Posts Tagged ‘ Puntabugang ’

Happy Birthday Adam!

July 5, 2011
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Today it’s Adam’s birthday, so I’ve asked the gang to submit haikus in celebration. Without further ado:

First there is mine:

Here is one from Mikey:

Here is Fdot’s:

Here is John’s submission:

Here is VUBOQ’s!

Here is one from Chris D:

Here’s Michelle M’s!

Here is on from Ryan:

And here’s Jere’s:

Here’s one from Tam:

We even got one from Spring!

And then there’s Polt, who did a limerick instead of a haiku. Let us all point and laugh at his non-conformance. I wonder if he’ll yell at me for pointing out he didn’t follow the rules? Oh well!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM!

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I brought him into this world, I can take him out!

April 26, 2011
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Have you guys noticed how especially cocky and rude Adam has been lately? You know exactly what I’m talking about, right? Like this comment from yesterday for example. Okay great, I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength. Well the amazing Michelle M. made this and I’m glad she is able to properly portray who is who in this world:

And God said to Adam: “Checketh thyself before you wrecketh thyself!”

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The First Comments from the Puntabugang

March 28, 2011
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Prepare yourselves for a trip down memory lane! I always love going back and seeing when commenters first started coming around and thought you might too. Here I present the first comments from the members of the Puntabugang in chronological order. Please note that these can’t take into account lurking or (in some cases) commenting under other names.

Polt: March 31, 2006: Just stumbled on your site, man! You’re great! had me laughing. And so accurate on the American Idol rhymes! I wish I could come up with that kinda stuff! Color me jealous. Keep up the good work!

Ed. note: What, no HUGS?

Tam: January 12, 2007: Those pics are amazing. That is one talented Grandma you have. I live in the great white north and we don’t have A&F or the other one and I’m probably way old to shop there, but I’ll steer my pre-teen away from them based on your analysis. I probably can’t afford them anyway.

Ed. note: Aw, “pre-teen”. How the kid has grown!

David: March 20, 2007: OK, that was almost a new art-form in and of itself.

Ed. note: Woops, sorry, David wasn’t first.

Jere: November 26, 2007: But… but… the third one *had a dance sequence* … which was my favorite part. Because in my fantasy world, if I get infected by an evil alien symbiote that gives me super powers and emo hair, you bet your ass that the first thing I’m gonna do is find an ex who broke my heart and do a little “look what you’re not getting” dance.

Ed. note: I can’t tell if he’s serious or note. It’s an ongoing problem.

VUBOQ: November 29, 2007: I just noticed that I’ve got some Puntabulous LinkyLuv going on. *woot* That makes me happier than a pig in mud. I shall reciprocate soon. *smooches*

Ed. note: My first *smooches*! Swoooooon.

Paul: December 20, 2007: Since you have no Star Trek example I would like to submit the Klingon D-7 Battlecruiser as an example. Long shaft, wings for flight, and a torpedo launcher on the tip. Makes you wonder what a Klingon penis would look like. I bet Pringles aren’t the only thin with ridges.

Ed. note: Of course Paul’s first comment is pervy. This is only the beginning of the swirl epidemic.

John: December 23, 2007: The same thing happen to me! I let it grow back out and watched the hairdresser like a hawk the next time to prevent further deforestation. I don’t have the full on unibrow, just some connectors, so I don’t bother removing them. If it was a full one, I might separate them, but I’m not a big fan of overly groomed eyebrows on men. I think they often look fake. Try not to worry about it, it will grow back soon. Besides, with all the cute and nerdy you have going on, who’s going to care about your eyebrows?

Ed. note: So true.

Fdot: January 15, 2008: Just point out to The Devil that he wrote “your” instead of “you’re” and that you’re only serious about people who can’t write.

Ed. note: Future fan favorite in the making!

Chris D: January 21, 2008: Both Michelle and Craig did a great job. However I would have to say that Craig won me over. Sadly, Grover’s computer support is actually more effective than some IT people I have worked with. My favorite muppet has to be Kermit. He is such an earnest pragmatist! BTW: I love Craig’s waiter costume. Handsome and dashing, look out James Bond! Bow ties totally rock. Chris

Ed. Note: You don’t have to sign your name at the end. We can figure it out.

