most awesome Lego castle when I was younger. Like, if you think your Lego castle was awesome, I can guarantee that mine was ten times more awesome. And no, it wasn’t one of those that you bought in a box and put together by following the instructions. It was one I made myself full of my own imagination and secret rooms and hidden doorways. There was even a village! With a baker! And hidden under the oven was a secret entrance into the castle! I would spend HOURS tinkering with that castle. Could you imagine doing that these days? Who has time anymore?
3. No Dating. Remember when everyone outside your circle of friends was icky? But soon puberty hit and you wanted to tap every ass in sight and our lives have been crap ever since. Now we go on dates and chances are if you like the person, they assume you have the bubonic plague and are never heard from again. Did I mention that’s the lesser of two evils? Most of the time the dates are so bad, that their only redeeming value is that they give you stories to tell your friends.
4. Eating whatever you want. This was a luxury I was able to enjoy until recently. Even throughout college my 6 foot 4 frame held a mere 170 pounds. These days I’m pushing 200 and I may or may not have a muffin top.
5. Ignorance was bliss. Terrorism? Politics? STDs? We were clueless! I hardly knew the Persian Gulf War was even going on! And it’s not like I was four years old at the time. I was nine! And I will never forget the time our health teacher had us read silently to ourselves about erect penises being inserted into vaginas. Shudderz!
What do you miss about being a kid?
June 17th, 2009 at 5:32 am
LOL, can empathise with you on 4 completely!
June 17th, 2009 at 5:53 am
#1 Definitely summers off. Days at the beach or playing outside until it got dark – no adult responsibilities or stress. Now summer just means hot weather.
#2 Your castle sounds fantastic. You’re right – who has time for toys these days? Well other than designing for your Project Runway Barbie, of course.
#3 Dating sucks – so glad I’m not out there.
#4 I miss my childhood metabolism, too. I think I might miss that the most.
#5 Unfortunately, you don’t have to be a child to be ignorant and clueless.
I also miss the innocence and magic of childhood. Santa, fairy tales, birthdays, trick or treating, thinking you could be whatever you wanted when you grew up.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Oh yeah, and energy! That disappeared along with my metabolism.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Being able to make wild claims with absolutely no evidence to support them, like “my dad is a monster truck driver” or “Santa Claus got stuck in our chimney and we had to call the fire brigade to get him out but they couldn’t come so my mum had to go up and pull him out in her slippers”. Life was so much more exciting when you could make shit up.
June 17th, 2009 at 7:26 am
Sven: I had forgotten how this was totally possible before. When there was no accountability, and there were no *laws of physics*, worlds were created and destroyed in our minds alone.
Elaborating on #4,
Cloud castles, pew-pew lasers, winged horses, sudden snowstorms, alien planets, magical swords and golden crowns could be constructed from nothing more than couches, pillows, cardboard paper and anything at hand. Each day our world was in crisis, but each day a brilliant plan, us, or some fantastical hero embodying all the heroic qualities we aspired to, would swoop in to save the world in the end.
Now that we’re adults, I seem content to let Hollywood manufacture these stories for me. Good books become a luxury because there isn’t enough time. And save but a few movies here and there, the stories seem to lack the lustre of our own childhood imaginations.
June 17th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I miss the Superfriends from the 70’s, I also miss that I didn’t mind the fact that it was so cheesey.
I miss the motorcycle rides my dad used to take me on. of course putting a motorcycle helmet on my big mellon head with the skinny little boy body was quite funny.
I also miss School House Rock, I still sing “Conjunction Junction” in the shower.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TQByv_xkuc
BTW, when I read muffin top, I thought “mmmmmmm, muffing top”
June 17th, 2009 at 7:51 am
Oh! I miss this one too!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWYmEICNgOQ
June 17th, 2009 at 7:57 am
I would like to add: Ice Pops, blowing on dandelions, “staying up past your bedtime”, and being allowed to have stuffed animals and not be looked at strange. Fear of the dark meant someone would give you a night light, and being sick meant you got to stay home all day watching The Price Is Right* and eat ice cream and ramen noodles. Someone ELSE folding socks and doing the dishes. Also? Being barefoot all the damn time. le SIGH.
*Side note? How can Drew Carey POSSIBLY compare to Bob Barker? I mean, REALLY.
