2. People who have enormous umbrellas. What? You can’t get a single drop on you? Seriously, next time it rains I’m going to take the umbrella from our patio furniture and go stomping down a crowded sidewalk and see how they like it.

3. I’m also not crazy about the 20 pounds I’ve gained in the last year. My mom can’t stop going on about how much she loves it and how much better I look. She should feel how I feel in my pants. Especially my jeans after they’ve come out of the wash! She also enjoys calling it the “secretary spread” because all I do is sit at my desk all day. Which makes me feel so much better about it. Maybe I need to start workin out? Or I could just wait until my pants can’t take it any longer and the button pops off and takes out someone’s eye and the state of New York mandates that I exercise for the good of public safety.

4. Two weeks until the next LOST? How come no one told me this before? I was left feeling cold and betrayed when the LOST announcer guy was like: “The season finale of LOST in two weeks! At a special time!”. Special, my ass! And how come I always write LOST in capital letters? It’s not like it’s anagram or anything. I guess it’s because of the wooshing logo in the beginning. And Lost just doesn’t look right.

5. Can you please just tell us when the second half of the current season of Battlestar Galactica will be airing? If you’re going to push it back to 2009, at least tell me now so I can prepare myself. I don’t do well when my TV schedule is thrust upon me without my prior consent (see above). As a public service I’d like to inform you that there is no Battlestar Galactica next week. They’re taking a break for Memorial Day. As if we actually do anything on Memorial Day weekend.

And just so I’m not a complete Negative Nellie today, here’s another Battlestar Galactica LOLCat:

1. I’m amazed at the special effects they were using on a television show in 1987. I can’t even tell if the enterprise is a model or CGI. Did they even have CGI back then? But if you can’t tell what method of special effects they’re using, that’s a good thing. Yes, I could tell when they reused some of the same spaceship shots, but only because I was watching the show in marathons. And yes, most of the aliens are humanoid, but the make-up effects are spectacular!

2. I love the way every show starts off. “We’re on our way to the 3rd planet of the Beta System to investigate a deadly mutant spore that has suddenly appeared blah blah blah.” It cuts right to the chase, so the mystery of the show is introduced before the opening credits, so you get as much bang for your buck. No unnecessary filler.

3. Normally I hate series that focus on “monster-of-the-week” episodes or even stand-alone episodes in continuous story series like Battlestar Galactica, but it really doesn’t bother me here. The individual mysteries and stories are so good that you don’t need an overall story arc to want to keep watching episode after episode.

4. Contrary to popular belief, there wasn’t a single episode where 3 main characters and 1 extra went on a mission, and the extra got killed. Not once in the entire season! Take that nay-sayers!

5. Slightly too much Wesley Crusher saving the day.

6. I love the balance of drama and humor. It’s not afraid to tackle big issues, but at times it can be wonderfully light-hearted and whimsical. Like the time Lieutenant Tasha Yar had sex with Data. Seriously!

7. The chemistry between the entire cast is absolutely undeniable. They all blend into their roles and interact so well. They’re really one in a million.

8. Male crew members in miniskirt Starfleet uniforms!

9. While the phaser doesn’t give you the same satisfaction as the big honking “lock and load!” laser rifles found in most other science fiction, you have to admire the restraint of the designers to keep things simple and logical. Why not have a small hand held phaser? It makes complete sense.

10. Patrick Stewart is awesome. He adds so much gravitas to the role of Captain Picard. Plus he loves Star Trek and isn’t one of those people that tries to distance themselves from the role. In a recent interview, he was asked about weird Star Trek fans and he said: “How many do you know personally? You couldn’t be more wrong. Here’s the thing: if you say the fans are weird, that means there is something essentially weird about the show, and there is nothing weird about it. I’m very passionate when people like you snigger.” Um, how awesome is he?

I’m taking a break from Star Trek: The Next Generation for the time being and switching over to the first season of Babylon 5, another science fiction series I’ve never seen. I’m really excited because it seems to have a great cult following. I’ll probably go back and forth between seasons. One season of Star Trek, then one season of Babylon 5, and so forth and so on. The excitement never ends!

We discussed topics such as nude yoga (in which I don’t partake), karaoke, (in which I don’t partake), and porn (in which I don’t partake). Check out his blog!

The video is boring, but there’s no official video, so it was either this or a tribute to Jack and Kate from LOST, which I refuse to support because Kate should be with Sawyer.

I honestly have no idea how they’re going to end this series. You see, Han and Leia had three children: Twins Jacen and Jaina, and the late younger brother Anakin (who I might have fallen in love with, it’s okay to fall in love with literary characters, right?). That’s Jaina fighting Jacen up above in the book jacket. She spent the last book training with Boba Fett (I know!) because who better to teach a Jedi how to kill another Jedi than Boba Fett: Super Jedi Killer Extraordinaire! I find it hard to believe they’ll kill off Jacen because then there’s only one more Solo left, and they’re kinda the main characters of the books these days. Plus killing your brother is pretty heavy stuff. But redeeming Jacen seems highly unlikely also. So I’m excited to see how this will end.

