Okay, I admit it. I think porn ads are fascinating. It’s amazing what they show and say in order to entice you to click on them. Today I have taken some of my favorites, cropped out all the naughty bits, leaving only the words. Then I added what I can only assume to be what’s waiting on the other side of those ads.
Too bad I never look at porn, so we’ll never know if my predictions were correct.
You more or less nailed it.
Oh my, too funny. I’ll be all set to do that 5th one if I buy the shepherd’s crook I’ve got my eye on.
Oh, and I loved that you even took the time to put grey belly fur on the handyman. Just for that extra touch of realism.
Love the second one. What a cute ass that guy has. And the rainbow sweater is perfect.
I can’t believe they use to GGs in banging. Too funny. Super job Craig.
Hil.ar.eeeee.ous. But, I don’t get the last one, which probably means I’m just slow.
DCM: You’re not slow, I’m just extremely clever!
The guy in the overalls is the Bottom Breeder. He is trying to breed bottoms by having them mate with each other. But since they’re both bottoms, they have no interest in mating with each other. You can tell they’re bottoms by their vibrant colors and exposed tummies. That’s what bottoms look like, right?
The past tense of ‘hang’ is not ‘hung.’ It’s ‘hanged.’
Get hook sounds like a handjob from a pirate. Ouch.
Last night on The Big Bang Theory, Raj was wearing an argyle sweater vest that not even Craig could make look good.
Craig: Bottoms look like this.
Cupcake: I thought bottoms looked like Craig wearing nothing but his leather chaps.
Now where did I put that picture?? As soon as I find it I’ll link to it.
Bottom breeders? Two twinks? Hilarious!
Enrico FTW.
Tam: I liked the ass one best as well.
I would never click through a porn banner ad. You never know what kind of nasty virus you might catch. Kind of like real life!
Even though there are no exclamation marks, I’m going to assume Enrico is yelling at me again.
FTW? More like FTD: For The Dork
My fav is #2, that guy had a really cute ass
Trust me, you DO NOT want to click on any of those ads when they pop up. Being the person who has to come and clean up the computer after someone has been to one of those sights, well… lets just say there is a reason I have a case of Unicorn Chaser in the car at all times (here is a hint: sometimes cartoon #2 above isn’t that far off.)
I wish I could take credit for the donkey, but I took a drawing of a donkey from the web and puntabulized it. It did come out pretty adorable though.
Oh yeah, and I never click on them either. I mean, we already know our favorite sources, right? If you’re clicking on ads, you’re obviously an amateur!
Craig: You’re not an amateur? Who pays you? Does this mean you have a webcam?
What self-respecting nerd doesn’t have a webcam? Shows are every night at 10.
Picard’s life sucks.
That’s really funny Ryan.
Just had a super cute encounter while at Borders to pick up another copy of The Happy Book. The sales guy was very friendly and helpful and led me right to it. Swoon.
Craig: Awwww. How sweet. Maybe he can get you discounts if you go out. Ask him out for coffee (then we’ll all get you to buy us stuff at 50% off).
Funny Ryan.
you never look at porn?
I am highly skeptical of this supposed webcam show. Do you have a wide angle lens on that camera? How in the hell do you get the whole Puntabashlong in the picture?
Tam: I’ll be sure to stop into Borders more often
Chris: Um, the last sentence of my post may or may not be a lie.
M Nico: It’s hard…that is all.
Craig: LOL!
I bet Polt is dying to comment on this thread.
This is very funny! Great post. I liked the first one best, despite the gramatical flaw.
Web cam, hmmm… Feel free to offer your loyal dancing monkies inspiration.
Wait a minute . . . .
Does this mean that I don’t have any messages from that hot shirtless guy?
Polt is probably speeding to his computer at this very moment.
I was just informed that a rotten banana was just mailed to me at my house. Covered in stamps with my name and address written on it. I’m kinda freaked but can’t wait to get home and see it.
Holy crap Craig, you have a crazy stalker. Okay, which one of you guys is it? Fess up.
Yeah, the more I think about it the more freaked out I get. It could be a silly joke, or it could be something scarier. If it’s the latter, I’m not sure Puntabulous could survive something like that. I’ll reserve judgment until I see it. But a confession from one of my dancing monkeys would be fantastic.
It wasn’t even ripe on Saturday.
Craig: Sorry to freak you out. People were talking about mailing bananas on MyLifeIsAverage, and I thought a banana would go well with your monkey.
Rotten banana?! *scrunches nose, looks up in confusion*
These are inspired, and I especially love the ass…
Ryan, I am cracking up over this! How fun!
Score one for the post office that it came intact and uneaten…
Porn?! Lame! I’d rather watch “Dreamgirls.”
One time mah friend Val & I downloaded some especially vulgar gay porn and synched Mandy Moore’s classic debut single “Candy” over it. That was 7 yearz ago and I still haven’t stopped laughing. My lungz hurt.
I don’t really have anything to add, as I don’t look at porn either. The rainbow sweater IS pretty sweet though. And I’d hate to recieve an anonymous banana in the mail, cause 1) I wouldn’t know who it’s from and that’s kinda dodgey and 2) I can’t imagine the mess when the mailman tried to squeeze it though the mailslot in the door.
Oh and Borders DOES tend to have a high percentage of hot guys working there, some of which are usually gay. I know, I used to be one of those guys.
HUGS…
LOL all is well Ryan! That is hysterical! Can’t wait to see it in person. You only gave my Mom a mild heart attack
I’m curious to see how it faired after traveling 2800 mi.
“FTW? More like FTD: For The Dork”
Glass houses, darling, glass houses.
Polt: “…as I don’t look at porn either.” I almost choked on a grape when I read that.
Cupcake: I know a few people here that would love to “give Craig the banana” they are just jelous that you beat them to it
Holy shit Ryan. That is hilarious. I can not believe the postal service actually delivered it. You probably gave workers all along the way a great story to take home.
Tam: I suspect that there has been a major increase in the number of bananas mailed in the past two weeks.
I like the rainbow sweater, donkey and the belly buttons on the bottoms.
Ryan – The banana is ingenious.
Bananas… I wonder how many sorting machines are getting “unscheduled maintenance” now. No wonder stamp prices are rising.
What’s next? Grapes? Caramel (unwrapped, obviously)? Ooooh, taffy!
OMG So much to comment on!
Enrico: Thank you for supporting my idea that you are a Grammar Nazi! I totally thought the same thing that those guys may have been hung, but they definitely have been hanged.
Cupcake: You kill me with the links and the banana.
M.Nico: Choked on a grape? If you had said banana I would have cried.
“good. dorky. fun.”
I think FTD = FTW here.