Puntabulous

Just Sign the Damn Thing Already!

signingheader
Let’s say you have something that needs to be signed by all departments at work. Just a standard form that is routed around the office for signature. I hate when you have those people that are like “I need to be last.” It is declared like a proclamation from the mountaintops. “I am the most important person here!” Um, really? I don’t think so. You will be in whatever position I put you in and you will like it. You can’t even bring it to them and say “Oh, Person A is busy, I figured I’d get your’s in the meantime.” No, because they need to see Person A’s before they write their own.

People don’t do this because they’re higher up on the organization chart. By all means, the head of the company should be last. I completely agree with that. But some people think they should be last (or near the end) because their department function is more important than others, and therefore us peons need to sign before they will even think of signing because they are way too busy and important to deal with such things until everyone else is certain that it should be signed. We can be the same level in the corporate chain, but they think they have more authority because of what they do and it drives me crazy. And the thing is, you can’t force a person to sign. They withhold their signature as a show of power.

But I also think they do this out of fear and lack of confidence in their own job. If they insist on signing last they can see a list of ten other signatures and be pretty assured that those ten other people checked everything out and that it all seems to be in proper order. They’re so unsure of themselves that seeing the other signatures gives them a sense of security. It’s like they’re worried about signing too early for fear that someone will see their signature and be like “Oh holy fuck! This is so wrong! Why did you sign it when you shouldn’t have?!” Meanwhile, the only people that go crazy like that are usually the same people that do douchey things like withholding their signature, so they should have nothing to worry about.

PEEVES | Craig | October 28, 2009 7:36 am

29 Comments

By Hayden, October 28, 2009 @ 8:28 am

I totally understand where you are coming from. You need to get back in spades at those a-holes in some super villain devious way….
By jere, October 28, 2009 @ 8:28 am

Hmm, I was going to wait to comment until after I saw what Enrico had to say, but…

You are far too patient if you put up with that. I would find ways to embarrass them by bringing it up in a general staff meeting. But I tend to make enemies easily through office politics.
By James, October 28, 2009 @ 8:29 am

Post a “Free Cookies” sign up sheet near their office. I bet they’ll want to be the first to sign.

Then you can just attach that to the official document.

When they ask about the cookies, tell them they need to be last to get them, because they’re so important. Then wink. Slowly.
By David from Brazil, October 28, 2009 @ 8:30 am

That was a bit confusing for early morning reading, but I get the basic gist of it. Boo coworkers! Luckily I get to work with my father (that took some using to and it’s still not perfect) and my boyfriend (yay).
By Mel, October 28, 2009 @ 8:49 am

*blink, blink* This is a completely foreign concept to me. Completely.
By Tam, October 28, 2009 @ 9:05 am

Our’s are pretty good at signing when it’s their turn, we never have lateral signings, only hierarchical, BUT … How many friggin’ time do I need to remove and add the same bloody comma, colon, etc. Person A goes “I think it should read “However, we would prefer”" then Person B goes, “I think it shoud read “We would prefer, however”" Arrgghhh. Same bloody thing people, same thing. Just sign it!

Thanks for the opportunity to vent Craig. It’s everywhere. Cookies might be an incentive. I might try it next time.
By TwoPi, October 28, 2009 @ 9:07 am

Wouldn’t it all go faster if the person at the top signed first? That way, everyone lower on the org chart would know what was expected.
By john, October 28, 2009 @ 9:34 am

My favorite moment was completing an online policy manual and presenting it to the organization and having a director question one of the policies I was reviewing even though all of the directors had already read and signed off on the policy content. As it turned out, the Executive Director then printed out all of the policies and made sweeping changes to some of them saying they were “too bureaucratic”. When it was pointed out by my director that she had been given these months before, she responded with “It was overwhelming to read them all at once.” and now wanted us to make the changes.

Way to cut me off at the knees. Thanks!
By Tam, October 28, 2009 @ 10:00 am

John: My weirdest was we were doing brochures for something and the big boss said “That yellow is too bright, get me some other choices” so the printer sent us some alternatives and he looks at them and goes “I like this one.” Which one did he pick? Yep, the exact same color that he hated a week ago. LOL Oooookay. Whatever you say even though everything has been delayed while you spent time picking the same color.

That’s why they are paid the big bucks huh?
By dcm, October 28, 2009 @ 10:55 am

Wait, you mean Craig isn’t powerful enough to do things by Argyle Fiat?
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 10:58 am

I’m so glad that I don’t have to deal with that. As long as my adviser is happy and my computer is working, I’m good. Of course, I may get a taste of bureaucracy when start working on advancing to candidacy.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 10:59 am

dcm: Right. Can’t Craig just whip out the Puntabuschlong and say “Behold my magnificence, worship me, and sign this paper?”
By dcm, October 28, 2009 @ 11:01 am

I think worshipping the Puntabuschlong on company grounds might violate a few policies. Not that Craig doesn’t do it in the bathroom on breaks anyway. :-p
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 11:29 am

The beauty of the plan is that if it works, no one will call HR or their lawyer, and even if they did, Craig could just dazzle them into submission.