Anyway, these books are awesome and I don’t know why Lucas doesn’t make TV shows or movies concerning the Star Wars universe after the movies. Do we really need another Clone Wars cartoon? What is there left to tell? We already know how Count Dooku and General Grievous are gonna meet their end, so obviously they’ll survive. And chances are that Obi-Wan and Anakin will survive the Clone Wars so they can appear in Episode III which we already saw! Oh, and I bet that cute alien girl who doesn’t appear in Episode III won’t survive the Clone Wars. Just a hunch! Check out the trailer for the unnecessary and video-gamish movie HERE.

PS - You just know I’ll see it opening day.

Have you ever said the word “ampersand” and the person you’re talking to has no idea what you’re talking about? Or are you the person who has no idea what the crazy person saying “ampersand” is talking about? Well I’m here to clear up any confusion. The ampersand is a logogram, which represents the word “and”. A logogram is a picture or symbol, which represents a word, the most famous logograms being Egyptian hieroglyphics.

So where did this wacky little symbol & come from? Well you see, the word “and” in Latin is “et”. Through time the word “et” evolved into the symbol & as shown below:

In some modern fonts, the origins of the ampersand symbol can still be seen. Like in the Trebuchet MS version seen here: &

Okay, so that takes care of the symbol &, but where does that silly word “ampersand” come from? The word “ampersand” is derived from the phrase “and per se and”, with “per se” meaning “by itself”. In the glorious days of yesteryear, whenever kids recited the alphabet, they added “per se” to any letter that could itself be a word (such as A, I, and &, which was added at the end of the alphabet at the time). So if you replace the first “and” in the phrase “and per se and” with the symbol for “and” while throwing in an equal sign for good measure you get “& by itself = and”. Feel free to read that again if it doesn’t make sense. It took me about a dozen times before it sunk in. Got it?

“& by itself = and” = “and per se and” = “ampersand”

Now here’s something I learned a few years ago, and I still think about it every time I see it. In the credits of a movie, if there is more than one screenwriter and they are separated by an &, it means that they worked together on the screenplay. If they are separated by the word “and” it means they worked separately, usually involving the studio passing around the draft to get it reworked. You’ll never look at the screenwriters’ credit the same way ever again.

NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW.

Today’s Edition: The Politics of Tomorrow!

In the year 2297, human civilization reached a crossroads. We could either continue fighting with each other, or reach a peaceful resolution. Since no one remembered why started fighting in the first place, we decided to make nice with each other. We lived in glorious peace for centuries. That is until the Culcari (Praise be with Them) invasion of 2681. Since humanity had stopped fighting wars with each other, our civilization completely forgot how to defend ourselves. It was an easy victory for the Culcari (Honor Them with your sacrifices). Looking back, world peace was probably the worst thing that happened to us. If you ever happen to make it back to the past, be sure to punch someone of a different religion, just to keep things going.

Now in the year 3000, humanity is ruled by our Culcari Overlords (May the blood of Their enemies fill the streets) who rule from their orbiting spaceships. It is not the will of our Culcari Overlords (A pox upon the house of anyone who wishes Them harm) to impose their values upon humanity. While they rule with a just and iron fist, it pleases them to leave humanity’s values and laws in place. These values and laws may have changed since your time, so let us quickly review the most basic principles of human law.

Voting: Since it is rightly assumed that you agree with the wisdom of our Culcari Overlords (May Their teeth never know dullness) voting is no longer necessary.

Universal Language: When humanity (hereby known as “the infidels”) attained world peace in 2297 and a single united government was formed, it was decided that English would be made the official language of Earth. Not because everyone agreed that English is a superior language, but because Americans wouldn’t have it any other way.

Gay Marriage: It was a warm Spring day in 2401 when God came down to the infidels and declared that he approved of Gay Marriage, and that his name is Bob. Since opponents of Gay Marriage couldn’t use God as an excuse any longer, they admitted that the real reason they opposed Gay Marriage is because gay sex is icky. Luckily that reason didn’t hold up as well in court.

Abortion: Abortion ceased being an issue of contention when human evolution took the next logical step and women developed stinging vagina tentacles making sex completely impossible except for the most masochistic men and lesbos.

Gun Control: When the infidels reached world peace, all guns and weapons of mass destruction were incinerated and there was never any violence ever again. LOL! Just kidding. Without guns, criminals started using crossbows, axes, swords, catapults, spears, fists, stakes, maces, machetes, rapiers, and throwing stars. While still destructive, these weapons were useless against Culcari (Let the laserburns on our backs be a reminder that They truly love us) armament.

