Puntabulous

This weekend we went out to my Aunt’s beach house in Southold on the north fork of Long Island. She wasn’t able to use it this weekend so she offered it up to us. It’s a great little house:

And it’s only a hop, skip, and a jump to the beach.

Check out that view!

And that shower! You haven’t lived until you’ve showered (naked!) outdoors. It’s just so liberating! I’m sure Polt has pictures. He wasn’t there, but you know how they say sharks can smell a drop of blood in a square mile of ocean? Well he can smell naked bloggers within the entire continental United States. Hawaii and Alaska if there’s a strong breeze.

It’s not a vacation if Dad isn’t asleep on the couch with a book in his hand:

The next morning I made my awesome mimosas. I say they’re awesome, but they’re ridiculously easy to make. That’s the only way I’d be able to make them. But Amanda taught me that if you add a dash of raspberry liquor it adds a nice touch! And it does!

And then I proceeded to drink most of them by myself while still in my pajamas! Mom made bloody marys, but I think mixing alcohol with tomato juice is a total waste of perfectly good alcohol.

Dad wore the shirt Michelle got him, which reads “Yet, despite the look on my face, you’re still talking.” If you know my Dad, you’ll know it’s perfect for him.

Here’s Mom, Amanda, and our cousin Ronnie:

Amanda and our Uncle Ernest:

Now you can’t go out to Eastern Long Island without visiting the vineyards, so here are me and Amanda with our cousins Amy and Kim who were out touring the vineyards for my cousin Gail’s birthday. Aren’t we a good looking family? We’re even better looking when we’re looking at the same camera.

Here’s Gail and her five (FIVE!) girls:

Here we are tasting wine. By the looks on our faces, I’m pretty sure we’re just waiting for the guy to stop talking so we can taste the wine.

Here’s a cute one of Mom and Dad:

And one of us sitting outside:

Amanda and our cousin (and one of her godchildren) Spencer:

I like this picture of me and Amanda:

And another cute one of Mom and Dad:

And me looking studly (do I ever look any other way?) out by the vines. The sun was in my eyes, which explains the fake “please just take the picture already” smile on my face:

That night we played cards. One of the games we played is called “Screw Your Neighbor” which involves trading cards blindly with your neighbor and trying not to get the lowest card. Anyone who has ever had the dubious honor of sitting next to me knows that I always get dealt low cards so if they need to trade with me they are doomed. By the smile on my face I have a feeling I just screwed my neighbor.

A fun weekend was had by all!

Well I’m back! Jenn, Robin, Aaron, myself, with special cameo appearances by Nishita had an amazing time in California. And now I have a crapload of pictures to share with you all! Click on the smaller ones for larger versions.

Firstly, here is what got me through the 6 hour flight:

Here’s our hotel room. We stayed at the Doubletree in Berkeley. It was right on the marina and gorgeous.

One of my first priorities was to drink an Anchor Steam beer, which is made in San Francisco.

After dinner we went to the top of Indian Rock. It had amazing views of the surrounding area and we stayed until sunset, which was gorgeous.

Then the next day we walked and walked and walked all over San Francisco. The hills were just as ridiculous as they look on television. I’m pretty sure I don’t have love handles anymore.

And then we went to tourist central, otherwise known as Fisherman’s Wharf, and we saw, heard, and smelt the sea lions on Pier 39.

The next morning me and Robin went for a walk around the marina back at our hotel. The squirrels in Berkeley are way more friendly than the skittish ones we have here in New York.

That afternoon we met up with Robin’s cousin who got us tickets to the ballet in San Franciso, which was awesome. Afterwards (apparently that’s not a word, but I’m keeping it) Robin and Jenn went to dinner with Robin’s family while me and Aaron wandered San Francisco some more.

We climbed Coit Tower, which gave us an awesome view of the entire city:

And then we had dinner at a place called The Sausage Factory.

Which could only mean one thing: We were on Castro Street! It was such a great area, with a fun vibe and loads of good restaurants and bars.

That night we went to QBar, which had these television screens all around the walls that you could text message and have your messages appear. It’s supposed to be a way to flirt (gays are so passive sometimes) but it allowed me and Aaron to have some fun:

We were the ones sitting in the corner, but we were also the ones who sent that message. Guess which one I sent next:

Did I mention Aaron was wearing a “Tour de Queens” shirt at the time?

And then I sent this one:

But then it got responses so I got scared and we stopped. Please note that only in a gay bar would a flirting television screen include a shout out to someone’s gucci bag.

And then this one popped up, but no one knew Aaron’s name, other than the German guy (with the most ridiculous hair I’ve ever seen in my life) we were talking to at the time, so they must have been talking about someone else, but it was still funny.

The next day we went to Muir Woods and walked amongst the redwoods. It was all very Lord of the Rings. Aaron may or may not have sang Into the West for a portion of the hike.