The rub is that if it doesn’t work, Craig would also not have to worry about collecting signatures, and not in a good way.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 11:35 am

Now I want to see a video of Craig reciting that quote. I suspect watching him trying to say it with a straight face would be amusing.
By joshistrashy, October 28, 2009 @ 11:45 am

I’d just sign first and then forge everyone else’s sigz. Fuzz ‘em.
By David, October 28, 2009 @ 12:04 pm

I’m with Mel, I had no idea this kind of thing existed. At best I need two signatures on anything I send out and those two don’t care who signs first.

I guess being an impoverished non-profit employee has some benefits after all.
By M. Nicodemus, October 28, 2009 @ 12:20 pm

I hate office politics. Aren’t we all here to do a job, the best job we can for our clients, partners, and shareholders? And how does your coworkers’ petty egotistical posturing contribute to that goal? Grrr… sorry, you just hit on one of my biggest pet peeves.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 12:27 pm

It’s all about incentives. If they work their ass off and Inotech ships a few extra units, they don’t see another dime. For most people, the goal is the maximize benefits while minimize costs.
By joshistrashy, October 28, 2009 @ 1:00 pm

Kind of similar, whenever I do ANYTING @ work, mah boss always has to sign off on it. And she’s very partix so if I write a press release, I run back & forth to her office prox 10 timez to correct edits she’s made. It’s all good though…getting her to finally sign off on sumfing I wrote is the greatest feeling of validation in the world. Plus it’s a good workout to be jaunting from my desk to her office over & over. My calvez are made of steel now.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 1:04 pm

josh: I have to do something similar whenever we want to publish or submit something, but that only happens a few times a year.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 1:46 pm

It’s all dusty today. Wind + dryness explains the fire watch.
By Tam, October 28, 2009 @ 2:38 pm

Ryan: Everyone was complaining how the wind woke them up last night in your neck of the woods. Hope no fires.

Josh: Having a printer far from your desk is a good workout as well.
By The Ryan with the Cupcake, October 28, 2009 @ 3:21 pm

Tam: The wind didn’t wake me up. I did wake up to the hooting of owls.

My work related workout is not using the elevator to get to my fourthish floor office and walking to work. Walking to the printer also happens.
By Michelle M., October 28, 2009 @ 6:34 pm

“You will be in whatever position I put you in and you will like it. ” I can’t believe that statement got by everyone.

What a bunch of exasperating bullsh*t. The cookie idea is brilliant.
By Polt, October 28, 2009 @ 6:49 pm

Dammit, Michelle M., the blocker at work wouldn’t let me see this either (I have no idea why) so I couldn’t comment until NOW, but “You will be in whatever position I put you in and you will like it.” caught my eyes immediately, cause who knew our lil’ Craiggers had such a big old dominatrix…er, inside him? What a surprise.

On to the point of the post: pretty much my whole entails things that only I do, so I do need to have a superior sign off on my stuff, but I have no one else who needs to sign off on anything I do. Thank God. I got enough crappy office politics to deal with without having to get signatures from other department heads. I mean, I can’t even STAND some of the other department heads!

HUGS…
By Ray, October 28, 2009 @ 7:02 pm

So, this is not about signing a co-worker’s birthday card, I’m assuming, because that would be the worst power posturing ever.
By Tam, October 28, 2009 @ 9:00 pm

It was birthday card signing day at our office. I’d like to know who got the card because it was rambling on about “you’re not old, don’t worry about it” and the birthday girl is probably 26 or 27. If she was my age fine, but the card was completely inappropriate. So what did I do? Signed the damn thing and passed it on to the next person.
By Chris D., October 28, 2009 @ 11:44 pm

I can appreciate how frustrating this can be. I am fortunate to work for a small company. My boss is the President (of the company). He and I are able to communicate well and have been working together for a more than a decade.

Some of the companies we work with do have a lot of bureaucracy. One company is traditionally using versions of our software a year behind because it takes their IT department a year to test it. Another company actually has a “Manager of Change” that is an extra person who has to sign off on everything.

Perhaps you could develop a private list of preferred signing order as you learn about people’s issues. Put the people who easily sign at the top, and but the insecure people at the bottom. It is still a silly issue, but perhaps the next time you need signatures it may go more smoothly.