Corporal Punishment: If there is one thing that our Culcari Overlords (May Their children be birthed through the painful, deadly, and highly illogical process of bursting through the chests of infidels) have taught us, it is that the life of an infidel is meaningless. If one of these infidels is guilty of a crime, they are killed immediately. Unless of course that crime is something that pleases the Culcari (May They ravage our women while we are forced to watch and comment on Their massive junk), such as some sort of booby trap involving a banana peel, glue, and tortilla chips. Our Culcari Overlords (To know Them is to know the face of Bob) love slapstick.

There we have it. Go forth, you tiny insignificant infidel!

Puntabulous was recently featured in the online and print magazine Cybersocket. In the March Issue, Puntabulous was listed as a Blog You Should Be Reading (which apparently you are) in an article entitled Secrets of Successful Bloggers. They said:

The site Puntabulous is run by Craig McAnally, a self-styled Napoleon Dynamite with a wonderfully off-kilter sense of humor. If you enjoy off-the-cuff comments and stream-of-consciousness bon mots, you’ll find Craig’s blog incredibly entertaining. Puntabulous offers something we’ve been seeing more of lately, and it’s something we love: hot nerds. Cute gay guys obsessed with Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, comics, videogames, gadgets, and all the other telltale signs of geekdom. Craig’s quirky mix of stories, movie reviews, recipes, original sketches, hysterical debates, and random rants make for great reading because he always gives of himself, putting a great deal of thought and effort into his wacky posts. The main ingredient at Puntabulous is passion. Craig’s passion is his site, and it shows. He’s just having fun - and taking us along for the ride.

Sweet! They called me a hot nerd! Then in May’s issue, they had an article titled It’s Hip to be Square where I was mentioned again! Danny wrote:

As an admitted geek, one of my favorite blogs is Puntabulous. Created by Craig McAnally — a self-described dork — the site deals with a large array of nerdy topics. One of Craig’s best recurring features is an online cartoon strip he created that deals with two superheroes named Super Viagra and Vagina Girl. Craig says, “Super Viagra actually came about thanks to a spam e-mail for erectile dysfunction. They were hawking Cialis — or, as they called it, ‘Super Viagra.’ The idea of a super hero who has sex with people instead of saving them tickled my perverted fancy.” Many of the threads on the site’s discussion board trigger hot debate, such as a recent one that dared to pit Star Wars vs. Star Trek. As you might expect, this thread ended up receiving four times more comments than usual. When you go for the jugular (in this case, Star Wars and Star Trek) the nerds come out of the closet in force.

Isn’t that ridiculously awesome? So I’d like to send a HUGE thanks to Danny and Cybersocket Magazine for including me in their features and making me feel that being dorky and cool aren’t always mutually exclusive.

Battlestar Galactica LOL Cats
Battlestar Galactica LOL Cats Redux

Wow. The was by far one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer made an awesome team as a conman and gay private detective respectively. Not only was it hysterical, but the mystery/thriller aspect was hugely engaging. I love when a comedy takes it plot seriously, and doesn’t resort to a cookie cutter plot just as a means to tell some jokes. It also reminded me a lot of Family Guy and 30 Rock with its cutaway flashes of random humor. Plus Robert Downey Jr.’s narration was priceless. You need to see this movie immediately!

Netflix #26 - August Rush - Suggested by Irisgirl

This one took a while to win me over. I watched it for the first hour absolutely unimpressed. My cold, black heart wasn’t budging one bit. I thought it was ridiculously cliche and annoying. Plus Robin Williams’ storyline was not what I expected at all, and I absolutely hated the whole musical Lost Boys thing he had going on. But as the second hour progressed, my heart started to thaw and by the end I enjoyed it. I still don’t think it’s that great of a movie because of the kinda lame first hour and Robin Williams (who I normally love) but it was a cute little movie. Also: How gorgeous is Keri Russell?

Iron Man

What else is there to say about Iron Man that you haven’t already heard? It’s an incredible comic book movie on the same level as Batman Begins (although Batman Begins is still the pinnacle of comic book movies). I guess what I can say about the movie that you may not have heard yet is that it will make you like Gwyneth Paltrow again. I mean, after she nearly ruined the otherwise awesome Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow with her atrocious acting and then named her kid Apple, I was all set to be annoyed by her mere presence in the movie. But she came across totally cute and charming. There. Now go see it. Not just for me, for Gwyneth.

My Recommendation to You: The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

You guys are nice enough to give me loads of recommendations, so it’s about time I returned the favor. So I gladly present you with a 2001 movie you’ve probably never heard of called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. It’s a throwback to the really bad science fiction movies of yesteryear. It’s absolutely ridiculous and wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s exactly laugh-out-loud funny, but I had a huge smile on my face the entire time I watched it. Here’s the trailer so you can get a taste for what you’re in for.

Keep your recommendations coming!