Today I welcome back my friend Shaina who serves up the hot gossip with a side of psychology.
‘She’s a tiger. She belongs to me.’”
-– Scarface
Though no one seems to know where he is, you’ve been bombarded with stills of the once media darling that couldn’t keep his club in the bag. Check out a quick round up of what some of the experts explanations are for Tiger’s behavior and then feel free to change the channel:
1. Dr. Mark Goulston, for Psychology Today considers that Woddie, er Woods’s, super human skill, focus, and occupation put him out of touch with the rest of us mere mortals and he could have a desire to come back in touch with people via vertical romps. This need combined with the “adrenaline rush seeking part of Tiger’s personality” can lead to the string of cheap cheats.
2. Psychcentral.com reviewed psychological research on cheating and found that many men or women cheat because of differences between partners like sex drive and personality, significant unresolved issues in the marriage, and of course the ever annoying possible evolutionary seed spreading ritual that counteracts monogamy.
3. Dr. Jeffrey Gardere points out that the relevance of Tiger’s perfect public image and golf skills in the scandal to CBS Sports. He says that the scandal could bring the “carefully managed public persona in line with who he really is, so he can finally break free of unrealistic expectations.” Perhaps the drive for perfection aids to imperfect behavior in the place powerful figures think they can get away with it.
4. Or like Bill Clinton, he did it because he could. Dr. Ellen Webber Libby compares the two big-time cheaters, considering that growing up with favoritism from parents can lead to feelings of entitlement and lack of responsibility for their actions.
I’m usually fascinated why people do things, but in this case I’m not sure it matters to me. It’s always hard to know what you would do in someone else’s shoes, but ultimately infidelity seems by definition anti-monogamy so the biggest message cheaters send is that the relationship is not for them. Can an adulterer change with their current partner? Does it matter if there are children? I don’t want it to be a black and white answer, but for me it feels like it is. Am I being unrealistic?
I don’t think one cheat means the end of a relationship necessarily. There can be a number of reasons why someone cheated and it’s not all one-sided often. Both partners can contribute to an environment that leads cheating. When you have 10 years and two kids invested in a relationship, it’s not as easy to just say “hit the road buddy” as it is if you are fairly new in the relationship and have weaker ties, no kids, pets, house. However I think a serial cheater is pretty hard to trust ever again. Once is a bad decision, 5+ is an asshole.
On the news today they were talking about yet two more women whose names have come up for Tiger and they said the only thing that would make this story interesting at this point is if a guy came forward. THAT would be good for some additional gossip. In Tiger’s case I get the feeling it’s #4 for him. Most of us treat ourselves to an ice-cream or a new book when we’re in the mood for a pick-me-up, he literally made a pick-up. It was easy, cheap and available.
The thing that bothers me is how trashy all the women were! You’d think that as the world’s richest athlete (and a decent looking one) he could at least have pulled some better tail.
It sounds like there’s a little Tiger in everyone.
Ugh, enough Tiger Woods please, if you need me, I’ll be jumping in the lake.
I’ve not followed the story very closely, but he sounds a lot to me like my cheating cheater of an ex. And, I suspect, like a lot of other cheating cheaters. Personally, I see serial cheating, in particular, as a form of emotional abuse. I also think that it is, to a large extent, a form of addictive behavior – cheaters get an extra adrenaline rush from doing something bad that heightens the sexual charge, so they keep going back for more.
Well, speaking as someone who has been in a monogamus relationship for over 17 years, if my wife were to cheat on me, even once, it would be over. No second chances, no ‘ we can work this out,’ nada. I am very quick to trust people; I like to think that basically everyone is a good person; but if you betray my trust, even once, I will never fully trust you again. I could never keep a relationship going where I was constantly wondering if the other person was screwing around, or lying to me; it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.
Now, before y’all think I am a total a$$#@!%, keep in mind my wife feels the same way (although she is more likely to just bury my broken, bloody body at the bottom of the duck pond.) I would like to think that if either one of us ever got to the point where we were not happy in our relationship, or if certin needs were not being met, we could talk about the problem rather than seek instant gratification elsewhere.
Oh, and I totally agree with Bradford; at least he could have picked someone other than Ms. Trailer Park 2009 and the three runners-up. Sheesh!
and of course I meant ‘monogamous’ and ‘certain.’ Gah! I should never type before I finish my morning coffee.
