Would it kill the universe (or multiverse) to send me someone to sing this freaking song to me? I love it.

Avenger: Iron Man/Tony Stark
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: He’s gotten around, so you know he’s gotta be pretty good. Plus the man loves gadgets, so I’m sure he has a few toys that would work wonders.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: His conceit can be a bit much and you don’t want him staring in the mirror the whole time. Plus Jarvis interrupts every two seconds to make sure Tony is okay. Frankly, I think he gets jealous.

Avenger: The Hulk/Bruce Banner
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: If you don’t think he’s man enough for you, just get him angry and he’ll be all the man you want him to be.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: Except he’ll probably tear apart your insides in the process and chances are you’ll die. But man, what a way to go.

Avenger: Captain America/Steve Rogers
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: He is pretty much the embodiment of perfection, and you just know he’ll put your needs in front of his.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: When is good too good? He may be the man you bring home to mother, but something tells me his skillz in the bed may be a little lacking. Plus he’ll probably make you wait till you get married, lame!

Avenger: Thor
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: He’s the god of thunder for goodness sake! Who couldn’t use a little thunder in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. Plus you can pull on his luxurious mane.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: Like Tony Stark, he can be a bit conceited. Plus you could get turned off when you don’t see the same passion in his eyes that he has when Loki is around.

Avenger: Hawkeye/Clint Barton
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: The man with the best aim in the world will surely hit your g-spot perfectly every time.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: It started off kinda funny, but now it’s just annoying when he shouts “Bullseye!” as he cums.

Avenger: Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff
Why She’d Be Good in Bed: You know that thing she does when she wraps her legs around your neck and takes you down to the ground? Yeah, picture that naked.
Why She’d Be Bad in Bed: Something tells me her soviet roots still linger just under her surface and before you know it, you’ll end up hog tied begging for mommy. Unless that’s your thing.

Avenger: Nick Fury
Why He’d Be Good in Bed: I’m not certain he qualifies as an Avenger, but the list was lacking a certain badassery that you know would just be amazing in the bedroom.
Why He’d Be Bad in Bed: Since he only has one eye, his depth perception leaves a little to be desired. Either that or its just his excuse for trying to stick it in the wrong hole.

So what do you say? Which lucky Avenger will you be taking home?

Firstly, do you believe in a multiverse? In other words, do you think there are other universes out there running parallel with ours? No? Okay, done, you can go now.

Now if you do believe in the multiverse, how exactly do you picture it? Are the universes exact replicas of our own, except for minor differences due to choices made by humans, or random events of chance that shaped the universe like in Fringe? Or are the universes completely different, the way Narnia and Middle Earth are different from our universe?

Say that the universes are exactly alike except for the minor differences, would we each have doubles in the other universes the way they do in Fringe? As much as I love Fringe, the thought of there being doubles of us in other universes is pretty ridiculous. For example, the whole idea about the different universes but with minor differences theory relies on the fact that choices and random events shape them, so wouldn’t that also apply to mating? What are the chances that our parents find each other in every universe to get jiggy with it and make sure we are born? And how could that apply to the entire world population? It just doesn’t seem feasible. But I’d say more than half of multiple universes in science fiction deal with doubles of ourselves. Is that just a fun plot device, or is there a scientific explanation that could back it up? Is it because there are infinite universes, so there are infinite numbers of ways for our parents to shack up and make us?

So what do you think? Have you ever given it much thought? Have you read any books (fiction or non-fiction) that deal with the multiverse? The one that comes to my mind is the His Dark Materials trilogy, which I love. Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!

Just kidding! Summer is the time to catch up on the televisions shows you missed in their original runs! I got a late start because of the move, but it started off with the first season of Popular. I hate to love and love to hate Glee, and people said this show by the same creator was great. Well, not so much. Surrounding moments of greatness were lots and lots of dreck. Maybe if the show was about Mary Cherry and nothing but Mary Cherry, I would love it, but since it wasn’t, I don’t. I still have the second season to get through (yeah, I still plan on watching it, I’m a completionist in the worst sense of the word), but I’m in no hurry.

Then it was onto Fringe! OMG I love Fringe. I started the first few episodes when it originally aired but gave up because it was too monster of the week and how many times could I hear Walter say “I worked on an experiment similar to this back in the seventies, now get me a root beer float!” Ugh. I hated Walter. But then I heard that by the end of the first season it increased it’s continuity and got a whole hell of a lot better, and that now it’s the greatest science fiction show on television. So I gave it another shot and fell in love immediately. Being able to plow through it on DVD made the monster of the week episodes much more tolerable, and I actually love Walter now! How crazy is that? The second season was amazing, and now I’m just waiting for the third season to come out on DVD so I can catch up in time for the fourth season to start at the end of the month.

While I’m waiting for Fringe, I’m watching Friday Night Lights. That’s right, yours truly is watching a show about football and loving it. Everyone kept telling me how amazing this show was but I refused to watch it because “it was just a stupid show about football”. But then I saw the first season on sale at Target for $9.99 and figured for that price I might as well give it a shot. And OMG it’s amazing! By the end of the first episode I was laughing, cheering, and crying. And then I’ve pretty much done that for every episode since. It’s so frakking good. I highly recommend it. I should have known it was amazing since the same friends and critics that support this show supported other amazing shows that no one else watched like Veronica Mars and Arrested Development. You live and you learn I guess.