Apparently I have the wingspan of a bald eagle:

Then we went to Stinson Beach, which required driving down these ridiculously windy roads around the Pacific coast:

Last but certainly not least we went to the Golden Gate Bridge, which was incredible. Growing up around New York City, and constantly using the bridges in the area, I was still shocked at how enormous and beautiful this was.

We asked this lady to take a picture of the four of us, and unfortunately her stupid friend ended up in the picture with us. Oh, and a bit of her finger too. Geez, way to go lady.

But with a bit of cropping, they’re both gone, and it’s a really nice picture.

Fshew! As you can see, we fit a lot into those few days. It was such a blast and truly felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I have the best friends any guy could ever ask for!

Tam emailed me this morning to say that she forgot to give me a present she had for me when we hung out on Tuesday and asked if we could meet up so she could give it to me. I was confused at first because I thought her presence was present enough, but who am I to turn down an additional present?

So she got me this awesome Canada t-shirt and a bottle of Kittling Ridge Icewine & Brandy, which looks super delicious and comes in this long skinny bottle that is way classier than I am, especially considering that I want to make a pervy joke about long and skinny. I don’t know what I did to get such amazing readers, but you guys continue to rock my world. Thanks Tam!

So last night I got together with reader, commenter, and friend Tam, who was in town with her daughter for the week. She’s renting an apartment in the city and offered to host me for a lovely dinner. I know, pretty awesome, right? How come you don’t offer to cook me dinner? Bastards. Anyway Tam is just as awesome in person as you would expect from her consistently hysterical comments. And her food is mmmmmmm!

We had an amazing time chatting, eating, and talking smack about all the other Dancing Monkeys of Puntabuland. And have I mentioned her daughter Kristen? Because she is adorable and I want to put her in my pocket so she can cheer me up during the day. Wait, do teenagers like being called adorable anymore? What’s the word these days? Rad? Gnarly? Oh goodness, I’m so out of touch. The desserts were my responsibility, which of course explains the store-boughtedness of them, but they turned out to be yummy too. Thanks for a great night Tam and Kristen!

Now on Sunday I’m meeting up with the utterly luscious VUBOQ and we’ll be attending the fantastically talented David’s show The Sorcerer! Woo!

My godson Matthew on Easter Sunday 2009

I just got woken up by my nephew Jack who pointed out the window and said “Come on Uncie, it’s wake up time!” So I’m up.

Here’s wishing you and your family a very Happy Easter!

I wasn’t able to finish the post I started yesterday in time for today, so I all I have for you this morning is a picture taken this past Saturday. Some of you might have already seen it on Facebook, but in case you haven’t, here it is.

We were dogsitting my sister Amanda’s dog Ralphie. He can be completely adorable when he isn’t being a yappy pain in the butt, and this was one of those times. He’s a maltese, about five years old, and completely deaf.

So this house got sold out from under my feet. And by “under my feet” I mean, I still can’t afford anything more than a refrigerator box, and I just admired it from afar (via the internet) but felt me and the house had a kinship unlike anything else the world has ever seen, even though I never saw it in person except when I creepily drove by it five times moving three miles per hour. But that’s in the past. Here is my current house of obsession:

I even saw it in person this time! Inside and out! Because my new thing is to go to open houses because they’re fun and give me lots of ideas for what I could potentially afford millions of years down the line when houses are obsolete and most people are living in underwater bubble cities. But isn’t it gorgeous? The hardwood floors are so shiny! And you see that picture with the bed? And that other picture with the rocker? Those are both the master bedroom. It’s huge and would be perfect for my office! There are also two more bedrooms upstairs and that room with the red furniture is an addition they put on in the back and it’s super private and cozy. But if I had it I would paint it a darker color to make it even cozier. And there’s even a totally finished basement! Oh, did I mention the pool? It has a pool. The only bad thing is that the back yard is up against a highway, but who goes outside these days anyway? And the owners are leaving their 4 built-in air conditioners so I wouldn’t even have to open the windows! But there’s still that little thing about not being able to afford anything. So I’m thinking that I’ll buy it and rent out all the rooms I won’t need to Puntabulous readers and we’ll set up webcams all over the place and start a naughty website to offset the costs. THE END.

If you’ve ever wondered where I get my unfortunate sense of humor from, look no further than the song my grandparents used to share: Please Release Me by Engelbert Humperdinck:

If my grandmother called my grandfather while he was out, he would play this song on the juke box and hold the phone up to it. The lyrics read: “Please release me let me go. For I don’t love you anymore. To waste our lives would be a sin. Release me and let me love again.”

Needless to say, many years and seven children later, they were still crazy about each other.

I am very proud to introduce the newest member of the family, my brother and sister-in-law’s new baby boy: Ryan Andrew, born this morning at 8 pounds, 9 ounces, 20 inches, and seriously adorable: