As I was walking to work today I saw someone who looked to be approximately my age smoking out of an old fashioned wooden pipe. He was hustling to work just like everybody else and smoking out of a pipe seemed like no big deal to him. “What a douchebag,” I thought. Yes, that may seem harsh, but it got me thinking about people who only do stuff that meet certain requirements they’ve set for themselves. Snobs, if you will. But not snobs in normal everyday life, just snobs about certain things. Examples I’ve heard in the past include:
1. Only being able to drink Starbucks and refusing anything else. Really? Dunkin Donuts coffee is delicious, stop being so elitist!
2. Refusing to go to a movie theater that doesn’t have stadium seating. Oh really, you want to drive half an hour longer to a more crowded theater and pay double the price just so you can have your precious seat?
3. Only eating sushi that is imported overnight directly from Japan. Okay, no, I haven’t really met anyone like that, but I have met people that don’t like going to a certain type of restaurant because surely it isn’t as good as what they’ve had elsewhere.
4. It’s dijon or nothing!!! I’m half kidding about this last one, put your pitchforks away.
Let’s not beat around the bush, these people are snobs. These people didn’t start out in this world any different from you and me, but they’ve conditioned themselves to only like things a certain way. I can’t be certain that the guy I saw smoking out of the pipe is one of these people (“Oh, silly child! Cigarettes are so plebeian!”) but it got the big red playground ball in the brain rolling. I tried to think of things that I can be snobby about and — not to sound all high and mighty (“snobby”, one might say) — but i really couldn’t think of any. I was joking the other day with my parents about how I could hardly make out what was happening on their television screens since their DVD players were so blurry compared to my blu-ray, but obviously I was joking and haven’t reached that level of snobbery yet. I almost never turn down going to a movie or going out to dinner due to what we’re eating or seeing, and if those decisions haven’t been made yet, I usually leave it up to the other people to decide because I really don’t give a damn.
That brings me to the question of the day. What are you snobby about? Or if you’re perfect like me (yeah right, no one is as perfect as me) what other snobbish habits have you come across with other people?
Marvel Comics…never touch ‘em. They’re not worth the paper they’re printed on, unlike DC. Naw, I kid, I kid.
I’m too graciously humble to be a snob about anything…other than those people who won’t recognize my graciously humbleness.
HUGS…
Oh great, am not a snob. We don’t have Starbucks in Kraków [but 1st SB is almost ready 2 open], I refuse 2 eat sushi & I’m always choosing the movie that am going 2 see & I don’t care much about the cinema. XD U could say that am a snob when it comes 2 buying things that am gonna use 4 a long time. My father is exactly opposite so we often have fights – he’s accusing me of always wanting the most expensive things. Example? My new LCD screen. It’s LED backlit, so it’s using less energy than traditional LCD displays & LED lasts longer than lamps. It’s 24″, so it’s bigger & brighter than my old 17″ CRT screen. Am always thinking ahead, but the only thing that my father sees is that it’s $359 which is 2 expensive 4 his liking. Never-mind that if I’d buy cheap LCD screen from some no-name Chinese company he’d bitch & moan after 2 years. ;D
I may aim 4 the more expensive things, but @ least I have the warranty that w/ a little bit higher price I get the quality & longevity.
But I kinda think country that I live in prevents me from snobbism.
I usually leave it up to the other people to decide because I really don’t give a damn.
You read my mind. I’ll eat at any restaurant. If I don’t have to cook? Woohoo.
Hmmm. I really only like to use Heinz ketchup but if I was at someone’s house and they had no name brand I wouldn’t say anything. I just don’t buy it.
Huh. Trying to think of clothing brands, make-up, hygiene stuff, and really, I can’t think of anything. There are brands and products I PREFER, but if it’s not available I’ll use something else. Maybe I only know easygoing people, but I can’t think of anything that’s made me go “god lord, it’s peanut butter, just eat the damn stuff weirdo”.
I’ll admit I’m snobby about beer. Oregon microbrews are the best, and any of the Coors or Miller junk is just sad in comparison.
Okay, I just got an email from a friend who read this post:
“Omg you’re not snobby!? I beg to differ! And I quote – “oh I can’t date anyone who lives in the city” yeah that’s right you’re a snob about who you date.”
Sigh. It’s not snobby, it’s practical! I can’t date anyone outside a 20 mile radius of me. Any distance more than that and it makes hanging out a chore. Especially people in the city because they always insist on you coming in to them. They never want to come out to Long Island. It’s the city people who are snobby and think that the city is the center of the universe and why wouldn’t I want to come in anyway?
When I was looking for bedroom furniture I said I did not want anything I had to put together myself, so I refused to go to this one store because that is what they specialized in. I searched all over and had almost everything I wanted but needed side tables, so I thought let me go see if they have something that would be close to what I had in mind. While I was there I noticed that they had some nicer stuff too, so I looked in their catalog and found exactly what I was looking for, and for about $1,000.00 less than what I was going to buy. So being snobby really didn’t work out in that case.