So what shows are you guys catching up on now that you missed the first time around?

Thanks to Rob for bringing this to my attention. Not familiar with the Adam I’m referring to? Lucky you!

So about a month ago (or a meager four blog posts ago) I posted how I thought the movie Rise of the Planet of the Apes is a bad idea. While most people agreed with me (as smart, good looking people tend to do) the Adams (otherwise known as the gruesome twosome) basically said I was the biggest fucking idiot they ever had the displeasure of reading, how I was wrong in every way possible, and that I have a small penis.

Anyway, the point of my post was to say that I thought the new movie (which I hadn’t seen at the time) changed what was originally a cautionary tale of man wiping themselves out and apes evolving to take their place, into a more Hollywood tale of humans creating supersmart apes that overthrow them. The gruesome twosome had a field day telling me how ignorant I was and insisted that I was an idiot for not taking the four sequels that came out after Planet of the Apes into consideration.

What they said is true. I didn’t take the four sequels into consideration before writing my post. At the time, I had only seen the original Planet of the Apes (and the Tim Burton remake, but the less said about that, that better) but I still stand by my post in regards to my hesitancy to accept the plot of Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I have since watched the four sequels and Rise of the Planet of the Apes and can now speak about each more thoroughly.

I’d just like to start off by saying that this series is amazing. I was totally blown away by the complexity of the series, and the incredible continuity from movie to movie. It was definitely a single story told over a series of movie in the same vein as Star Wars. Do I think they had the entire series planned out when they made the first movie? No. Just like I don’t think George Lucas always knew Anakin built C-3PO or J.K. Rowling knew about the Elder Wand or the Horcruxes. But what they were able to create (especially with the last three movies) was a really cool circular storyline that carried over from movie to movie astonishingly well.

Another thing that struck me about these movies are how freaking dark they are. You haven’t felt gloomy till you’ve seen the ending to Escape from Planet of the Apes. What started off as a fun The Voyage Home-y fish out of water story turned into BAM! BAM! DEATH! DIE! BAM! BAM! BANG! Mama…

But as I’ve said, these movies were fantastic. And now I can talk about how I was wrong (an extremely rare occurrence) in my previous post. Humans didn’t kill themselves off letting apes evolve to take their place over millions of years. The transition from human-dominated to ape-dominated in the original timeline of the first two movies is only a thousand years. The transition becomes even shorter when Cornelius and Zira go back in time and accelerate things by having their evolved child Caesar accelerate matters with his rebellion. And the nuclear war that annihilated humans wasn’t just regular good old fashioned human war, it was more about the humans attempt to stop the apes from taking over.

So there. I was wrong. I still think I have a valid point when just looking at the first movie, and the intentions of the filmmakers at that time, but I will concede that an ape rebellion against the humans was the intent of the original series, and I was wrong to think that Rise of the Planet of the Apes was lame for being about apes rebelling against humans and not humans wiping themselves out.

Now let’s talk about the new movie, Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It was really good. It tells the story of a scientist and his crusade to find a drug that cures Alzheimer’s. In the movie, he experiments on apes and the result is a super smart ape named Caesar who begins the ape rebellion. Overall the story was really good, and the special effects were amazing. I’d even say it even has similar themes to the original series. The original series was very reminiscent of the civil rights movement, while this new movie lost a bit of that and it came across more about animal rights. Not that that’s a bad thing, animal rights is a big issue, it just doesn’t have the same power as civil rights.

I still have some beef with the movie though. As a fan of the original series (yes, I only just saw them a week ago, but as a fanboy I reserve the right to have fanboy rage at the drop of a hat, and I’m reminded of this quote from the Family Guy Star Wars parody:

Chris (Luke Skywalker): You don’t believe in the Force, do you?
Peter (Han Solo): Oh, you mean the thing you just found out about three hours ago and are now judging me for not believing in?

) I can still be upset with this movie for what it does with the timeline. Wait a second, did I just open and close parentheses around a blockquote? Holy shit, my mind has just been blown. Okay, I’m back!

What the hell is this new movie? It’s a reboot, plain and simple. This isn’t a prequel that fits nicely into the framework set up by the original series. It completely contradicts what we know about the ape rebellion in the original series. And frankly, as a newbie fan of the original series, it’s kind of annoying. The Caesar of this movie, is not the Caesar of the original movies. The original movies also didn’t have supersmart gas that turned helped the apes rebel, which is something I’ve always found a bit cheap about the new movie. But like I said before, the new movie is really good. It just doesn’t fit in with the other movies, and it’s obvious that the filmmakers wanted to make a cool action movie and just gave it a Planet of the Apes title.

So in conclusion, the original Planet of the Apes movies are awesome, and I was wrong not to take the entire series into consideration when discussing my beef with the new movie. And yes, the new movie is pretty darn good, but I still stand by the fact that the science experiment gone wrong storyline isn’t as powerful as the intent and message of the first movie and the series that followed.

Oh, and my penis is just right, thank you very much.