Enrico: January 31, 2008: Favorite: Sweet P & Rami; Least: RICKY; Miss: Elisa & Kevin

Ed. note: He went by Nicky at the time! So cute. Too bad he hates us all now.

Heather: February 6, 2008: Glad you liked the photos! Sadly, when I checked this morning Godzilla was no longer enjoying his treat – it looked like the cats had taken it from him, and in Godzilla vs. Hungry Cat, well, it was no match.

Ed. note: What a lovely introduction to the world of Heather and TwoPi.

Dave S: February 13, 2008: I was asked to rate one of these things too a while back and it was pretty holy-catastrophic-train-wreck-Batman. This post was probably funnier than the entire 22-minutes worth of dialogue on that so-called sitcom. Go to Hollywood, Craig, and make us proud. Just don’t go, fail miserably, and end up living in a box behind a Wal-mart. (although probably far more interesting, it doesn’t induce quite the level of pride)

Ed. note: Oh god, this was only the beginning.

Michelle M: April 9, 2008: I enjoyed all the Christopher Moore books mentioned, but really loved The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror. Have you seen the movies Hot Fuzz or Sean of the Dead? I recommend those for your Netflix list. Page 3? Still? Love you Craig!

Ed note: I love you too Michelle!

TwoPi: April 15, 2008: Not sure if I’m just being snarky, or if this will count as a “teach me Tuesday” contribution… One waits with bated breath, not baited breath. Bated, as in “abated”. One holds one’s breath in anticipation (or contrarily “don’t hold your breath” if waiting with bated breath is a waste of one’s time). Baited breath, on the other hand, is when you eat a can of tuna, in hopes that the seventeen year old feline master of the house gets close enough to its human slave so that said slave (i.e., you) can grab feline master by the scruff of the neck and inject its insulin shot for the evening.

Ed. note: And the 360 madness continues in the best way possible.

Ryan: May 20, 2008: This allows you to simulate a laser. It even allows you to blow it up if you make it too powerful. However, Electric Field Hockey is probably the most fun simulation they have.

Ed. note: A geek from the very beginning. Just the way we like them!

Adam: September 4, 2008: I agree completely and 100%! I’d say that they’re okay for little kids… but if you’re too old to be dragging a My Little Pony backpack on the sidewalk behind you, then man up and wear it on your back!

Ed. note: My future nemesissy rival! This was back when he didn’t think he was the flying spaghetti monster’s gift to blogging.

M Nico: November 18, 2008: I have to agree with Tam; “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” was crap! I also had to put down Stephen Kings “The Gunslinger” as I couldn’t get in to it. One series I love is the Night Runner series by Lynn Flewelling; it has gay protagonists and is a great fantasy story (Elves, magic. epic adventure). I will have to give “Hero” a read, thanks for the tip!

Ed. note: You’re welcome! See, Adam? SOME people like my reviews!

Nathan: March 13, 2009: 1. Martini (gin and dry vermouth), the olive is a NECESSITY and Kool Aid; 2. The Martini.

Ed. note: Is he old enough to drink?

Mel: April 3, 2009: “You don’t want to be an archaeologist. They don’t make any money.” So at 12, I decided to become a veterinarian instead. Now I’m trying to figure out what to be next. I suppose I could go back to archaeologist.

Ed. note: I bet he looks snazzy in a fedora.

Josh: May 19, 2009: I loved it and am so glad I can purchase “Don’t Stop Believing”. I’ve been playing the ten second clip from the commercial over and over in my head ever since I first heard it!

Josh: OMG Josh used to love Glee?!

Mush: May 26, 2009: This is the coolest blog post on the entire Intarwebz. And can you plz make me a purple suit like Vuboq’s and mail it to me? I’ve had a bad day and a purple outfit with a jaunty hat would really help.

Ed. note: I never did mail her that outfit.

Justin: December 2, 2009: I hate movies that think we’re so stupid they have to spell out how we’re supposed to feel at each moment. I hate slow-motion characters moving towards you with an expanding fireball behind them (thank goodness that trope is not as common as it was) I hate the trendy over-use of “first-person” shaky-queasy cam. Yes, we get it. You know how to forget everything you were ever taught about how to pan or zoom. We get that you think it’s cool and makes it look more “real” and “in your face”. Now stop making me throw up and use real camera work. It’s nice! Like scripts! And characters!