I’ll take a big cup of 7-11 coffee over Starbucks anyday. Hazelnut with splenda and fat free half & half if anyone happens to eading out that way.
So, Craig, would it be worse if they lived in the city and you were in Jersey?
For me it’s beer. Definitely beer. Actually, make that pretty much any alcoholic beverage. Alcohol generally gives me headaches, so if I’m going to have the pain, it had better damn well be worth my while.
I also don’t like Folger’s coffee, but I’ll drink it if I’ve got no other choice and I’m desperate. Um, and instant or ready-to-drink chai? Bleagh.
So apparently my snobbery is all beverage-related.
Depends. I think the PATH is about the same as a subway, so I don’t think that would be a problem. But if I didn’t live near the PATH and it were an hour and half train ride, then yes, still a problem.
I’ll only date men. Does that make me a sex snob? Perhaps. Oh, single men. Who are hot. Yeah, I don’t date. I get that. Sigh.
Oh thank goodness. I thought it was post denouncing money. Snob away!
Hey Craig I was going to buy you some gin as a present…is gilby’s ok?
Tam: BWAHAHAHA!! I laugh NOT at your misfortune at not dating, but rather at your statement itself. A
nd I’m clearly NOT a snob in that respect. Even though I’ll only “date” men, single is not a requirement. And at my age, even being hot really isn’t either. Hell, I only have four requirement: alive, human, 18 or over, with a penis. that’s about it.
HUGS…
Oh, and I view women wearing tube tops and spandex shorts when they are obviously overwieight AND over the age of 40 as white trash. Does that make me a snob in that respect? Or am I just being rational?
HUGS…
Jomoe: NO! IT MUST BE TANQUERAY!!!!! NOTHING ELSE IS ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!
Love you, mean it.
I hate when people absolutely have to have the latest tech gizmo like the iPhone or iPad, and they have to be one of the first to get it because they think it makes them better than everyone else……….oh….sorry…..
Polt: That’s just plain old common sense.
Oh and your little human snobbery thing just ruled out Superman AND Captain Jack. Way to go, you might want to rethink that. Humanoid perhaps would be a better term.
The coffee thing is a big one. I find the more it costs, the worse it tastes.
John: LOL! But what if it really DOES make them better than everyone else? Is that still snobby?
S: Agreed. Starbucks coffee isn’t even any good!
tam, Superman’s an alien, but he’s fiction, so I don’t care.
Captain Jack is human, just from a future century. But let’s not forget, Captain Jack is fictional as well, while John Barrowman is not.
At any rate, Gareth David-Lloyd (Ianto) meets ALL of my criteria,and is NOT fictional, so that’s all that matters in the end.
HUGS…
I hate movie theater snobbery. I don’t want to drive another ten minutes when I can’t tell the difference.
I can be a beer snob. Given that I tend to drink only a bottle or two a week, I want it to be something worthwhile.
Polt: I found someone who meets your standards.
I don’t really get sushi. I don’t hate it. I just don’t understand why many people seem to think that it is the most awesome thing ever.
I do hate it Ryan.
I love sushi, but I can imagine a small part of that just being the experience. It’s fun eating sushi!
I also just remembered that I only wear Sketcher shoes. Even my dress shoes are Sketchers. Not sure if that makes me a snob since it’s not like they’re a high end brand or anything, just figured it was worth noting.
I can’t think of anything that I am specifically snobby about. I can be a bit snobby about art, but not pretentious. I do like specific brands of things (Jif peanut butter, Nike sneakers) but that is more about preference than outright snobbery.
Tam, I lost you at hot. Damn.
how about people that ake way to many pictures?
Craig… Face it… you are a snob and this post is an ode to self-loathing that would make Bella Swan proud.
Comparing me to Bella is like watching New Moon on repeat for 5 days straight.
I’m snobby about things that are too expensive. COST MORE THAN $5?! NOT GOOD FOR ME!
I am snobby about spelling. I won’t shop at Kash-N-Karry or U-Save. If you can’t take the time to spell it right, I won’t take the time to shop there. Alright, I guess they’re just trying to be cute, but it’s not. It’s stupid.
And Starbucks coffee sucks. DD is the best!!!
I’m a cinema snob. Totally. I figure if I’m going to pay $$$ to see a flik, I want to see it in style. Older movie theaters around here have TERRIBLE seats. Sitting for 1.5+ hours in a horrible seat is soooo not cool!
*e-RAGE*
I’m also a bootleg DVD snob. The quality has to be identical (or close to) the legal copy or I won’t watch it. lol
Cupcake, just cause one meets the criteria doesn’t mean one’s going to meet Lil Polt.