OH! And legos. Damn I miss me some legos.
June 17th, 2009 at 8:18 am
After school specials! They were so much fun. And public service announcements like the classic “We’re Not Candy” commercial (which I still sing to Patrick). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xayd1c0wtOE
June 17th, 2009 at 8:33 am
I miss Saturday morning cartoons. I work Saturdays now, so I can’t see them, but even if I didn’t work, I wouldn’t WANT to see them. I miss the Saturday morning cartoons that were NOT just half hour advertisements for some company’s toys. I mean Josie And The Pussycats. I mean the Shazam/Isis hour. I mean the Bugs and Daffy Cartoon Hour! And yes, Paul, I mean Superfriends! My GOD they were awesome! Not so much now, true. But back then, it didn’t matter that every adventure took place near the ocean so Aquaman could play along. And School House Rock! Do I need to say more?
HUGS…
June 17th, 2009 at 9:01 am
I miss having 3 weeks off at Christmas. 3 weeks to do nothing but get more and more psyched about the holidays! When you’re an adult, you have to spend those 3 weeks shopping and getting more and more stressed about the holidays. And I’m with Michelle, I miss my old metabolism too!
June 17th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Hi, Mr. Contrarian here again.
I don’t miss my childhood on the whole. I was miserable most of the time. I was picked on constantly, so I lived in fear of going to the playground or of any social situation that extended beyond me and perhaps one other trusted friend.
My summers were never off because my folks shipped us off to summer camp as soon as we were 5 years old. No sleeping in or watching cartoons. I only accomplished that in snippets on weekends and after school. That transitioned into jobs quickly.
There wasn’t much blissful ignorance either. As a Jew in a mostly Christian neighborhood, I understood “different” and “other” pretty quickly. Also, we Jewish kids got the Holocaust and terrorism thrown at us early on in Hebrew School so the horrors of world violence were already in my worldview by 4th grade. As a bonus, I learned about hypocrites in 3rd grade during the Nixon re-election campaign. I was reviled by classmates because my folks were voting for McGovern, then a year later those same kids were fiercely against Nixon and would accuse anyone they disliked of being a Nixon fan.
It wasn’t all hell all the time, but if a Geni showed up and said he could let me relive childhood again I’d turn him down.
I will say that my metabolism has remained high so, while I am generally careful about what I eat, I can slam down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s on a rare occasion and all I have to deal with is the sugar headache.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Paul: I have two words for you: Interplanet Janet. I’m also a big fan of the Noun is a person, place or thing song. Blossom Dearie, who sang a few of those tunes died recently.
David: I hope you adulthood is better!
I miss summers in the pool, there were days we would be in the pool from 9AM-9PM. Less responsibility was nice and a faster metabolism was nice too.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:33 am
What do you mean, MISS childhood? I’m still a child at heart.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:47 am
1. I’ll have summers ‘off’ as a professor!
2. That castle does sound amazing. Did it get torn apart? What happened to it?? It sounds like a ’story’ blog entry.
3. Hmm…. Well I’m single too, like many other commenters…. Maybe it’s a Puntabulous curse…
4. No comment.
5. Claro que si. But on the other hand, I’m glad to be more aware of the world at the same time. And way to channel Josh. JoshSpeak really iz contagious.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:51 am
The castle is currently torn apart and in a bucket in the attic. When I get a house I’ll be turning my basement into a Lego playland. Kinda like those people who have model trains in their basement. But with Legos.
I just HAD to throw the Z in there. It’s fun!
June 17th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Riding my skateboard.
That’s it. Just riding my skateboard. Nowhere to go. No one to see. Riding a skateboard was an activity in and of itself. Just me on the corner doing every trick imaginable (including “staying on the board”, “riding off the curb”, and “riding up the curb”). Back and forth, up and down the street for hours. No siblings to beat on me, no neighbor kids to taunt me, just me and my skateboard.
Luckily I have kids now and can play with their toys from time to time =)
June 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
There are certain aspects of childhood I miss, though as long as I am able to keep doing things that I enjoy, it’s hard to say that I really miss my childhood.
I do miss playing around outside. I lived on a dead end street with a nature trail nearby, so my group of friends and I would be outside nearly every day playing some game or other in the woods. I can’t even remember the last time I built a snowman.
