Okay, who cares if Cocky and Rude did something similar yesterday? Michelle M is amazing and I’m thrilled and honored to be presenting another one of her incredible guest posts! Merry Christmas everyone!
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web,
Not one mouse was clicking, the blogs were all dead.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that our hero soon would be there.
Elves Kimi and Kristen and Mush and M. Nico,
Heather and TwoPi, Dave2 and joshrico,
Up at the North Pole were all super busy,
The hustle and bustle had all in a tizzy.
The commenters* were passed out on top of their beds,
While visions of simians danced in their heads.
* Disclaimer: fictionalized commenters not as attractive as in real life.
And I in my argyle and Nat with her gun,
Had just settled down for some sexytime fun.
When out of the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
It was Ryan with cupcake all covered in batter.
Away to the window I flew like the wind,
Impressive as I was quite tonic and ginned.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave lustre of mid-day to the stalker below.
When what to Polt’s purply eye should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and nine hot, studly queer.
With a little round driver, so horny and blue,
He was more colorful than Tam’s shoulder tattoo.
More rapid than ninjas his men how they flew,
As he whistled and whipped them and kept them in queue.
Now Fdot, now Vuboq, now Paul and Chris D.,
On Jere, on David, on Mel and Mikey.
And to ensure a gift went to each child, sir and madam,
The team was led by the bright red glow of Adam.
And then on the roof was a hullabaloo,
Of the prancing and pawing of each little shoe.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney S.V. came with a bound.
Virile and cocky from his head to his foot,
His cape was all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
I was awed and amazed by the size of his sack.
His eyes how they twinkled! His smile so red!
I think that his body was also his head.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his eyebrows were colored the brightest yellow.
His chubby was plump, a right horny old pill,
And I lol’d when I saw him, he gave me a thrill.
He whipped out a list that he had to check twice,
To see which commenters had been naughty or nice.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He filled up my stocking; then turned with a jerk,
And laying a finger aside of his stiffy,
He rose up the chimney as quick as a jiffy.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a fluffing,
And away they all flew with much huffing and puffing.
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Razzle Dazzle to all, and to all a Good-Night!”