Everytime someone mentions Bella Swan, i always read it first as Bunny Swan.
HUGS….
Sushi is delicious. One of my favourite things to eat, but a little too expensive for normal.
I’m definitely a beer snob. In a pinch (nothing else for miles or I’m really drunk or it’s free) I’ll drink anything, but I don’t like a lot of beers.
And bad spelling is a big problem for me. If I were looking at personals and there were too many spelling errors (doesn’t anyone proofread!) than there is no way I’d be interested.
Hmmm…What am I snobbish about. Interesting question. I must be a snob in some way. Just about everyone is. I will go to any theater, eat at any restaurant (as long as they serve something I Will eat.) I suppose I am snobbish about one thing. I am snobbish in reverse, so to speak. I see no need to spend tons of money on something because it is trendy or cool. I don’t care much about fashion, or feel any need to be showy. I would rather do things in a much more background sorta way. I will admit I do tend to look down upon people who are always trying to look up. Does that count?
I don’t like to buy generic food/store brands (unless it’s from Whole Foods). Which is stupid. But there you go.
I also don’t drink tap water.
Ugh. I think the list of things I’m a snob about is too long even for a typical Justin-length post
First off, about pipes. I don’t know if I’d call them snobby, necessarily. I’d call them Affected and Pretentious. I didn’t really do the whole Yale Preppy thing when I was at Yale — I didn’t come from a wealthy or even upper-middle-class family, and I didn’t have expensive clothes, etc. I spent most of my time reading comic books and eating pizza. After college, I wanted to make up for lost time so I took up pipe-smoking. I did so in the full knowledge that it was UNBELIEVABLY affected and pretentious, but that was part of the fun.
The rest of the fun was the rituals involved: all the little doo-dads and gadgets you need to buy, the pipe reamer (yeah, yeah, snigger), the tobacco tamper, the pipe cleaners. And it’s like having an adult pacifier. Plus, pipe smoke is *WAY* too hot to inhale so really all you can do is suck it into your mouth and try to learn how to blow smoke rings (I blew a few but never got good at it).
I gave up on pipe somking when I realized it left a horrible taste in my mouth, made my saliva black, and made me light-headed and nauseous. Wasn’t worth it.
Cinema snob? You bet. If I’m paying to see a movie out at the cinema, I’m going to insist on: a) an actually big screen that doesn’t look the size of a postage stamp (if it’s a first-run movie and they have it in more than one screen, I’ll *ACTUALLY* call the cinema and ask them which showing is playing at which screen and will only go to the biggest screen); b) actually good sound: a lot of the smaller cinemas don’t have decent sound so you lose half the experience. I saw Inception at a smallish cinema and the sound was lousy — I had seen the previews at a Stadium Seating cinema and I knew the sound int he previews was TEH AWESOME so I know I missed out; c) yes, Stadium Seating. Because that way even if a tall person sits in front of you, you can see over them. And yes, I will drive out of my way for it, though since I don’t live in the suburbs, it’s not any 20 miles.
I’m a *HUGE* snob about suburbs. Sorry, but they are soul-crushing wastelands. I prefer not to live in the middle of a city; I prefer living on the outskirts of a city so you are close enough to the action and have decent public transportation, but far enough out that you can drive out to the country quickly. My employer moved from the city out to the suburbs — 25 miles away — and people have asked me why I don’t move to the suburbs to be closer to work — plus the houses are so much cheaper. I would rather have red-hot needles driven under my fingernails. Yes, I do consider myself superior to suburban people.
Food. I am a *GIGANTIC* food snob. I don’t eat at chain restaurants like TGIF. I like fancy-schmancy pizza that has things like beets and goat cheese on it. I won’t eat chicken or pork unless it’s organic / antibiotic-hormone free / free range. The list goes on and on and on. I am a foodie (look at my belly — it can’t be any surprise) and I am a snob about people for whom food appears to be nothing but a way to stay alive as opposed to one of life’s greatest pleasures.
I’m a beer snob. I think I made that clear at the pool party
I’m not much of a wine or liquor snob. I don’t care whether the wine is more expensive, whether it’s French, or whatever. I just care if I like the taste. I don’t buy smirnov, but I’m happy with Stoli instead of Grey Goose or whatever.
As Adam has made clear, I can come across as a smug know-it-all; *THAT* I don’t intend. I went on a date the other day (yes, a real live 3-dimensional human date) and although I don’t think we’ll be seeing one another, he did say one nice thing: he said we all need to lead with our strengths, and my strength is my intellect, so it’s natural I should want to lead with it. I still think it can be very off-putting and I don’t mean to be (and frankly I’m not that smart). He also said that to call anybody from “one of the epicenters of smugness in America” smug was funny (I explained that the person who did so was from New Jersey so of course he said “oh, well that explains it”). And by the way he said the other epicenter was Berkeley, CA, which I agreed with.
