I’m sorry to report that Super Viagra and Vagina Girl will not be saving Christmas this year. After two years of saving Christmas, I’ve come to the sad realization that you will need to save Christmas yourselves. But fear not! I hear that Rainbow Poo may be up to the task this year.
There are a couple of factors playing into this. First and foremost is MSPaint. They updated MSPaint in my upgrade from Windows Vista to Windows 7. They upgraded it so much that it’s like they’re trying to turn it into an actual productive program. Like, what’s up with that? There’s all different types of paintbrushes and shades and nonsense like that. I can hardly figure it out! Don’t they know me and my artistic talents only work under the most basic of circumstances? That’s why you haven’t been seeing any of my wonderful MSPaint creations lately. I need to see if I can downgrade my version of MSPaint, I just haven’t taken the time to do it yet.
Secondly, I was going to take the time to work on it this past weekend but you see, I made an offer on a beautiful two bedroom co-op instead. That’s right. After 29 years (minus college and one horrid year in Brooklyn of course) I’ll finally be moving out of the womb that is my parents house. The sellers have accepted the offer and now it’s just a matter of getting all the paperwork and financials together. Hopefully everything will go smoothly.
Anyway, after the offer was accepted, I was so panic-stricken that something would go wrong (or that little issue of actually coming up with the down payment) that I was practically paralyzed all of Sunday and the Lord’s Day is when I’m normally at the top of my pervy Super Viagra game. So I just vegged out and watched Catwoman instead, which frankly, wasn’t as good as I remembered. But I like to blame that on the stress rather than the filmmakers.
So yeah, sorry to be full of excuses, but that’s the case. Anyway, wish me luck on this co-op business. I’ll certainly need it! And perhaps when things settle down, Super Viagra and Vagina Girl can save Valentine’s Day or something. So this year, I leave things in the capable hands of Rainbow Poo.