What I really miss are the game shows. I was a huge game show junkie growing up and could watch them hour after hour. The new ones just don’t compare.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:59 am
FDot: “Dumb Dora was SO Dumb”
Audience “HOW DUMB WAS SHE?”
BWAHAHAHAH….loved Match Game.
HUGS…
June 17th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I grew up on a farm so all summer I had pretty much free reign to do what I wanted. Of course I had to help out with some stuff (god I hated picking peas) but most of the time I was footloose and fancy free.
But things I specifically miss, not only summer time things:
1. Hanging out with my friends and exploring the woods.
2. Jumping into the straw piles behind the combine in the fall with my cousins
3. Driving around the “neighborhood” with my friend Carla on my cousins’ dirt bikes.
4. Popeye cartoons
5. Eating fresh raspberries until I thought I’d burst
June 17th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Re: old cartoons. I get Teletoon Retro and it is what I mostly watch if we are going to watch cartoons. Superfriends is on there, along with Woody Woodpecker (another of my childhood faves), TONS of Bugs Bunny, along with Spiderman (who doesn’t LOVE that theme song), Smurfs, Fraggle Rock (which I never really liked), Flintstones, Jetsons, all the classics. Although I think there should be more Hanna Barbera, like Yogi and Huckleberry Hound.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Craig – I’m surprised you aren’t building those Legos Star Destroyers or AT-ATs
June 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
The words “pretend like…”
June 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I miss getting to spend my summer days playing in the woods. We used to make little wooden boats, dam up the creek, then once the water had gotten really high, tear open the dam and let the boats ride the tidal wave. And catch turtles and frogs and crayfish to play with. Good times.
And let me be the first to say it: mmmmm, muffin top.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:52 am
John: adulthood overall has been better. I learned how to stand up to the bullies and, hello, SEX!
June 17th, 2009 at 11:12 am
(1) My next door neighbor’s grandson and i used to play superheroes: Flatman and Ribbon.
(2) Being able to play in the yard without having to mow it.
Although I concur with David: Hello, SEX (and might I add BOOZE to the mix?).
June 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Craig: I forgot, I didn’t have many legos, but I had a ton of Lincoln Logs and they were the sh!t!
I miss the excitement around the holidays. Sure all presents are good, but I miss the anticipation of hoping I was getting and Atari 2600 and the absolute joy of getting it.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
I miss building forts in the woods! We lived in a new neighborhood so there were houses always being built nearby. We would get together a pack of kids, dress in all black at night and steal supplies from them….like wood, linoleum scraps, pipes, etc. Then we’d take them into the woods and work on forts. By the time we moved from florida we had a swiss family robinson style tree house with 3 floors and a bathroom. It was pretty sweet.
We were a major outdoorsy family. So camping in the backyard was always fun. I’d bring my clown around book and my flashlight
http://www.amazon.com/Clown-Arounds-Joanna-Cole/dp/081931059X
and get all settled into the 2 person ten with my brother….and then we’d hear a raccoon and end up sleeping in the living room.
we’d go fishing, and hunting with my dad and have to leave the house at 4am to get there at the right time. There was nothing more exciting than getting up that early to go anywhere when you were young. You could be going to the doctor, and as long as you had to get up before 5am it was exciting.
I too had legos. Over the years between my 2 brothers and I we recieved enough lego sets to fill one of those huge rubbermaid tubs. (luckily my mom loved them as much as we did so it was always easy to get her to buy them) we’d dump that huge thing in our room and each make battle cars and then crash them into each other on the kitchen floor. Whoever’s car stayed together longer, won.
I could go on all day. Siiiigh. I miss being a kid.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Oh, and David, glad to know it got better.
Must resist urge to make pedophile joke…..
June 17th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Oh and light tag! Think hide and go seek at night with a flash light. That was sooo much fun. The best part about 9 siblings was instant team of any kind. Baseball in the summer, and football in the snow.
And speaking of snowmen. We built a snowman one year in my backyard that was about 10 feet tall. That sucker was still around at Easter.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:27 am
john: I loved light tag! I thought of that immediately when someone (I’m too lazy to go back and look) mentioned playing until dark.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Okay, yeah, Legos were awesome (forgot to mention that before) and yeah, hello SEX! (and I too shall resist pedophile joke). Playing tag, man, what fun that was. And in the high school years, kick the can. God, we had people coming INTO our neighborhood just to play with us. There were like a dozen kids in the neighborhood itself, but always had liek 20 or so when we were playing kick the can.