I’m an HDTV snob. If a show is on both HD and SDTV I get really annoyed if Lisa tivos the latter and doesn’t get the former on the HD DVR.
I’m sure the list goes on and on. Though honestly, Polt, give it up on the Marvel thing. They were great once.
(As for “only drinking Starbucks” — WTF?! That’s like saying “I only eat my fast food from Burger King!”)
I <3 Suburbs. Cities are soul-crushing wastelands.
*sigh*
I don’t drink coffee, I don’t eat sushi, Mustard is the devil, I don’t smoke, I don’t eat meat, I don’t eat eggs, I don’t eat dairy … I guess I’m a snob about what I don’t do? If given the choice, I’d drive further to go to a theater with stadium seating, digital projectors and better sound, so maybe I am a movie theater snob. Oh well — deal with it!
I don’t think being vegan makes you a snob. Not liking mustard (or not liking any food) doesn’t make somebody a snob. I just think it’s a shame when people won’t try something new or they assume that something they hated when they were 18 is something they will always hate. I used to hate mushrooms and spinach and brussel sprouts and all kinds of seafood and now I love them all (except shellfish, which I still can’t stand; the only thing other than shellfish I hate is eggplant I think). I like acquiring new tastes (I used to hate opera and jazz for instance but now I love them.) But it doesn’t make you a snob if you don’t like something, does it?
And Craig — yeah, Manhattan is pretty harsh. I don’t think I’d call it soul-crushing: it’s very exciting and vibrant and alive, but it’s also very crowded and claustrophobic-feeling and the subway is filthy and hot and gross. I much prefer Chicago, which has big skyscrapers but much wider streets, so you see the sky, and a lakefront that is much more part of the city than any of the Manhattan waterfronts are a part of NYC. But I prefer smaller cities like Boston even more — they *are* super-boring compared to NYC. Nothing is open all night, and when you come back to Boston from a place like Manhattan you feel like you’re in peoria. But they have a lot of life and culture and are very livable. I just need to be around people and around public transportation. I really do get a sensation of existential nausea when I visit suburbs… They make me anxious and empty inside. Though I do admit that your part of Long Island is kind of neat. It has a bit of a “lived in” feeling because I think much of it must predate WWII unlike most American suburbs.
I’m a snob about Justin writing extremely long comments!
I knew that would come sooner or later. In fact I was shocked your first comment didn’t say anything mean to/about me at all!
Cities & suburbs are okay to visit, but not so much to live in. Been there, done that. What’s really soul-crushing, though, is being too far away from the ocean. I shall never be landlocked again.
Agree with you 100% there, Mel!!! It’s why I left the midwest!!!!
Nathan V, you spelled “then” wrong…..just saying……
John – I thought that kind of smug pedantry was supposed to be *my* job?
I’m happy to have you usurp the title, though. 
On the subject of sushi, I pret-ty much don’t do the raw fish thing. I only do vegetarian maki (occasionally I’ll do maki with crab in them).
I do agree with anybody who might say that sushi is overpriced and you don’t get enough food for what you’re paying for. (Which is generally true of Japanese cuisine.)
But for me, what’s fun with sushi (or rather, maki) is the whole *RITUAL* of it. Putting a little bit of that nose-clearing wasabi in the dish. Pouring on the soy and mixing it up. Dipping the maki in the soy/wasabi mix. Cleansing the palate with pickled ginger. It’s fun!
Michelle M.: I don’t drink tap water either. When my roommate and I first moved in together, he asked me what the tap water was like. I then realized that despite living in San Diego for a year at that point, I had no idea.
What *do* you (Ryan) and Michelle drink? I drink Brita water but sometimes I wonder if I’m deluding myself. After all, who knows, the plastic in the pitcher may be leeching something into the water that’s worse than whatever comes out of the tap. If you don’t clean them often enough, they could get mildewed or whatever. They don’t get rid of lead, which is the worst thing that comes out of most taps in older neighborhoods like mine.
I think I would like to have one of those under-the-sink triple-pass systems with reverse osmosis and everything. But that will have to wait until the kitchen gets remodeled (ha!). So for now I drink Brita water whether it’s good for me or not. Even the dogs and cats get Brita water.
I prefer not to drink bottled water, except for the sparkly kind. But I don’t drink too much carbonated water — it’s not really good for you (saps your phosphorus or something according to my doctor) and I never drink soda (or “pop” as we used to call it in the midwest, or “twanic” as it’s called here in Boston). Especially not the aspartame kind. I’m a *HUGE* snob about sweeteners. Sugar, honey, maple syrup, agave nectar — those are sweeteners. Aspartame and saccharine and the like are just gross.
Haha, I would spell something wrong when complaining about spelling. I give up.
Justin – why would you want to know what I drink? I live in the suburbs. Durp.