I would feel really bad if I were the cause of you being buried at the bottom of a duck pond. Unless it was really good.
Well, you are on my “list,” so technically it wouldn’t be cheating, just like the Mrs. gets a free shot at Hugh Jackman.
Oh, and it would be fantastic >;-)
Woo hoo!
Um . . . am I interrupting something? Should I just close my eyes and back out slowly?
This? This is what the firewall at work kept blocked so I couldn’t read it??? Ya know, two Saturdays ago, when this all broke, we had a few jokes and laughs around work. I figured that was it. but this barrage about Tiger….I’m so sick of it all. What he may or may not have done and who he may or may not have done it with concerns him, his wife, and the mistress(es). Aint’ nobody else’s business.
As for his endorsements, I have never in my life bought any article of clothing because some athlete or celebrity wore it. Nor have I purchased any product because a celebrity or athlete told me he used that product in an ad. I’m not going to change that behavior now.
People obviously don’t have enough going on in their own lives if they’re worried about this. And calling it news? PLEASE! Would Walter Cronkite have spent anything more than a passing mention on this subject? If the answer is no (and it is) them it ain’t news. Walter knew himself some news.
…ya know, I think rant would have worked better as a post on my blog. Sorry to go off here, Craiggers. >kiss, kiss< still love ya.
HUGS…
Polt: Lies! We all know you love josh now.
I am so tired if Tiger Woods in the news every day! What about the war and recession?
Um, people who are complaining about hearing about Tiger Woods too much get the point of the post right? It’s to look at the psychology of the gossip piece and open up a discussion about cheating. Puntabulous is a little too smart for “OMG did you hear about Tiger?!” We have crime fighting vaginas for goodness sake!
I’m with M. Nico (even down to the duck pond). And I agree with Mel about the thrill of getting away with something that keeps serial cheaters going back for more. I remember once watching a show about adultery on Oprah, and most of the men (I know women cheat also, but this show was about men) said it didn’t even occur to them to think that their actions would hurt their wives.
As for the Tiger Woods circus – he’s most certainly a heel, but the women are disgusting. To go after someone else’s spouse is despicable. Especially with children involved. Ugh.
Cupcake: I lust after Sassy josh. I love Craiggers.
Craiggers: I got the point of the post. It’s just I’m so sick of hearing all the gossiping about him it boiled over and spewed forth. I wasn’t complaining about your post, which I found interesting actually, but with the whole Tiger-mania.
And yet, here I continue to talk about him! Damn me!
HUGS…
I don’t know Tiger Woods very well. I’ve never hung out with him. Clearly his public image was not reflective of the reality of his being. I am just totally amazed that he got away with so much for so long.
I have never been in a real relationship. I don’t have first hand knowledge of the complex dynamics of one from the inside. I have never cheated with a person who was in a relationship. I would feel very bad and extremely guilty if that ever happened. So I don’t believe it will ever happen.
When I fall, I fall deep. I don’t really understand people who even just seriously flirt with multiple people at the same time. When I am interested in someone, I tend to feel attracted enough to that person that I am not interested in anyone else in a romantic way.
I am not a fan of the cheap throwaway shotgun flirtation that the Internet seems to have enabled insecure people to thrive off of. Though I must confess to having gotten caught up in some of that myself. When one flirts with 5 people at the same time it makes every expression of one’s intentions worth less. I would like to write more about this, but it is a complicated phenomenon, and my views are still evolving.
When I do have a relationship I want to feel connected with my partner. I want to be able to communicate about our feelings. If the relationship fails (sometimes they do), I want that to be addressed in a healthy way. Either it can be fixed, or needs to be ended. I NEVER want to be stuck in a bad relationship where a partner feels justified in cheating.
I can’t comment on the Tiger situation, other than to say that I hope he can come to understand the real root causation of his actions. I hope that both he and his wife can participate in therapy to better understand the situation. If the rift can not be mended then I hope they will be able to end their failed union for their mutual benefit and that of their children. Staying married, “for the children”, can often cause more harm than a well designed divorce.
Nothing meaningful can be built without honesty and trust. Lies will corrode and destroy everything. I already said that – if my partner (12 years, living together) asks me if he can kiss somebody else, I can deal with it (and I have). If my partner tells me he kissed someone 3 months ago and didn’t tell me, it’s over.