Ed. note: Even in the beginning they were loooooong.

Mikey: June 8, 2010: The Undiscovered Country will remain my absolute favorite Star Trek of all time. The mindmeld scene with Leonard Nimoy and Kim Cattrall is classic. I mean…seriously… who else can make extraordinary pain look like sex better than her!?!?

Ed. note: I have since learned that Mikey can.

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The Ten Most Awful Things about Adam from Cocky & Rude

March 18, 2011
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So we all know Adam from Cocky & Rude is the worst person on the face of the planet, but what are the top ten reasons? Fear not, gentle reader! I’ve summed them up for you in this handy dandy list:

1. He posts disgusting pictures of himself on the internet. Look no further than the picture above!

2. He’s a ginger.

3. He’s not even a good ginger. Like, it’s blondish. If you’re gonna be a fucking ginger, be a fucking ginger.

4. He lives in New Jersey. Gross. I want to fist pump all over his stupid face.

5. He’s a vegan. Like, seriously?! The guy from Green Eggs and Ham ate it in the end and loved it! You should try it sometime!

6. He’s a grammar Nazi. If I want to say “Me and Jesus”, I will fucking say “Me and Jesus”!

7. The name of his stupid blog is NSFW. I have to look over my fucking shoulder to make sure no one sees the giant COCK on my screen. What a dick.

8. He leaves nasty comments on innocent and gorgeous bloggers’ innocent and informative blog posts.

9. His underused cartoon super hero is lamer than my underused cartoon super hero.

10. He has a coblogger that writes better blog posts than him. I mean, how idiotic is that? You should only get a coblogger who will make you look better in comparison! What a maroon!

And there we have it. I hope you found this blog post as informative as I found it therapeutic.

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Because NO ONE Asked For It!

January 21, 2011
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So when the former frequent (frequent is the understatement of all understatements) commenter Dave S randomly popped back into our lives, I thought it would be fun to conduct a formal interview with him to find out where he’s been and what he’s been up to. Well, it didn’t turn out that great, and Dave stopped responding after a while (and I didn’t remind him because like I said, this interview wasn’t coming out that great). But I thought I’d share what little I got out of him with anyone who cares (read as: no one). Enjoy! (But you won’t.)

(more…)

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Michelle M’s ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

December 25, 2010
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Okay, who cares if Cocky and Rude did something similar yesterday? Michelle M is amazing and I’m thrilled and honored to be presenting another one of her incredible guest posts! Merry Christmas everyone!


Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web,
Not one mouse was clicking, the blogs were all dead.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that our hero soon would be there.

Elves Kimi and Kristen and Mush and M. Nico,
Heather and TwoPi, Dave2 and joshrico,
Up at the North Pole were all super busy,
The hustle and bustle had all in a tizzy.

The commenters* were passed out on top of their beds,
While visions of simians danced in their heads.
* Disclaimer: fictionalized commenters not as attractive as in real life.

And I in my argyle and Nat with her gun,
Had just settled down for some sexytime fun.

When out of the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
It was Ryan with cupcake all covered in batter.

Away to the window I flew like the wind,
Impressive as I was quite tonic and ginned.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave lustre of mid-day to the stalker below.

When what to Polt’s purply eye should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and nine hot, studly queer.

With a little round driver, so horny and blue,
He was more colorful than Tam’s shoulder tattoo.
More rapid than ninjas his men how they flew,
As he whistled and whipped them and kept them in queue.

Now Fdot, now Vuboq, now Paul and Chris D.,
On Jere, on David, on Mel and Mikey.

And to ensure a gift went to each child, sir and madam,
The team was led by the bright red glow of Adam.

And then on the roof was a hullabaloo,
Of the prancing and pawing of each little shoe.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney S.V. came with a bound.

Virile and cocky from his head to his foot,
His cape was all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
I was awed and amazed by the size of his sack.

His eyes how they twinkled! His smile so red!
I think that his body was also his head.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his eyebrows were colored the brightest yellow.

