So I come home last night after a lovely dinner with Kári to find this box from Amazon waiting for me. Now I’d like to describe the events that followed with pictures and the conversation that took place between me and my Mom (Sorry Oz, now I’m just doing it to bug you):
Mom: A box from amazon came for you today. You always get fun mail. All mine is just bills.
Craig: Oh cool. But I don’t remember ordering something from Amazon. What could it be?
Craig: Oh! It’s a birthday present from Tam!
Mom: That’s so sweet! Did I mention I only get bills in the mail?
Mom: A book! How nice! Your readers are so smart and well read!
Craig: I know, right? Aren’t they just the pinnacle of sophistication? How to live with…
Craig: OMG LOL!
Mom: Oh my god! My eyes! My eyes! They’re on fire! Burn it! Burn the book immediately! It is evil! EEEEVIIIL!
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t exactly the way it happened, but it was entirely awkward opening that in front of my Mom. Thank you so much Tam! I’m so glad there is finally a book to help me cope living with this damn gift/curse of mine! I know many nights will be spent trying to read it out of Mom’s view by staying up late with a flashlight hidden under the blankets. Reading it that way will also help me admire myself while reading and taking notes.
vuboq: Only formatted prose?!?! LOL!
Yeah…. Except that a book of prose features about 343,239 words that weren’t carefully chosen, usually is not focused on rhythm and sound, can not play with form in terms of enjambment and line breaks, and a million other different reasons. Go read some Anne Sexton, please!
Craig: You should post excerpts!
Tam is awesome.
Speaking of penises:
http://jezebel.com/5398993/um?autoplay=true
Holy crap Michelle! 0_o
How thoughtful of Tam. You will have to do a follow-up post about what you have learned so that Enrico can benefit.
I am sure your mother couldn’t have been too surprised. If she ever checks out the comment section here she would see that the almighty Puntabuschlong is revered. She must be so proud that her son has a big dick on the Internet.
Michelle M.: Where the hell did you find that video?!? Oh, forget it, don’t tell me!
Hey, Craiggers, since I really know how to spend a Friday Night, I just went back and looked for the first time I commented. It was March 28, 2006! My GOD, that’s 3 years, 7 months and a few days.
I was with you before you got your current job, before you moved back home, when you still had posts with Natalie Portman, Your Wife (how is the old girl doing?), before the very first Super Viagra, and even 3 months before I started the Palace.
In fact, you may have been the inspiration for me to start it! I’m not sure if the world should thank you or curse you for that part.
And this can even be my birthday gift to you, which pales in comparison to the big penis book….but then everything would right?
HUGS, my longtime friend!
I was so excited about finding the first comment, i totally forgot when I started the Palace….that was 2005, not 2006. So I can’t blame you for that. But everything else I wrote is totally true!!! Nonetheless, have an awesomely Puntabulous birthday!!!!
HUGS…
Polt: Craig told me that his wife is living in the garage these days.
My college degree and I agree with Enrico about poetry.
that is kick-ass birthday present! Happy Birthday : )
Brilliant!
For ur birfday, I’ma buy you both Lindsay Lohan CDs…aren’t I sooOoOoo NICE [feat. thoughtful]??!
Did somebody call for a vet?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRAIG!!!!!!!!!!
Fucking hilarious! *falls out of her office chair laughing*
(The chair she shouldn’t be sitting in because it’s effin’ Sunday and even GHOD DOESN’T WORK ON SUNDAYS, and EVEN IF HE DID he probably wouldn’t be waist deep in a never-to-be-sufficiently-bedamned freakin’ nationwide DSL outage. My phone is BLOWING UP. Arrggh.)
*ahem*
Sorry.
That book changed my life!