Puntabulous

THE END.

So I come home one day to find a small box on my front steps. “What a nice box!” I thought to myself.

But one can never be too careful so I had my bomb-sniffing snail Argyle check it out to make sure it was safe.

When he deemed it safe, I opened it up to reveal baked goods! And lots of them!

And not just any baked goods! Super Viagra and Vagina Girl baked goods! Seriously! Look at them! They are incredible! From the M&M eyes, to the Fruit Roll-Up capes and the Twizzler arms and legs, these cookies are a work of art!

They were so cool, I almost felt bad eating them! Almost.

Yum! Who knew Super Viagra would be so delicious?!

Wow! It’s a party in my mouth and Super Viagra is invited! “Wait your turn Vagina Girl! I’ll get to you in a minute!”

Yummy yummy in my tummy tummy! Say “Hi” Super Viagra!

But wait, something isn’t right.

Oh no. I don’t feel so good.

Oh god! No! They’re poisoned!

And then I died. Seriously. Did no one teach me not to eat food sent to me from strangers in the mail?

Okay fine. I’m not really dead. These spectacular and delicious (and not at all poisoned) cookies were the work of my favorite people Ξ_Heather and TwoPi from the blog 360, and of course their trusty sidekick Godzilla. They took some pictures of the cookie making process which they were kind enough to share:

Frankly, I’ll eat anything that has cream cheese involved.

When Godzilla isn’t mixing chaos and destruction, he’s mixing ingredients with his mixer of death.

A far cry from the flattening of cities he’s used to. But today he’s using his powers for good, not evil.

Godzilla would just like to clarify that just because he likes to bake, it doesn’t make him any less of a huge scary monster.

I can only assume that Godzilla used his radioactive fire breath to bake the cookies.

And only the delicate grace of Godzilla could decorate these cookies so precisely.

So yeah, these cookies are amazing! I can’t thank Ξ_Heather and TwoPi enough for their incredible present! The time and thought that went into these cookies is staggering and I’m honored that they would go through the trouble for little old me. Thank you very much guys!

Teach Me Something Tuesdays will be back next week. Today I will show you some vacation pictures! As you know me, Robin, and Jenn went to Providence, Rhode Island for Memorial Day weekend.

They must have known we were coming.

Our first day in Providence can be summed up with the phrase: “Which hotel did we book ourselves at again?” So here is Robin figuring out that very question.

Here I am posing for a “candid” shot while Robin figures out where we’re staying. We both have our uses! Robin figures stuff out. Craig looks pretty.

And Jenn is the sensible one. Just not in this picture.

Here I am walking down the river that runs through Providence.

And what do you know! Aaron ended up meeting us there the next day!

The gang is all together! This was on Saturday night, when Providence held the Water-Fire event.

They lit over 100 fires down the middle of the river and played music and it was really pretty.

Here’s Robin and Jenn.

Me, Aaron, and Jenn. I’m not sure what emotions we’re all trying to convey, but I’m pretty sure they’re all different.

And I had lots of fun taking nighttime pictures with my new camera.

Lots of fun.

The next day we spent in Newport, Rhode Island.

Here I am as the kids say: “maxin and relaxin”. Wait, the kids don’t say that? Oh.

Here’s Robin breaking all the rules.

Here’s Jenn playing with a monkey.

We walked the trail to the top of some cliff by the beach. Here I am up top (LOL: top).

Here I am after I took some magic potion and towered over all the tiny mortals.

We found this tree that Aaron thought would be fun to climb. Here he is trying get up.

Then Robin tried.

Then Jenn tried.

Then Robin tried again.

And here they are. These pictures don’t really show the amount of energy it took to get on that damn tree.

Then we asked a passerby to take a picture of the four of us. But we didn’t want him to have to wait 20 minutes for me to make my way up there so I just stood there.

The End.

I took this picture yesterday after a particularly long and craptastic day. I was going to write a post detailing how miserable I was feeling, but opted to drink beer and browse youtube instead (hence the post below). Plus I figured I’d be feeling better today because I have the attention span of a flea and I never stay sad for very long, so if I posted a post about how miserable I was feeling, it wouldn’t make any sense because by the time you saw it, I would be feeling better, which I am. But I never pass up an opportunity to post a picture of myself and my philtrum is looking quite prominent, so here it is.

So as you may remember, I went to Pennsylvania two weekends ago to attend the christening of my godson Matthew. Here are some pictures from the big day!

This is me and Matthew that morning. He only looks so serious because he’s nervous. He’s having trouble remembering his lines. And no, you may not bite his cheeks. That privilege is reserved for the family.

This is me, Matthew and my sister Amanda. You’ll see plenty more pictures of her when we go on our cruise to Bermuda at the end of July. Chances are we’ll both look ridiculously sloppy, so enjoy us now while we look reasonably put together!

Here’s Grandpa and Jack, Mathew’s big brother. He’s very excited. So is Jack.

This is me dressing the baby for the big event. And by “dressing the baby”, I mean “standing awkwardly behind the godmother Stacy while she does all the work, then swooping in at the last minute to help with the buttons because she just had her nails did.”

Here’s the happy family. As you can see, Matthew was being completely uncooperative for the pictures. The nerve! We considered just leaving him home.