His chubby was plump, a right horny old pill,
And I lol’d when I saw him, he gave me a thrill.
He whipped out a list that he had to check twice,
To see which commenters had been naughty or nice.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He filled up my stocking; then turned with a jerk,
And laying a finger aside of his stiffy,
He rose up the chimney as quick as a jiffy.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a fluffing,
And away they all flew with much huffing and puffing.
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
“Razzle Dazzle to all, and to all a Good-Night!”

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The 2011 Puntabulous Calendar!

November 1, 2010
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Hey all, Polt here! Just like the last two years, this year we have an official Puntabulous 2011 calendar! And it’s got a theme: it’s a ‘swimsuit’ calendar! You’ll marvel at the humor and originality of the Puntabupeeps in coming up with their ‘swimsuits’. It looks like this year I’m going to be able to keep the cost at $10 a calendar again, which is something of a surprise, even to me. I’m hoping to get these completed and mailed out so they’re recieved by Christmas or New Years at the latest. If anyone’s interested in a calendar, please let me know by November 15th so i have a final tally. If you don’t already have my contact info, you can email me HERE. And thanks to all the Puntabupeeps who participated for their time and effort in they contributions! [Ed. Note: Craig's is totally the best! -Craig]

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Things I Learned From and/or About the Puntabugang

August 3, 2010
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So this weekend was the big Puntabulous Pool Party! People came from all over the country (California! Pennsylvania! Washington DC! New Jersey!) and beyond (Oh, Canada!) for this shindig! Not only was it amazing fun, but it was also quite the learning experience! Here are just a few things my dancing monkeys taught me! Why am I using so many exclamation points?!


Michelle M: Michelle M. taught me that not all California Gurls wear cupcake bras that shoot frosting out of their nipples. Believe me, I checked.


Harry: I learned his name is actually Terry. He also takes offense when you check to see if his wife is wearing a cupcake brassiere.


Tam: Tam taught me that not all non-Americans are terrorists. Just Canadians.


Kristen: I was made aware of the fact that Kristen is the sweetest thing imaginable and incapable of being corrupted by pervy bloggers. Except for Adam. Hence the “We’re up to no good” looks on their faces.


Mikey: I found out that Mikey’s beard is actually an elaborate facial weave made from the fur of baby seals he clubs himself and later dyes with octopus ink. He is capable of growing his own beard, but enjoys the sport of clubbing seals and wrangling octopi.


Adam: I learned that the back of Adam’s knee smells like pink Starbursts.


Enrico: I found out that Enrico is short and speaks in all capital letters. It doesn’t really say A-DORK-ABLE on my shirt, that’s just Enrico’s text bubble.


Josh: I learned that Josh can charm the pants off of anyone but Stephen.

David: I learned that David’s name is most certainly not Stephen.


Chris D.: I found out that Chris D. has got some serious swagger, with the sunglasses and subtle spread of the legs to prove it.

Paul: Paul lives in my town and I found out that he’s the reason why all the local stores are out of stock in pink shorts. He has the whole island’s supply monopolized. ::shakes fist::


Polt: Polt showed me that while he may be wearing a Superman shirt, he has the child-like innocence of Jimmy Olsen. And the vagina of Lois Lane.

Jere: I learned that there isn’t a hat Jere can’t make look good, and a camera he can’t refuse to tongue.


Fdot: I found out that FDot makes really awesome cookies and isn’t offended when you eat so many that you throw up in his shoe when he isn’t looking (even if he’s wearing them at the time).

Justin: Justin taught me that Adam gives great head.


VUBOQ: I learned that parties don’t start till VUBOQ walks in (and brings all the good alcohol).


Nathan: Nathan taught me that American beer is actually just the piss of Canadian beer makers. Also, Canada is better than America in every way possible.


Natalie: I learned — once again — that Natalie Portman, my wife, is a dirty slut.


Mom and Dad: I learned that Mom and Dad are pretty awesome, which admittedly I was already pretty sure of. And my Dad has an unconventionally large head.

Lastly, I’m sure we all already knew, but could always use the reminder that bloggers (and friends and family of bloggers) have no shame:

So yeah, it’s a good thing I’m so smart, or else all this learning would have fried my brain more than the sun did. Seriously, the sun is hot, y’all! Anyway, what a fantastic weekend! I had an amazing time! Thank you to everyone who came! And thank you so much again for the wonderful park bench, graphic novels, and argyle tie!

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