HUGS…
June 17th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Taking off on my bike and just going anywhere, and nowhere.
Summer camp. I loved getting away from the family strife and going somewhere you could hike, swim, and make crappy friendship bracelets all day long.
Sleep-overs at a friend’s house; staying up all night watching cheesy sci-fi, playing D&D, and just generally acting like a doofus without having to worry about consequences the next day.
Oh, and playing tag, capture the flag, ditch, laser tag, etc. at night wearing dark clothes and NOT having people freak out thinking there was a gang war going on.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:32 am
What’s this Hello Sex people keep talking about? Is she related to Hello Kitty?
Anyone else play Spud?
June 17th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Are you kidding? I didn’t have much a childhood being the oldest and responsible one. Plus with my family’s problems I had to watch over my younger brothers a lot.
I love being an adult. I still do all the things I loved when I was kid — watch cartoons, play video games, read comic books — but now I can eat ice cream any effin time I want.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:41 am
No worries : ) I worry a lot as an adult, and I loved not having to worry about anything as a kid. Also walking to my favorite local bakery/candy shop : ) it was so much fun!
June 17th, 2009 at 11:43 am
M. Nico.: I didn’t start playing Lazer Tag until grad school.
Craig: I don’t think my base metabolism has changed. Being able to buy my own food and sitting in an office all day are enough to cause problems. I want a treadmill desk so that I can walk and work at the same time.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:54 am
One of the many wonderful things about having a child is that you get to enjoy stuff all over again. And I’m not just talking about watching Patrick play (which is awesome), but I get to play too. I love it when Patrick hands me the bucket of Lincoln Logs and says “I want Mommy to build a house.” He’s a great excuse for playing again.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I agree with Nicolle completely. Patrick is a blessing in so many ways including being able to watch Sesame Street with and play with. I also loved the I’m not candy and after school specials. I do miss being able to not just watch superfriends but play superfriends with Nicolle, Adam & John in our underoos.
Sorry that Craig was too young for that.
Also miss my energy/metabolism and getting vanilla ice cream cones from Mister Softey.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
There was a time that I would have agreed with you you but I think becoming a parent has changed that for me. Making sure that my kids’ childhoods are as good or better than my own has become my most important mission. But not only that, I have found it quite enjoyable.
For instance, when you are a kid you hear the saying, “it is better to give than to receive” and as a kid you think, “NO WAY”. But as a parent, buying cool gifts for your kids and putting them under the tree on Christmas eve night is one of the greatest joys. Making sure that your kid is not the only one on the block without a razor scooter is a solemn responsibility. Working hard through the Summer so that you can afford to send your kids to some pretty cool day camps during the Summer (Karate, Gymnastics, etc.) is totally worth it.
Being a parent also curbs some of your love of toys especially toys that have hundreds of tiny pieces that get everywhere and make huge messes like LEGOS. Having two daughters, Polly Pockets and Littlest Pet Shop are at the top of my MOST HATED TOYS list.
Also having kids will make you really appreciate any opportunity to get a babysitter and go out and have a “DATE NIGHT” with your significant other. For us it doesn’t happen very often but when it does it’s really special.
But not to be totally disagreeable, I do totally agree with your #4 reason to hate adulthood.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Adam: I agree with everything you said, but that still doesn’t mean that there aspects of childhood I wish I could have brought with me into adulthood.
June 17th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
I was never a big fan of Lincoln Logs. I was more into Legos, Tinker Toys, and Zaks. Anyone remember Zaks?
I agree with everyone who says being an adult is better. As someone who was tormented in school, childhood is not something I would ever want to relive. But there are aspects I wish were easier to incorporate into our adult lives. And like it’s been said, it’s awesome to relive childhood memories with the next generation!
June 17th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
It wouldn’t do to mention childhood cartoons without mentioning He-Man and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They were awesome. I think my parents still have a ton of action figures from both shows.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Craig: We had Zaks.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Cupcake: Those are a little after my time, but Starblazers and G-Force/Battle of the Planets (Gatchaman) were awesome! Superfriends were cool too.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Don’t worry, todays kids don’t have as much fun because everything is dangerous. No snowball fights, no awesome playgrounds, no tire swings, no Red Rover, no doing anything without knight armor. Schools and parents have banned fun. That’s my experience anyways…
And Paul, I LOVE conjunction junction. I have a rocked out version on my computer that has the fifth most listenings on my itunes. No joke.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
john: Your shows sound like gibberish to me.
Nathan: Red Rover is awesome.
June 17th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Holy crap, I had a flashback about these awesome toys we used to use in elementary school gym class. I think we called them turtles, but I’m not sure. They were flat and you had to lie down/sit on it, and you propelled yourself forward by moving the handlebars back and forth, and the cartish thing would move forward. They were so much fun! We would race them in gym class, but I can’t find them anywhere on the Internet!
June 17th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
And don’t forget Voltron, Thundercats, Silverhawks, Robotech…
June 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Doh! And of course Transformers! How could I forget that one? I mean it’s not like there is a major motion picture releasing soon, right?
June 17th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Nathan: Yes! I love those scooter things!
June 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Damn, Red Rover always hurt. There was that one huge kid who got great pleasure in trying to cause as much damage as humanly possible.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Nathan: That reminds me of the gym classes where we would play games using yellow plastic squares with rotating wheels on the four corners. I can’t see them still being around today. Too easy to run over fingers.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
John, so sad to hear that she recently died, I will light a candle for her.
Nathan, I would love to hear that version!
I am suprosed no one mentioned the “Mean Green Machine” I loved that thing, pull 1 joystick down and push the other one up and you spin out! Soooooooooo much fun!!!
BTW still singing the Lolly Lolly Lolly song, at work!
June 17th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Well I’m just a bill, yeah I’m only a bill, and I’m sitting here on Capital Hill:
Naturally, the Bill to a law song would be favorite, as I loved politics from waaaaay back.
HUGS…
June 17th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
OOOO, and I learned the entire Declaration of Independence thanks for School house rock! I can still sing/say it now!
HUGS…
June 17th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4QEzJe6_ok&feature=related
June 17th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Polt: We memorized the Preamble song in 9th grade history class.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Crap. I forgot “secure the blessings of liberty” and mixed up two prepositions.
June 17th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
In my search for a picture (don’t ask of what) I found this link which totally does NOT related to things from childhood but sounded kind of cool. I knew you guys would appreciate it.
Those clever Germans
June 17th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
We never really had Schoolhouse Rock because it is VERY American. Maybe the odd grammar one but generally no. However Mr. Dress-Up and his Tickle Trunk and the Friendly Giant with Rusty, the chicken who lived in a bag, were staples of most Canadian households.
He was a classic puppet. A plastic chicken head on some polka dot fabric. Ahhh, high tech puppety at its finest.
Rusty
Thanks to Ryan for giving me the code so I don’t get screwy giant links anymore. Mwah!
June 17th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
Now most of you will never remember this because it was only on for 4 years and only in the tri-state area.
A nice little hippie show called “The Magic Garden” the storybox was my favorite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApbGw_G0qxQ
June 17th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Tam: Don’t Canadians realize American history is important? We tried to invade you twice before giving up.
Be sure to use your newfound power for good and not evil.
Only I get to use it for evil.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Polt, Paul & Cupcake: I still to this day find myself singing “do ordain and establish this constitutioooon, fo-oooor the United States of Ameriiiica!” Love me some Schoolhouse Rock. VERB! That’s what’s happening! was a good one too.
Paul: I didn’t have a green machine, but I had a Big Wheel! I got it for one of my birthdays from my kick ass Aunt/God Mother. I rode it down the stairs, all around the yard. The street I grew up on had two hills and was a dead end, I used to ride that sucker up and down those hills all the time and hit the sand at the bottom and use the hand break and slide like 15 feet. It was AWESOME! I actually wore a hole in the back wheels.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Ryan: But we burnded down the freaking Whitehouse. I think that puts us slightly ahead in the game.
I’m always a good girl.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
burnded? WTF? So our grammar skills are weak, maybe we did need more School House Rock.
June 17th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Tam: But you have to remember grammar in two languages. You’re excused in my book (and I almost totally typed your excused…).