Here we are outside the church. My nieces Emily and Jillian are burning off some energy. Jillian, the younger of the two, is also my goddaughter.

Here is an expertly taken picture by your’s truly, which actually allows there to be photo evidence of my Mom being in attendance since she’s usually the one taking pictures. I helped her pick out her outfit! She wanted green, but I demanded blue, since Matthew is a boy and not Shrek. And there’s Adam who hasn’t updated his blog in FOREVER (hint, hint).

This is where the magic happens! I had to stand a few feet back because for some strange reason the water kept boiling everytime I got closer.

This really nice nun pulled me out of the crowd to help her with a special job because she said I looked “really close to God.”

Or at least that’s what I’m pretty sure she meant when she pointed at at me, and said “There’s a tall one!” Apparently I was the only one tall enough to light the candles for the priest. On a related note: could you imagine if I had this enormous bald spot that I didn’t know about until I saw this picture? I would die.

Here I am looking very proud of myself for my special tallness skills and a job well done. I’m also counting the bonus points I get for helping out and how much they raise my chances of getting into Heaven.

This is how we dye Easter eggs in my family:

Spongebob and Super Viagra say: “Happy Easter Everybody!”

Here’s wishing you and your family a happy and healthy Easter from Puntabu

lous!

A lot of bloggers enjoy blogging about their dogs. (I’m looking at you, Bossy and Scott!) I don’t have a dog, and as you may already know, I’m not much of a dog person. However, there are times when I find them tolerable. So here I present you with my brother and sister-in-law’s dog Harley, one of the nicest dogs in the whole wide world. So even when he’s being super annoying (usually only because he confuses himself with a lap dog) you can at least say: “But he’s such a good dog!”

He is enormous. My mom calls him an albino deer. Did you know there really is such a thing as an albino deer? Me neither. (Unless you said yes, which in that case, you’re lying.)

He is a very interactive pettee. He likes to hold/lick/bite your hand while you pet him.

Petting him above his butt sends him into NSFW convulsions of pleasure.

He is ridiculously protective. He guards his little brother when you try and take him on dangerous sleigh rides. He’s usually too protective though and he runs along side you down the hill until he gets a bit too eager in his guarding duties and you crash into him. His left ear is straight while his right ear is permanently floppy.

And he loves to play catch. Even with snowballs.

Here’s to you Harley. You annoy the crap out of me sometimes, but you’re such a good dog.

Question: “Hey Craig! I didn’t know you wear glasses. What made you wear them today?”

Answer: “Hi [insert name here]! It’s because I have this enormous pimple on the side of my nose that I’m trying to hide! Thanks for asking!”

RELATED:
Puntabulous is an Oily Mother Fucker: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5.

Heather from 360 - The Math Blog sent me these awesome pictures of Godzilla enjoying some Buffalo Chicken Dip.

These pictures are so awesome, I’m considering changing 14 Giants to Fourteen Giants so she can have the top spot on my blogroll. Thanks Heather!

So I gave you folks a recipe to cook for your Superbowl parties and asked you to send me pictures. And people actually listened! How crazy is that? Here goes:

This is the one from my brother and sister-in-law John and Barbara. I have to say, this looks the most like mine. But then again, they have the benefit of calling me up and asking for specific amounts for the ingredients. Apparently my recipe was a little vague? Plus Barbara is a woman Italian, so she was born to cook. I kid, I kid! She really is an awesome cook.

This picture comes from Brett over at A Whip-Smart Kind of Life. He made the dip, but didn’t take a picture of the finished product, and instead opted to send me a picture of the wine he drank while eating it. He’s making a point about drinking wine without ice, because apparently I’m the worst person on the face of the planet for putting ice in my wine. Okay Brett, I see your point. Buy me a box bottle of wine, and I’ll drink is without ice.

The following pics come from Tim over at I Deny You the Nidus!

T-Shirt #1. In honor of Puntabulous and my Mickey Mouse ears he wore a Disney hat. How sweet!

Another reference to me drinking wine with ice! Seriously! It caused quite a stir! He doesn’t drink wine and was too lazy to go about actually fixing a drink, so he put the ice cube on top of the Coke. Excellent.

T-Shirt #2. The finished product!

T-Shirt #3. Here he is admonishing the dip filled chip to be tasty yet not so hot as to hurt him, blissfully ignoring the fact that the dip filled chip is not a sentient being and therefore incapable of rational thought.

Success! I imagine that his right hand is in the form of a gun as he pretends to be a bandit from the Wild West shooting his gun up in the air in celebration after a successful bank heist. In conclusion: 3 T-shirts, 2 different colored potholders, 1 dip.

These next pics come from Derek over at Never7 and his boyfriend David from Croxis:

Here is Derek studying the geniusness of my blog to better immerse himself in my recipe.

Here’s David spreading cream cheese like a man who was born to spread cream cheese. (Although I’m sure he has many other talents.)

Their bottle of Franks Hot Sauce looks SO MUCH BIGGER than the one I used. And since my (slightly vague) recipe called for the “whole bottle” that may have caused some confusion.

But it looks like it came out really good!

Here goes!

I’m pretty sure this is Derek’s “Mmmm, that’s delicious! God bless Craig for giving us this recipe!” face.

Thank you guys so much for sending in your pictures!