June 17th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
See, the benefit to today is that in my childhood if you missed Schoolhouse Rock, you had to wait an entire week, whereas as an adult, I can see the Complete Schoolhouse Rock DVD set in the store, immediately buy it, take it to work, say, “Look what I found!!!!!” and then watch 30 Schoolhouse Rocks at once. You know, hypothetically.
One I miss about childhood are Playdates, which were such a common thing throughout growing up but now people are busy and have spouses/families so it’s just not as common to invite someone over to hang out, and I usually have to pick up the house anyway. It was just ASSUMED as a kid that our rooms would be messy.
I also miss the magic of how when you lost your tooth you got a quarter under your pillow, and on your sisters’ birthday you’d find a small present under your pillow, and on Christmas morning the stockings had really been filled! I don’t remember being young enough that I didn’t know who did those, but it was still amazing to wake up and discover that Something Had happened.
June 17th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Tam:
I think you amy like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofYmhlclqr4
June 17th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Great list craig! and why doesn’t koolaid taste as good now as it did when I was a kid?
June 17th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Legos are awsome and to go with them I played with Lincoln Logs over the weekend!
June 17th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Hayden: Because you taste buds are now telling you that it should be spiked.
June 17th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Craig: before i move, can we play legos!? PLEASE!
June 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
Paul: I LOVED Magic Garden.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
While I had my share of challenges in my youth there were also some carefree days. I miss those days. I miss spending a whole summer day playing with my best friend (whom I adored), and feeling blissfully exhausted as the sun set and drew the day to a close. Those few untainted days may have been the happiest moments of my life. Things were simpler then. I was caught in the swift current of a raging river. Destination unknown, but sure of my direction. Now, in place of that river, I feel that I am in a vast ocean left to chart my own course in a bigger grownup world.
This morning I was told that I am on the verge of becoming an uncle. A whole new person is about to crawl out into this world! Obviously I knew this was coming. It all just seemed very theoretical, but now it is starting to hit me. Wow.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
YEAH! David,
Did you see the special where they said that Sherlock was made out of a fuzzy pink toilet seat cover
June 17th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
We had to watch all of the schoolhouse rock videos in Grade 10 English because the teacher decided that most of the students were incompetent. It was awesome!
June 17th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
And way to go Craig! They were Turtle SCOOTERs. I couldn’t come up with the word. Imaginary gold star. http://www.toysthatzoom.com/bmz_cache/5/58aa4faca1141478b3e934874512f2f7.image.209×225.jpg
June 17th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
I remember the Magic Garden! I actually saw them at a live show when I was a kid. I also remember Romper Room. The host, Mrs. Molly, actually lived in my town. We used to see her at the town pool.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Romper Room!!!!!!!!!!!!! that bitch never said my name at the end!!!!
I believe that Paula and Carol still tour!!! can you believe!! I would love to go but have no small children to take, and kidnapping one seems like too much trouble.
June 17th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
Chris D: Congrats on the soon-to-be-unclehood. That is a big responsibility; it is your duty to teach the kidlet all the things that parents can’t. Things like how to make farting noises with their armpits, how to spit properly, how to make a potato gun, etc.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
The Magic Garden was one of my favorites growing up. They just played in my hometown a few months ago and yes, I did go (that made the second time in two years) There were a fair number of other nostalgia seekers there so I didn’t stand out too much.
Paul, David, Chris: Did you ever hear your name sung in the Hello Song?
June 17th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Paul: How come the Brits were pink? I thought there were a couple of lines at the end which were rather amusing:
“We’re gonna elect a president, he’s gonna do what the people want.” Oh really, when were you going to do that? Anytime soon?
“We’re gonna run things our way, nobody’s gonna tell us what to do.” Oh well, you’ve mastered that one.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
Tam: One thing that you need to know about Americans is that we have a deep-seated fear of the King of England barging into our homes and taking over. Since there is currently no living King of England, we are forced to grapple with the even more terrifying nightmare of a zombie king.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I had no logs and no legos but I had something called Tinkertoys. They were kind of cool and came in a tube/can thing.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:39 pm
We had Legos at home and Tinker Toys and Lincoln Logs at Grandma’s.
June 17th, 2009 at 6:40 pm
Now I am thinking about why my family would call it Grandma’s place when both of my grandparents where living there.
June 17th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Paul – “that bitch never said my name” Ha ha ha ha!!!
Heather – I think it’s a little sad that kids can watch so many shows on DVD on demand. WIlly Wonka, the Wizard of Oz, the Peanuts specials, The Rankin Bass holiday shows. They all seemed a little more special because they only came on once a year.
Legos, Lincoln Logs and Matchbox cars were fun. When my brother would let me play with his. Which was very rarely, because he was a little asshole – now he’s a big asshole. But I digress. Girl toys were not as fun. I mean, how long can you brush a Barbie’s hair anyway?
I remember spending a lot of time drawing and coloring. There was nothing like a big box of Crayolas (I miss all the old discontinued colors – brick red, cornflower, maize. raw umber…).
June 17th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Ryan: Cause Grandma was the boss, end of story.
June 17th, 2009 at 7:11 pm
I’ve had the whole summer (and most of the last year) off thanks to my FUNemployment (or, technically, FUNderemployment), and it’s not as thrilling as you remember. I’m not exactly complaining, but don’t you remember those long boring days of summer when you had nothing to do and television sucked and you already beat all your videogames and your friends were away on vacation and your parents were working or busy and Al Gore hadn’t invented the internet yet?
June 17th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
ryan: I know! My grandparent’s just had their 50th wedding anniversary, and everyone was calling it grandma’s anniversary party, and this confuzzled me.
June 17th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
See I told you she never said my name, unless she said it backwards in the beginning:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSuWW-m2UzY
June 17th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
Who has time anymore???? You watch 100 hours of TV per week!!!
June 17th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
FDot: Sadly I can’t remember the Hello Song, so I don’t know if I ever heard my name. Clearly, if it wasn’t mentioned I didn’t feel traumatized.
I also watched Sesame Street, and Mr. Rogers. I remember when Mr. Hooper died. I was sad.
I also had Legos and Lincoln Logs. I never had any huge Lego sets when I was a kid, just some of the smaller sets.
I had a lot of fun playing with matchbox cars. We had a big tree in front of our house with these really cool roots. I would build roads and forts around it for my matchbox cars.
I also played with Fisher Price figures and vehicles. We had blue carpet in our house, so I pretended it was an ocean. I would use simple wooden blocks to build marine science bases. I would imagine that there was a huge storm blowing in, and use all my figures to secure everything. There has always been something special for me about storms over water. It must be the last vestiges of my sea faring roots.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Michelle M.: You reminded me of one of my favorite toys: TONKA! I had several Tonka trucks and they kicked ass.
No More Kings is a fun Schoolhouse Rock.
Tam: We’re not all bad. I actually got a really nice compliment on Americans today. We have a visiting scholar from Russia who said that she was so pleased with how welcoming everyone has been, including the public transportation bus driver. She also added that she hasn’t had this good an experience in other countries.
I did have to respond that it was very nice to hear, but that we did have a great deal to make up for the last 8 years…
June 17th, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Oh crap, I forgot! Chris D. CONGRATULATIONS! Being an uncle is great! My oldest twin niece and nephew turned 30 today. Makes me feel old as the hills, but I have a fantastic relationship with them that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Polt & Paul: Tell me you had Star Wars action figures when you were a kid. I remember getting the early bird figures set of Luke, Leia, Obi Wan, Darth Vader and R2D2.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
1. The one ting I hatez mo’ than not having summers off anymore, is hearing my teenage co-workers who work one shift a week talk about their impending vacation. Ug. Chut up! I don’t benefit from you going to the beach and eating ice cream! Booo! I once wrote a poem about reflecting on long-lost summers and how I miss playing outside with my sister and terrorizing salamanderz in the river behind our house. Enricocopterz, did you ever read it?! I think I read it during my SRS performance.
2. Legoz were hotter than Ryan Reynolds’ abs when I was a little tot. However, I was quite a fan of action figurez. Jurassic Park, Ghostbusterz and Ninja Turtles rocked my ever-fudging world!
3. After having my heart ripped out of me earlier this year and nearly dying because of it, I’ve given up on dating and have accepted the fact that no one will ever lovez me like I lovez dem and that I will die probably cold and most definitely alone.
4. I still eat a lot and my metabolizm is my best friend, but now that I am getting older, I am trying not to eat shit-fest food. I also try to go running and exercise as often as possible, just so I can impress all my non-boyfriendz (see #3) with my decent figure.
5. Ew. I still like to play ignorant and I get upset when I can’t. Student Loanz?! Rent!?! Car Insurance!?!?! BUS TICKETS?!!?!? (No) HEALTH INSURANCE?!?!??! Lamezzzzzz.
PS> Craigerz-in-a-half-shell, I lovez when tu usas mi idioma.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:21 pm
John, I do recall having this:
http://www.zianet.com/comic-booksuperstore/starwars-merch/stawars-lndspdr-w-luke-2.jpg
June 17th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Tam: Speaking of Kings, what’s with your Governor General? What does she do other than assist floundering governments from collapsing and eating raw seal hearts?
June 17th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
john – I had the Leia action figure (and coincidentally, just finished the book Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher). I remember my brother sending away for the Boba Fett action figure. And being miffed when I had to spend all my savings to buy my asshole brother this when he had his appendix out:
http://image02.webshots.com/2/2/26/6/176222606eDrmvD_fs.jpg
But I’m not bitter.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Regarding #1, friend of mine is a school psychologist. He gets summers off and I’m so jealous.
As to #2, the Legos, just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can’t play with lego.
June 17th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
josh, regarding #3: You make me laugh and cry at the same time.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Ryan: She looks freaking hot. That’s what. LOL Ummm. She goes to weddings and funerals of other heads of state. She runs around our country making people think the government cares about them. She gives out awards. She officially meets new ambassadors in a special ceremony I have prepared notes for but never been privy to due to my lowly status on the totem pole. She hosts a tea party at her house every summer and a winter festival in, well winter. She signs off on laws although I think everyone would faint if she ever said no. She talks to the queen now and then. That’s about it. Oh and she looks hot. Did I mention that? Too bad her husband looks like this. He frightens me.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Well crap, the scary picture didn’t work. Try THIS.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:26 pm
Paul: I totally had one of those too!
Josh: Keep the faith, there really is someone out there who will love you right.
Michelle: How many siblings do you have? What did you get all the good and he got all the ass?
June 17th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Tam: MROW! She is quite lovely.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
John: Michelle got all the class.
June 17th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Tam: Now what didn’t I think of that?!
June 17th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Tam: Ack! What a terror.
Josh: yeah, I think I remember that!!!!!!
June 17th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Tam: This is a much scarier picture of the couple.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
Ryan: He looks like her Grandpa. I couldn’t eat it, but hey, people up there have been living on it for centuries and have survived.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
This is all I have to say about her husband:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4AcgjQmpsU
June 17th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Paul: FTW! That made me laugh and I needed it today.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:23 pm
Paul: Funny.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Well, with 8 kids one of us was bound to be a jerk. Yeah, Klassy with a “K”. It’s not too classy of me to call him an ass. Maybe I’ll refer to him as “difficult”.
Poor Viceregal consort. I’m sure he has a wonderful personality.
I don’t remember that turtle thing. Maybe it was after my time. I do remember playing on the Sit ‘N Spin (shut up) until I wanted to throw up.
June 17th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
Paul: I had that speeder too! I was such a Star Wars action figure slut, you name it, I had it. That is until this tool of a kid across the street destroyed most of the vehicles and buried everything else in the empty field down the street
At least now I get to buy all the cool stuff for my kids to play with 
June 18th, 2009 at 1:54 am
I had an Erector Set that I thought was pretty cool, along with the Legos and Lincoln Logs.
Singing and dancing to Saturday morning cartoon themes with my sisters.
The Brady Bunch and all those silly Krofft Brothers shows (HR Puffnstuff, who’s your friend when things get rough?) And Chispirito.
No crisis was too big not to be solved by a bowl of rocky road with Grampa.
Snow days.
June 20th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Ladies, what about Barbie? Enough said!
And TMNT – before they re-vamped them, and they sucked ass.
And lets not forget how it’s totally ok to have really bad taste in music when you’re a kid. When you grow up and still have that same bad taste in music (which I know nothing about) you get a ton of shit for it! (that’s just what I hear from a friend).
And though I might get a ton of crap for this one, I miss life before cell phones.
Also, eating ice cream cones in the summer heat and letting it drip all over my face ( wait, I still do that…)